The Boyfriend Zone

Reader H.H. is bedeviled by the Boyfriend Zone.

Dear Chateau! you’ve helped me a lot so…

What to do when girls always put me in the “potential boyfriend” category? I’m a sociable guy who usually has no problems talking to strangers, getting people to smile or laugh, etc. I travel, have a cool job, hit the gym every once in a while and know my way around both in a sports bar and in an art gallery.

However, I tend to always be approached or at the very least orbited by 7s and 8s looking for a relationship*. ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term” or ”I’d like to kiss you now, but I have to find out first whether you’re married”. (I could take them home and fuck them, but I hate to lie.)

I’m more interested in short crazy, one nighters with no strings attached. What’s this? I’ve been afraid that I’m giving out too many nice guy vibes, could that be it? Is there an element of danger missing? Are the sluts not interested? What am I fucking up?

*Of course the next step is to upgrade from 7-8s to 8-9s, but i’m not sure if that problem is connected with this…

When a woman tries to put you in the Boyfriend Zone, it usually means you’re giving off a heavy player vibe. She fears you’ll make her another bedpost notch, but she desires you, so to reconcile the good feeling with the bad feeling, she presses for reassurances that you won’t use and lose her. This is classic anti-slut defense (ASD) posturing.

This is a perfectly natural female response, and you have two ways to tackle it. One, you can tone down your charming jerk vibe in favor of more beta-ish cues of reliability and emotional investment. In game parlance, you’d back off of the teasing and flirting and stress comfort-building and qualification (i.e., “Do you like the idea of traveling with one person you really love?”). You’ll also want to flash hints of vulnerability. “I’ve had my heart broken enough times to know I’m no player.” With these girls, that effervescent connection is king. “I’m just a guy looking for the same thing you are.”

Two, you can screen for girls who want short, crazy flings or one night stands. This means you amp your jerk smirk to 11 and escalate sexually (and logistically). The idea is that you avoid any confusion that you’re potential boyfriend material. Mixed messages are probably what’s confusing girls about your intentions. Normally, this is a good thing, unless you don’t like to mislead girls, which you said you don’t. An unambiguous dispatch of your cad intentions communicated through your behavior filters for girls who want the same thing. You’ll scare away LTR-focused girls, while attracting sluts, unhappily married women, ovulating women, thrill-seekers, rebounds, urban gogrrls on anonymous adventures, highly sexual women, and smart women.

Occasionally, a woman will put you in the Boyfriend Zone because your behavior in some way has pinged her boyfriend radar, and she’s excited about the prospect of dating a man who’s on her wavelength. Her excitement can be so great, she seeks validation for the LTR promise that hangs heavy in the air between you two. This validation seeking can take the form of probing questions about your “commitment to commitment”, because for these women romantic escalation is as intoxicating as sexual escalation. Many players have no compunction about leading these types of women on (and it’s quite easy to be good at it), so if that’s not something you’d do then you’ll have to stick to strategy #2 and actively select for low impulse control girls.

I have some disheartening news. If you’re constitutionally against the idea of leading women on*, you’ll have a harder time finding many 8s or 9s interested in no-strings-attached sex. Contrary popular mythology, most funfunfun girls who’ll agree to what amounts to slutting it up are the wastoids, the desperate, and, if your game is good, the borderline cuties in the 5-7 range. While SCIENCE! is hard to come by, my impression is that blue city 7s rack up more sex partners than 9s. Which makes sense; all women want the alpha male’s sex and the alpha male’s commitment. But only the best women — read: the hottest — have reasonable expectations of achieving both goals. Less hot girls will sometimes resort to giving away their sex for a shot of alpha male money shots and a slim hope of rousing his long game lovingkindness in the post-coital glow (it rarely happens).

This isn’t to say that you can’t find a boner fried hottie who tingles for the flingle. They’re around; they’re just better at concealing, even to themselves, any latent desire for a sexual romp. If you want to be both honest and noncommittal with a beauty, you’ll have a road ahead of you. If you can handle soft-shoeing your NSA message without having a moral crisis, then blazing a trail of microtears through HSMV women will be easier. Hotties are gonna need to see some feints away from pure sexual objectification. Of course, you’ll still want to make them work for your love.

“I’m dating around until I find that one woman I click with.”

PS *”Leading women on” is just another term for nonjudgmentalism. Men who don’t lead women on are, by necessity, more judgmental of the women they meet. Because in fact there is no such thing as true nonjudgmentalism; we’re all judging something about someone else at any given time. Hiding your judgmentalism is good for business if your business is persuading women to giveitaway.

PPS When a girl says ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term”, the best reply is one that assuages her fears and avoids supplication. That means, don’t jump on her beta bait with forceful vows of fidelity.

BAD:

“Oh, I’m definitely interested in the long term with you. I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.”

GOOD:

“Like you, I want the same things. But I can only answer that once I get to know you and spend time with you.”

Your long term interest is presumed but not guaranteed.

Maxim #45: If a girl isn’t working for your love, she’s making you work for hers. Better to be a love owner than a love laborer.





Comments


  1. Nice to know there are other people having the same problems like me

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    • hoez are always tryin to get me to be their BF…I got em on multiple continents; same story. They miss deez nutz.

      It’s hard for me to find a gd’d girl who just wants to be casual because I am like nobody they’ve ever met. But I just wish they would chill. This girl I only started banging a few weeks ago has already brought up kids and LTR shit. I am like whoaaaaa camel

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    • Great post….found this video of a kid driving a bugatti and straight up asking for sex (no talk/no drink just sex)…almost ALL the girls say yes xD

      Notice the fact that the good girl with boyfriend is ready to jump into his cock-car as well as the anti-slut DQ girls who says “im not a slut” then says “is this your car” and then jumps in

      Not necessarily eye opening but even to seasoned players…intimate cues to the vagina-tingleogoues

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  2. on November 17, 2014 at 2:03 pm Committee of 300

    Isn’t the point of becoming a successful player to make every woman you meet want to boyfriend you up?

    You can’t have it both ways, either boyfriend up, break hearts, or go beta.

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  3. CH, make your maxims pithier. #45: Always be chased.

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  4. H.H.’s gut instinct is correct here: Don’t become such a nihilist that you start telling lies – or even weaselly little half truths – to the poor girls in order to get them to spread their legs. In addition to spreading The Darkness in their hearts, you’d be allowing It to enter your own heart, as well.

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  5. “you’ll have a harder time finding many 8s or 9s interested in no-strings-attached sex. Contrary popular mythology, most funfunfun girls who’ll agree to what amounts to slutting it up are the wastoids, the desperate, and, if your game is good, the borderline cuties in the 5-7 range.”

    what is this I don’t even

    “This isn’t to say that you can’t find a boner fried hottie who tingles for the flingle. They’re around; they’re just better at concealing, even to themselves, any latent desire for a sexual romp. If you want to be both honest and noncommittal with a beauty, you’ll have a road ahead of you.”

    Shit’s changed. 10+ years ago this was probably accurate.

    But with social media being so widespread, where every fucking chode guy can on a whim send every clingy needy drunk desperate pathetic thought on his mind to girls and a dozen Likes and supplicative comments, a lot of girls (especially the hot ones since they get it the most) biggest complaint about men is how fucking needy and clingy guys are these days.

    There are a LOT more hotties looking for no-strings sex right now. Not because they ultimately want no-strings for the long-term, they’ll want to BF you up eventually and try to woo you into it, but they want to START at no-strings so you don’t join their huge herd of needy clingy orbiters.

    Like a guy who just wants to fuck them and ISN’T going to be 3 months of clingy needy drama is a RELIEF to girls. Sure they may want a BF eventually (whether they try to make you that BF or go find some nice beta bucks guy to try dating for a bit (till she realizes how bored she is when he’s a boring lay)), but they’re SO tired of every dick coming with a ton of strings attached to where they hook up once and then have to dodge the guy’s daily texts for months until he gets the hint and even then he’ll keep trying.

    A guy who’s too on his purpose to be a boyfriend instead of being just a big sad pathetic wreck searching for a girl to fill the open void in his heart to give his life meaning, is rare as fuck these days to girls. They LOVE meeting a guy like that. He’s actually a CHALLENGE and they’ll happily be down for no-strings sex with him because the other guy repulses them and causes way too much drama in their lives.

    Girls I’m with always show me texts they get from guys and they’re just the saddest most desperate lamest shit in the world and we lol at them together. And this is from guys who are rich and way better looking than me (I dig for info to find out about my competition lol). But they get a few beers in them, no girl wants to fuck them at the bar that night and here it is 2:30am and they’re texting desperate shit and confessing feelings and crap.

    At least before social media a guy had to embarrass himself in person or over an actual phonecall that takes some thought and lots of chances to back out before executing it…but these days it’s boom, 140 chars of desperation 10 seconds after it enters the guy’s head.

    For proof: go out and mack the 18-25yo range hotties and ask them about guys and if guys are clingy these days lol You’ll hear and see shit that will make you just embarrassed for our entire gender.

    Having the self-control NOT to text a girl drunk at midnight on a Friday night and to NOT Like her attention-whoring Facebook pics etc. makes you stand out like crazy these days…esp to the really hot girls who get endless amounts of that shit.

    Hell, girls these days practically finish my sentences for me when I go into my shpiel about keeping things casual. I blame/thank feminism lol

    Go approach the hottest girls with a casual sex frame. They’ll be a lot more receptive these days than they probably were 10+ years ago.

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    • on November 17, 2014 at 3:29 pm Committee of 300

      Reminds me of something I read in teh book “Generation Me”. Was a fairly decent expose on how teens and young adults of today are so radically different then 10 years ago.

      Kids don’t “date” anymore. They “hook up”. Seems freaking weird but apparently honest-to-goodness-courting is a thing of the past. And I’ll second the notion that there is a terrific lack of assertive men in general, especially in the sub 30 year old range, so that a 20 year old HB runs across one it’s tingle city.

      With all of that said, it’s still the moral dilemma of using someone. I’m no natural but I do believe that the 100’s of women that have slept with the two naturals I do know were only in it because of tingles, not hopes of tying him/them down.

      Or in other words, the entire concept of “I hate to lie” is in and of itself a gigantic tingle destroyer. The naturals I know that are lusted after by women wouldn’t think twice about lying to any of them and I do believe that is part of the allure.

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      • [Kids don’t “date” anymore. They “hook up”. ]

        Yup. And I have to agree the tipping point of the trend started ~10 years ago.

        You don’t ask a girl out on a date: you meet up or hang out or do something…and hook up.

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    • “Not because they ultimately want no-strings for the long-term, they’ll want to BF you up eventually and try to woo you into it, but they want to START at no-strings so you don’t join their huge herd of needy clingy orbiters.”

      how do we get them to not enter the woo-in stage and be okay with no-strings no-cling for an extended period?

      “Go approach the hottest girls with a casual sex frame.”

      how would you change the approach for married guys?

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      • For married guys – just be sure to wear a ring. Boom. Done. You are not boyfriend material. Your cards are on the table. You become in a sense riskless to them. Total secret society vibe if you can hold your frame.

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    • > “You’ll hear and see shit that will make you just embarrassed for our entire gender.” YR, I’m seeing this too and it’s terrifying for the future of Western Civilization and the White Race. Everywhere I go now, as soon as I enter a group and it’s clear that I’m masculine and that I know how to talk to girls [and that I don’t lisp my s’s as though they were th’s!] the girls start clinging to me like metal shavings on a magnet. Even the married CHRISTIAN chicks, which is pretty horrifying for a dude who takes all that “what God hath joined together let no man put asunder” shiznat very very seriously.

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      • I know one Anglican girl [a hot saucy little number with a high IQ] who went out on a date with an Evangelical boy, and he confessed to her that he had never kissed a girl, and it so sickened her that she could never bear to see him again. [I also know the gorgeous Evangelical girl he is now dating, and jesus christ she must be desperate – she once told me that in college she only encountered obnoxious fratty baggers and gheys – no “normal” boys at all.]

        And I just barely know another smoking hawt little Evangelical girl, with a very tight body, deeply religious, teaches at a church school, who just called off her wedding, and I’m very worried that it might have been on account of something that I had said to her [warning her not to go through with it if she had any doubts at all].

        It’s as though these poor girls can’t find ANY masculine boys to date, much less to marry.

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      • @zombie Shane
        “Any masculine boys” lolz, ur werdz r emasculating

        If I hear a chick refer to me as “boy”, I quickly correct them

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    • There have always been hotties who wanted d1ck just because–even several decades ago. I had a fling with one and afterwards she said we’d have to avoid each other for a bit to cool off. She was right. This was before texting. I called her a couple of times even so, lol. I was 19 and she was my first, what can I say?

      Oh btw, avoid dancing too much with one woman or bonding becomes an issue. It sucks. I wasn’t careful and didn’t use protection, lol. Protection, in this case, means “don’t dance so much with one woman, moron.” That’s twice I did it with her, lol. I figured out that it’s her angle for getting her favorite dance partners hooked on dancing with her. She gets to dance a lot with some of the best leads and she’s quite good at following.

      Ya, I know I’m bonded and can fight it, but it’s still fakking annoying. The good thing is that I know that she’s got it much worse, lolz. I tell her she’d better dance fun, not boring, and she readily complies.

      So I don’t text her, chat with her, etc. and don’t act like a chode.

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    • Having the self-control NOT to text a girl drunk at midnight on a Friday night and to NOT Like her attention-whoring Facebook pics etc. makes you stand out like crazy these days…esp to the really hot girls who get endless amounts of that shit.

      Heh, leave a comment how her old pic looked so much better.

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    • @YaReally Interestingly enough I have no problem banging girls. I do have a problem keeping them. They often send mixed messages wanting to be in a relationship then not etc etc.

      The “Boyfriend Zone” I think is mis-characterized here. I think it’s not about finding a guy they want a relationship with, I think it’s a guy they can “CONTROL”.

      Let’s be real, in the Blue Pill world relationship roles have shifted with the girl being the one controlling the relationship and the guy haplessly following along, giving up his guy’s nights out, his friends, etc while he goes picking out drapes or holding her purse while she shops at Zara.

      I think OP is not sexualizing his interactions early enough. It used to be a problem for me. Now I make it clear from the start that I’m interested in you as a woman, sexually, I’m a man you’re a woman.

      This dynamic has worked very well. The girls fall hard quickly…or disappear quickly.

      Women don’t want a “boyfriend”…they want a guy that gives them attention who they don’t have to put out for. Emphasis on “Friend”.

      Now that I have a few girls on the go I’m in a better position to assess different girl’s behaviors and my own.

      All the girls like my attention and hanging out. Banging is part of the deal—every time or nearly every time.

      Also the fact the girl is making it clear they want a “Serious relationship” and a “boyfriend” is warning sign of Cluster B/BPD. IF they are serious about finding a guy they won’t be rushing things and trying to control.

      Crazy ex was immediately talking about wanting to get “serious” and then 2 weeks later was distancing and breaking up.

      Latest one was up for anything and then without notice suddenly pulled away because we were “too close”. Then posted on FB some nonsense about missing her ex bf and hoping she finds a good guy….ahem.

      The “Boyfriend Zone” is a red flag.

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    • @Yareally

      When in doubt, AWALT

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    • had ex-gf over last wknd. bitch drove 5 1/2 hours. went ok.
      she has lots of guy-friends who are 180 who i am, so i dont like hearing it and was reactive to it..

      plowed a lot…we’re not comfotable w eachother until its morning.. its wierd..

      texted me the night we parted that “Im laying here try to sleep but I can’t.

      I need you beside me”

      its a volatile relationship. who knows

      shes moving to toronto in jan. its an hour move. it may get rid of some filth, though unlikely.

      she made mention that we’re not a couple it – in a non butthurt defensive tone. so what this is, is fuck buddies, me being the “man i look up to, my king” (her words on my bday card)

      my ‘relationship’ is such a fucking chess match that nothing aside from the hatefucking is real anymore

      some days later I send a text saying I got the pink ribbon she left in my suitcase. 6 hrs later i sent it again, because the reception is shit here.

      she replied ” Hey sorry I left my
      Phone at home, I close
      Tonight. Good to hear.”

      me: that sent twice @ diff times didnt it

      me: good to hear..? ok..wuts up carly

      …nothing..

      today 15 mins ago

      me: ok…why r u ignoring me

      her: I’m not ignoring you,
      Sorry I’m in Toronto looking for a place and I have just been busy.

      me: did you receive my txts after u txted me last night

      her: Yes, i was sleeping.
      As I was leaving to come here with my rents at 9

      me: sounds like youre overwhelmed w everything in ur life. that i can understand, but not replying to my txts shows me another side i dont have time for.

      once you sort your shit out, drop me a line, maybe ill be around

      later

      her: Okay thrust

      its fucked because last week she drove 6 hrs to see me. it went well enough for her to text she cant sleep without me…

      6 days later… and this
      i feel like a dick for acting the way i did, and i wanna know why she was being distant/indifferent

      think i could pull off a nonchalant text to her? Something to recover from the neediness I displayed earlier?

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      • @thrust you don’t want help dude. STILL talking about your ex, jesus…

        Yareally already told you what to do: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/08/22/a-test-of-your-game-13/#comment-610758

        “think i could pull off a nonchalant text to her? Something to recover from the neediness I displayed earlier?”

        You can’t cuz you’re mindset is fucked up. But you don’t want to hear that so good luck complaining about the same chick over and over again

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      • @Thrust I’ve done all this stuff at different times. This doesn’t sound very healthy at all The “Why are you ignoring me?” text by you…that’s the place to stop you yourself.

        You’re panicking, you’re caring way too much.

        I’ve written at great lengths about my situation with crazy ex gf. It’s done.

        Just had a chick act weird to me 2 weeks ago. One text calling out her crap—not asking her why—telling her she was out of line. Then on to new things.

        I know what it’s like. But you’re digging a hole for yourself. But you probably know that.

        You have to quit this like you would any bad habit. It’s going to hurt your game, your dignity, your self-worth.

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      • @thrust “think i could pull off a nonchalant text to her? Something to recover from the neediness I displayed earlier?”

        No, and in fact you should ignore her when she texts you again, or at least take a few days to reply. Trust me, even if she has feelings for you, she knows she has you on a string and that’s not good. She’ll look up to you a lot more if she’s the one clamoring for your attention, not the other way around.

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    • “Girls I’m with always show me texts they get from guys and they’re just the saddest most desperate lamest shit in the world and we lol at them together.”

      For sure. And even more hilarious and sickening is when you’re lying in bed next to her, your nut is crusted on her face and the sheets are damp…and she’s punching away txting some fool.

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  6. @YaReally: “Go approach the hottest girls with a casual sex frame. They’ll be a lot more receptive these days than they probably were 10+ years ago.” What if they’re the hot waitresses where you always go and you don’t want to ruin your #1 spot, but damn they get your dick rising? If shit ever went sour, I wouldn’t want to find a new favorite spot.

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    • you wouldn’t need to find a new favorite spot if they were to get fired for some strange, unrelated reason.

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    • If it ends, just parade your new catch at your still number 1 fav spot !

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      • on November 17, 2014 at 4:05 pm Committee of 300

        Uhh I don’t recommend that. My waitress went bat shit when I did it. On second thought, next time I saw her she wanted me more then ever.

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    • lol. i learned that lesson the hard way like 10 times.

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      • Elaborate on that.

        And no, I just want a cool way to tell them, “Hey, I’d bang you, but I don’t want to ruin my favorite spot,” in a non-needy, slyish-grin manner. Of course, If I told them that, they’d probably want to bang me more.

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      • dont hunt in your zip code, dont hunt in your zip code, dont hunt in your zip code, dont hunt in your zip code.

        if you got a main girl or wife and want to fuck around, keep it 2 zip codes away.

        there is no cool way to not fuck up your local watering hole (unless its a bar in a huge college town).

        bitches talk, just make sure it isnt about you or if it has to be, its good. don’t play to type. muthafuckaaa….. 😉

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  7. Somewhat off topic, how would you game a woman who is in the 8-9 range but extremely introverted and shy and kind of nerdy besides her looks?

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  8. “But only the best women — read: the hottest — have reasonable expectations of achieving both goals.”

    this is why it’s so hard to build a harem of exclusive hot women. they don’t want to share.

    reading about that hedge fund guy in the middle of the divorce where all his dirty laundry is being aired really brings it home. he’s a rich apex predator and still has to go to vegas and pay hookers for threesomes or swap his wife to get some good hot strange.

    it’s easy enough to get the hotties interested, but once they find out you’re married they get super pissed.

    please everyone share stories of honest exclusive harem success when it didn’t blow up in your face a.k.a. how to get put in the boyfriend zone by several HOT women at the same time.

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  9. I’d suggest checking out goodlookingloser.com. Chris there has an extended piece about this in his fuck buddy retention piece. He calls it an issue of being ‘boyfriend material’ versus having ‘boyfriend potential’. While I have a ton of respect for CH, I think GLL nailed this one a bit better.

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  10. I need to know that you’re interested in the long term

    I never shut an attractive young women down for this, or one that is older that I see as fun for a night or two. I’m not going to see her again, so what do I care what I say to seal the deal? But I’m always honest – “Well, I have to know that something would last for the long term, and I’m a firm believer that the MOST important part of any relationship is sexual compatibility, followed by communication, etc…” I don’t come out and say – “forget that”. Women usually use that line to remove the thought that they are a slut – so you have to make it, OK for them to spread their legs quickly. Of course, you don’t want to waste too much time on any one, you’ve told her what you want – SEX. So the next step is on her – if she comes with you, you’re getting some, if not, it’s best to not waste a lot of time.

    Now, generally older ones want that – after all, I’m 50+ so if I want the 18 y.o for a night or two – I don’t want her to think it’s anything but fun. Although more than a few have stuck around for a couple of years. But the key is to make sure that they are the ones pursuing and trying to win you. Never go the other way – of course, the young ones you want to tell them you aren’t looking for anything long term. Just like the women with boyfriends, or those who are married. They want a slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am… They don’t want a guy that is going to be inconvenient…

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  11. on November 17, 2014 at 4:05 pm aingot nuffins

    OT: Charles Manson gets marriage license.

    “CORCORAN, Calif. (AP) — Mass murderer Charles Manson has gotten a license to marry a 26-year-old woman who visits him in prison.”

    “The Kings County marriage license, viewed Monday by The Associated Press, was issued Nov. 7 for the 80-year-old Manson and Afton Elaine Burton, who left her Midwestern home nine years ago and moved to Corcoran, California”

    Like


  12. Hey, should I try dating an alpha? I’m 32 and looking for a husband. A very alpha guy is trying to sleep with me. I don’t know if he wants more. He’s sexy. He has no college degree and is in a rock band. His voice is very compelling. Supposedly he has around a million dollars in savings due to an inheritance but since he has no degree and a work history as a musician, he has limited ability to earn a steady income. I don’t know if that means I shouldn’t consider him as father of my children material. Should I spend any time on this guy? I do like him. Or at least I am attracted to him.

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    • > “I am attracted to him” Because he has a sexy voice and he CLAIMS to be sitting on a million dollars? FX, I don’t even feel like lecturing you on how asinine that sounds. Just get off the damned birth control pill and get yourself knocked up by SOMEBODY.

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    • You? Have children? At your age? Good luck with that. 😉

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    • Well you can try to date him, but your best bet is just submit yourself to him(read: tell him how you feel). Dominant males appreciate meekness. In these times when women treat men like they are from venus and act like they are from Mars, that might spark enough attraction for him to want more. Though, if he can do much better than you, the chances aren’t great it will work in your favor.

      Either that, or just enjoy it while it lasts.

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    • little spoon,

      We should approach it as any women would with a 100 point bullet list and if he fails any of the 100 questions he is disqualified. You do not want to make a list longer than 100 questions because any more and it would be unrealistic for any man to meet the requirements. Do not worry about your age 30′ are the new 20′.

      1. Is he over 6′ tall?
      2. How much is he making? Not that money matters to women, I mean you can always find a job and help out.
      3.Is he widely read?
      4. Did he volenteer and help poor children if Africa?
      5. Does he own a home or a condo?
      6. What kind of car does he drive?
      7. Do you like his shoes?
      8……
      Keep going and complete the list I’m sure you get the point, and guys could help out complete the list.

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    • ls: “A very alpha guy is trying to sleep with me. I don’t know if he wants more.”

      What ‘more’ is there?

      Men can get everything a woman offers, except sex, from other men.

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    • “I don’t know if that means I shouldn’t consider him as father of my children material.”

      Right, because surely the millionaire rock star will consider some used up 32 year old as the mother of his children…

      This was written as satire, right? If so, it’s really well done, because it hits all the right notes and could be real, but on the other hand, really lays it on thick – the over-the-hill girl ‘looking for a husband’ and yet still waffling over a millionaire rock star as if she deserves so much better. God I hope you’re not real, because if so, that’s just fucking terrible.

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    • Try dating his dad …

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    • lmfao…..to those of you taking her seriously, try reading her blog. she’s all sorts of certifiable cuckoo.

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  13. ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term”

    There was a girl not so long ago that I wished had asked me that question. The honest answer would have been:
    Of course I’m interested (in the long term) who wouldn’t, with a butt like yours??
    But(t) I need to get to know you better, to be sure you’re not mental.

    How would you rate such an answer?

    Like


    • I’d flip it. “Everybody’s interested in the long term. But first you’ll have to get to know me better, to be sure I’m not just in it for a quick fling and really hot sex.” Then smirk at her.

      Like


      • Thanks, but rather than qualify myself, I’d have her qualify herself. But it’s true that this is an opportunity to mention hot sex, so let me rephrase my answer:
        “Of course I’m interested (in the long term) who wouldn’t, with a butt like yours??
        But I need to get to know you better, to be sure you’re not just interested in hot sex.”
        This should set her head spinning: “if he is interested in my butt, why is he afraid of being dumped after sex?”

        Like


      • “if he is interested in my butt, why is he afraid of being dumped after sex?” Making her think you might be afraid of getting dumped is like shooting yourself in the foot. Fear is the a attraction killer.

        Personally, I’d just look her in the eye, give a sly smirk and proceed to kiss her. Often with shit tests, you pass without words and it leaves less room for error. The key to this is holding your frame and turning down the jerkishness enough to not seem like your blowing her off, but rather you agree with her in some way.

        Like


    • “Oh baby, we could step off the wrong curb any time…life’s so fleeting…we need to grab it with both hands and live it to the max!”

      Like


    • when i want to avoid my inborn beta instincts i go with something along the lines of “yeah absolutely, we’re going to need some time to figure out if we hate each other”

      it works well in that the adversarial position keeps things more sexual, and at worst she usually expresses what she’s really feeling. bonus is i haven’t made an unforced error blurting out “oh god you’re so beautiful i love you so much”

      Like


  14. This has been up almost three hours.
    Where’s the obligatory Zombie Shane “put a bun in her oven” comment?

    Like


  15. I’m new in town (Seoul) and working CL heavily. I’m clear that I’m a short-timer (one or two years). I’m getting more tang from women 25 to 30 years younger than me than I can schedule. It helps that I’m taller than Korean men and a confident American, well-dressed, with disposable income. They seem to appreciate more mature men too.

    I do indeed want to make a boyfriend/girlfriend situation and I make that clear! Why? That way we can dispense with the condoms and increase her reliability. Plus she’ll be better trained to please me in bed and out.

    I say I’m not interested in “one night stands” but that every love affair/romance starts with a “first night stand.” I’m also clear that I’m seeing a variety of other women. Consequently, I get plenty of ONS then let them down gently when they don’t meet my standards (ie I think I can do better.)

    Naturally, I’ll reach the point where SMV demand crosses SMV supply. Then I’ll expect her to be my girlfriend and she can expect me to be her boyfriend. Then I’ll move without her – boo hoo.

    Like


    • “I do indeed want to make a boyfriend/girlfriend situation and I make that clear! Why? That way we can dispense with the condoms and increase her reliability.”

      “I’m clear that I’m a short-timer (one or two years).”

      lol. You won’t be a short-timer when she “forgets” her birth control. If you’re a high-value guy and you’re pitching a BF/GF situ, she’s going to be trying to lock you down any way possible. The higher value you are, the more paranoid you should be about using condoms and shit.

      Hope you like changing diapers lol

      Like


      • Been there, done that – classic Southern Shotgun Wedding at age 17. Married her and had three sons by her – all excellent men of whom I’m very proud. I kicked her out and raised them myself – didn’t hurt my sex life either. Kept me from getting drafted for Vietnam too (draft # 13 in the 1969 lottery.)

        They do have morning after pills here so its about $30 USD for the doctor and the pill.

        The women I’m seeing are all 30 and older so there’s less of that game playing. I can leave the country for another in a few days if I want. Plus, the divorce isn’t final yada yada yada.

        But still a wise reminder YaReally

        Like


    • shhhh…the other guy in china doesn’t realize that he’s not really a PUA, he’s just a white american in asia

      Like


  16. in case you need confirmation that the jez crowd is actually made up of a bunch of crybaby losers and not cute girls with interesting social lives, please check it: http://jezebel.com/saturday-night-social-i-am-on-a-hunk-hunt-1659235689.

    as it turns out, jez has a weekly article known as “saturday night social.” at this social, they post some asinine video (like the example in the above-link) and then give each other updates about their lives and problems. these women are ever bit as vapid and pathetic as you might expect. their lives are full of unimportant (non)problems, self-doubt, and over-prescription of prescription medication. some great examples:

    “I know that second approach is not effective with my mom and just leads to fighting but I can’t tamp it down in the moment. What do I do??? Do I take this off Jez and take it to a therapist??? It just feels silly to see someone because I think my mom is annoying.”

    “So. I am here to give an update about what happened last week when I fled from my emotionally abusive boyfriend.”

    “But half of me has a crush on him and half of me… kind of really dislikes him? He’s really nice, and supports equality for women, but he flirts with other women a lot (I have no idea if he likes me back) and I kind of resent that.”

    “I’m thinking about becoming an escort. And by “thinking”, I mean a got hired by an agency and my photoshoot is Monday.”

    “Also, as a feminist I find it quite hard to get along with people who don’t have a minimal amount of critical thinking. Like I don’t expect people to have the same opinions as I do, but I like people who at least have an own opinion which is not necessarily what the mainstream believes. So for instance I’d love to find a group of friends/people where it’s just normal that sexist jokes are not ok due to some respect, or where women are not called sluts for enjoying sex etc. (this is just what I experienced last WE, an evening full of sexism and sexist jokes with people who I thought have some minimal eduaction…) any ideas how I could meet such people? I’m clueless :(”

    “Do any of you have advice on how to maintain weight when you’re taking antidepressants so you don’t get out-of-control weight gain and how can I get my libido back?”

    “My estranged father just sent me a picture of my 6 y/o niece standing next to a deer carcass in the room where I was raped the first time. Virtual hugs, please?”

    and, the coup de grace:

    “I’m a lurker on here and rarely post. I just wanted to say that sometimes, reading this on Saturday nights helps me feel less alone. Thanks internet people I’ll never meet in real life!”

    the point of my comment is that you really ought to keep in mind who our enemy is. these people are truly intellectual and emotional children.

    Like


    • “My estranged father just sent me a picture of my 6 y/o niece standing next to a deer carcass in the room where I was raped the first time. Virtual hugs, please?”

      What the f…?

      These women are messed up in the head. Lo and behold, one becoming a prostitute, another on anti-depressants and getting fatter, they are seeing therapists and “fleeing” abusive boyfriends, etc etc. And of course they are not lying about anything and it’s never their fault. Feminists just happen to fall into deep holes in the ground over and over again without it being their fault.

      Like


      • “and “fleeing” abusive boyfriends,”

        ’emotionally’ abusive. He isn’t bearing his guts – which she would hate if he did.

        Like


  17. on November 17, 2014 at 5:41 pm Oliver Cumwell

    So, this piece is great timing. As a married dude (bad sex @ and found out about 6 months ago she cheated in the past) I decided I’m going to unapologetically sow my oats for awhile. Have had okay luck, but not great. A few bangs here and there. Travel to London a lot for business and usually for extended periods — 1 to 2 weeks.

    Two things: I don’t lie… 1) If they ask me if I’m married I say yes. I want the cards on the table up front. 2) I’m getting incredible interest from girls in their early 20s, but in the past two occasions they’ve completely flaked.

    Girl 1: Flirty little bartender at one of my favorite pubs in London. Getting the craziest IOIs I’ve ever had. She’s fidgety and nervous as hell every time I come in for a drink. Stays at my end of the bar all night talking to me. Playing with her hair, the whole 9. I invite her over. She comes to my corporate apartment before her shift one night. Shit tests me hard “you’re married”, “you’re a player”. We make out briefly but then she bails for work. Texts me the next day that she had wet dreams about me all night. That she’s hot for me, etc. Late night text inviting me to meet her out at a bar — I had other plans and didn’t text her until the next day and she had to work. Back and forth texting like this for awhile and then crickets.

    Girl 2: 28 year old hottie I’ve gotten to know. See her on the street one day and she runs up and gives me a big hug. She invites ME to dinner. Last minute dinner meeting with a client so cancel one date and she texts me again the next day to reschedule… So I figure I’m golden. We go out for dinner and drinks and I dial up the sexualized convo big time. She’s flirty as hell and totally into it. Trashes her boyfriend repeatedly over dinner. Walk back to my apartment and she even hints that she wants to come up for some water. Probably blow it here as I got cold feet and we go to the little store outside my apartment instead. Don’t see her for about a month and travel back to London. See her on the street again and she AGAIN says we should go to dinner. Tell her to come by my place for a drink first… She comes by, we have a glass of wine, huge IOI’s and flirting so I move in hard for the kiss and get blown out. She says she’d never mess around with a married guy.

    I’d heard that some young single women will go hard for married dudes, and I’m definitely giving off the bad boy vibe, but seem to be hitting LMR in a really big way. It couldn’t be more clear to me that they are interested, but something’s spooking them at the last minute.

    Like


    • dude…get them drunker. Is this so hard? Alcohol removes ASD and all other inhibitions. If that doesn’t work, try real drugs (I don’t mean roofie her lol)

      Yeah I know, you want her to choose you of free will and all that…women are like effing birds that cannot get out of their own way. They WANT you to get them drunk so that they can get over THEMSELVES. This shit is why alcohol was invented in the first place.

      A single glass of wine wasn’t enough. Next time, a whole bottle and then some. Then just aggressively move in and start kissing her.

      Then the 2nd date if there is one won’t be so hard. Once they’ve put out once, if it’s good, they will keep coming back.

      Like


    • This is so obvious I’m surprised you don’t see it yourself guy.
      NEVER tell them you’re married! Tell them divorced/seperated whatever! Duh!
      Don’t even tell them your real name and only give them your prepaid burner number or just go around shooting yourself in the foot over and over again..

      Like


    • That’s some tight game bro’s! You should write a book.

      Like


      • game?!??! I ain’t got time for no games, kid, I would rather spend my time banging hoez. You spergs should just use Coke Game. Why spend valuable time reciting bullshit lines to a mirror when you can just dial an 8-ball?

        Like


      • “That’s some tight game bro’s! You should write a book.”

        Thanks for the reassurance, we were beginning to doubt ourselves.

        Like


  18. if a woman feels safe and attracted, she will bang ya.

    if she trusts ya, she will “usually” seek a relationship as well.

    be like Ya, he is the man on this….never demonstrate that you are trustworthy…keep it casual, light, fun. good emotions, not obligation.

    Like


    • If you’re single, sure. If you’re married, you need plausible deniability about your potential untrustworthiness. Her hamster needs to convince her that you’re trustworthy even while you’re practicing Soft Dread. It’s a contradictory Gordian knot, sure–welcome to a woman’s mind.

      When a woman hits you with her insecurity tests, maintain your emotional frame and provide comfort–not rationalized logic about why she should trust you. Tell her she’s you’re no. 1 gf–even wives like this. Cuddle with her. Sing to her. Read poetry to her. Watch some smarmy chick flick with her. Write some dodgy poetry addressed to her.

      Like


      • lol. nah man. not even with my main chick am I gonna do ANY of that pussy shit. best she gets is a hug or even a smile.

        its incongruent for me and always has been, but maybe not a beta. who knows.

        Like


      • “Her hamster needs to convince her that you’re trustworthy even while you’re practicing Soft Dread… Tell her she’s you’re no. 1 gf–even wives like this.

        total agreement here. when a side girl knows you’re married or in a serious LTR, she will be on guard about trusting you (with good reason) so making her feel like she’s special is key. she wants to think you only cheat with her because she’s so great. not that you’re a serial cheater who bangs any girl who stumbles into his path.

        the number 1 girlfriend thing is right on. some girls have no problem accepting that they are the side girl who will always come in second to a wife or LTR because she can justify your cheating by saying to herself that the wife treats you wrong or that you’re with her out of obligation or whatever.

        and some girls will even be okay knowing you have other side girls from time to time but if you want a side girl to stick around, you need to make her feel like she is THE side girl. the important one who made a loyal man stray. the one you prefer over other girls. she wants and needs to feel special so she doesn’t have to think of you as a disloyal cad who bangs anything with tits.

        Like


  19. what no more RSD videos.. now that they have proven themselves to be ..hmm whats that word they use..”uncalibrated”.. or as us men like to call them immature dorks with a twisted unhealthy pov.. if there was any balls behind this website .. they post about it .. call them out.. dudes are lame.. funny to watch them self destruct..

    mystery was an artist

    Like


    • They’ll be back to business as usual in a few weeks.

      Here’s the full CNN transcript, note that when they edited the video they left out everything about teaching calibration and watching for consent and backing off etc., which he stresses like 8 different times. Doesn’t fit the narrative. This is why anyone thinking them releasing statements etc. would help is naive, the media will pick and choose what fits the narrative:

      http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1411/17/nday.04.html

      The only people self-destructing are the ones who ran around like chickens with their heads cut off over this. Unbelievable how unstable guys are, it’s been like watching a bunch of emotional women gossiping in a Jezebel comment section lol

      Wrote a larger new post about Julien’s appearance and why RSD will be just fine here:

      https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/11/16/thought-experiment-the-alpha-male/#comment-631978

      I think a lot of the guys freaking out either haven’t run a large pickup company (ie – more than selling a few eBooks) or don’t really understand what RSD teaches or how exactly they market their products or how their business model works. If they were a traditional company like McDonald’s or Apple, ya, they would be toast. But all they need to do is get the public eye off them and it’s back to doing what they do. Even if they put out a new offensive video, the entire world will never combine like this to raise a fuss to anywhere near this extent. Everyone has already blown their outrage activism load signing all the petitions. Julien’s not deleted off Twitter forever (he’s not even deleted, he just set his account to private), his content isn’t deleted off YouTube, even if it was it would just be hosted elsewhere. They just need to put out some lower-key safer content for a month or two till no one’s really paying attention and it’s back to normal minus purposely goading the media lol

      The people who are like “omg they insulted their customers by calling them socially awkward!!” don’t seem to realize that those guys KNOW they’re socially awkward, that’s why they googled RSD in the first place, they’re working on being less awkward lol It’s like how 4/8chan admits being a bunch of austistic nerds and celebrate it and don’t care what society thinks, they aren’t trying to win the mainstream’s approval like the Manosphere keeps crying over (“please, just LOVE us mainstream media!!” lol PUAs don’t give a shit about mainstream approval that’s your guys’ department, like the mainstream will ever approve of half the articles on ROK or any of the racist shit in the Manosphere. We just do our thing and help guys improve their lives, doesn’t matter if CNN hates us).

      Tyler has a bunch of videos about hardcase newbies and people who are fucked up awkward and weird, no one is offended by that anymore than saying “fat people come to our gym ’cause we get results” is going to offend their customers who self-identify as fatties coming to their gym saying “I’m a fatty, help me!”

      No one will give a shit about any of this a few weeks from now lol But Bill Cosby’s rape allegations and Mama June’s dating her own childs’ molestor will keep being written about because they keep engaging the MSM.

      Gotta’ relax and chill instead of losing your shit in a crisis, just like in-field when a group of women is chirping at you because you said something that offended them.

      Like


    • Your rambling post makes sense in your head I’m sure, Piñata.

      Like


      • sure it makes sense .. ya really promotes that RSD crap here all the time .. it is “dorkville squirrel looking for a nut..winning the race down the toilet game” Julien and Tyler are douche squared

        did you read Julien’s twitter feed and tinder routine..worse than bad – an insult to the art of being a man who enjoys women on his own terms

        Like


      • Wow, are those Tinder screens for real? I had better “game” than that when I was a lovesick naive little boy. And that Twitter feed is so transparent; a confused insecure manchild with emotional problems making an ostentatious show of how alpha and outré he is. This is what our modern society has wrought.

        Like


  20. Notice the Jew media goes out of its way to show white brainwashed race traitors in this and all similar photos:

    http://m.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2014/1117/Ahead-of-grand-jury-Missouri-prepares-for-decision-on-Ferguson-shooting

    How stupid do they think we are? it is obvious that they sit around in the editorial room literally saying “now we have to find a photograph that has white people in it.” And then heeee heeee heeee evil laugh.

    And any white faggots who show up at such a protest meeting are dumbe as fucking shit. Do they think any stupid fucking black person cares one fucking shit about them?

    Whites are under attack.

    Like


  21. Women see men as nothing more than a safety net and a path up the social ladder. They use men’s shallow and weak ego and self-esteem to their financial advantage. Men are morons.

    If she can get the financial part on her own, she’s going to go after younger, poorer, more fit and horny men. Why? For the same reason older, wealthier men go after younger, poorer women. It’s all about finance, control and sex, people. Men and women are the same. The only difference between the two is who controls the wealth and power. Laws are being rewritten to give women the power. You’re all such fools.

    You boys don’t get it, do you?

    Just remember one thing and you’ll live a happy life: Never give a woman power over any aspect of your life. What does this mean? You figure it out. Most of you will fall at a woman’s knees.

    Like


    • This would be clearer to those who read here if they were from South America, Russia, or Hong Kong.

      Like


    • It’s all about finance, control and sex, people. Men and women are the same. The only difference between the two is who controls the wealth and power. Laws are being rewritten to give women the power. You’re all such fools.

      You boys don’t get it, do you?

      Yes, Evil Creatures all.

      Funny how hoodrats and incels sound the same when they talk about women. One group gets close only to ‘hood women, the other gets close to no one.

      Like


    • “If she can get the financial part on her own, she’s going to go after younger, poorer, more fit and horny men.”

      I don’t think it works both ways. Guys like Rupert Murdoch can get a much younger woman, but how many “younger, poorer, more fit and horny men” would go for, say, Janet Yellen, regardless of how rich she was?

      Like


  22. I may not be Mr. Right, baby, but I’ll fuck you til he gets here.

    Like


  23. Sluttery is the plain girl’s bus fare to AlphaTown.

    The hot girls live there, but the plain Janes are only daytrippers.

    Like


  24. on November 17, 2014 at 9:48 pm Alex Jones SuperFan

    What a degenerate. This is a step away from faggotry. Only a God can save us from this New World Order nightmare…

    Like


  25. on November 17, 2014 at 11:44 pm Mean Mr. Mustard

    A fundamental way of determining of how high value/apha you are is how often you get preselected or get IOI’s (indications of interest) from women and the quality of women that this is coming from (HB level, sanity level etc).

    Getting preselection from low value women (e.g. HB 3-5 fatties) tends to be a warning sign that you need to lift your game as these women probably think that they have a chance to get with you.

    Being man that is getting preselected or given attention/IOI’s from HB 7+ women is an ideal of where one wants to be.
    It certainly beats having to work your ass off in a given context (bar, club, social event) battling against all the other guys for the overly entitled women.

    With preselection, all you have to do is not fuck it up and have your logistics worked out.

    Like


    • This is somewhat true. Style can make a difference, and musculature/physique. But ioi’s from lower value girls are the same as ioi’s from low value guys (guys not getting laid/game savvy). Women who are not inundated with attention (lmv) are not socialized in the same way as the foxes. And so they don’t consciously withhold their ioi’s as much, due to the fact that they have to work harder for the interest of men. The hotter the girl, I’ve noticed that the ioi’s on average become much much more subtle. Girls with high smv, even if they are decent people, have an ego from years of daily interest from men, and so to spot a guy they are attracted to, they become reluctant to show it. It would be beneath them, in their mind, to fawn over a guy after just seeing him. Ioi’s from fuglies are just like desperate salesman, or bums trying to wash your windshield. They don’t have as much of an ego to preserve and so they have not been conditioned to be as coy.

      Like


    • Looks at it like a continuum. Hotties to dregs, a sliding scale of increasingly transparent interest towards high value guys. I operate on the belief that women are all the same internally, from fatties to hotties…in terms of what they want. But the coyness level fluctuates depending on the ego of the girl, and whether she has any incentive to be more obvious about that interest. Girls with unlimited options have much less incentive to take any particular guy seriously. This is why the hurdle into their reality can be so difficult, but also why it can be so lethal to set yourself apart, once you’ve breached her defenses.

      Like


    • I guess it depends on what your objectives are. I’m a thrill of the hunt type. Above average in looks, some wealth, I’ve found I was relying entirely too much on iois. Both subtle and obvious. Things became too predictable. A solid 7 was my go to sure thing, one longer than normal look, or a break eye contact and look down from one of these and boom. I was straight over to them. Cocky, assured, perfect body language and slick game flowed effortesly. Mad attraction spikes. Deep rapport. It got to the point I was 3 or 4 moves ahead , and could predict almost perfectly how they would react.

      So I decided to change things up. Try more day game, which if you are not looking to number farm is really hard, and do more cold approaches of 8 and 9s (when around not too many 9s in the wild outside of known venues ) and mixed sets with no iois… Same guy but now my game was stilted and confidence low, easy routines became hard and unpredictable , Kino calibration off…. I was stuck in my head thinking to much. Has been a real learni g experience.

      The hardest part is giving up the fun, the comfort of the known, the probable great interaction and outcome for more hard work and unpredictability and the likelihood of a less positive outcome. I’m just getting over this but it isn’t easy. Only the certainty of knowing another level awaits makes this juice worth the squeeze.

      So if you have grown comfortable try doing something different. Try day game cold approaches, or put a wedding ring on and pretend you are married, or go to different places with different girls and see how different your game is and becomes. It will be eye opening.

      Like


  26. OP here. Don’t worry: I have absolutely no moral issues with lying. It’s just that I’ve had some bad experiences with ”over-promising” and not calling back afterwards. Such as an angry, betrayed girl at my doorstep, seeking revenge. I did not remember giving her my address or full name. Who knows.

    Like


  27. Women are large children. No consequences for their actions. White knighting. Spot all the lessons.

    http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Woman-Sues-Miami-Beach-Police-After-Naked-Arrest-Over-Taxi-Dispute-283000081.html
    Dumb spoiled bitch partying slut goes out gets hammered doesn’t even have 16 bucks to pay the hard-working cabdriver security guard white knight her luxury apartment building pays cab. police did the right thing and arrested her. Lol

    Like


  28. Extremely good article–as are the links to the evidence. CH, thanks for the link.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/392831/modern-feminism-appalling-stupidity-backed-hysterical-rage-david-french

    Like


  29. Recently started dating a “borderline cutie” and she’s put me in something like husband zone
    She says she won’t associate with me if we aren’t dating, has admitted to checking some guy out but flips out if I do the same

    I’m good looking but I just lost my virginity and I don’t have a ton of friends, I want to use this girl (who I like as a person) to meet more people/girls, but I’d rather just be her fuck buddy
    After breaking up this girl will immediately start hitting up guys, in general I feel like she has the upper hand when we’re dating and I do when we’re not

    What do

    Like