The Ephemeral Few

There is no male equivalent to the female “five minutes of alpha” heart trap. Men simply don’t experience the same intense urge as women to constantly compare and contrast present lovers to past or potential future lovers. The hypergamous instinct, while technically a property of both sexes, is most pronounced in women. To reiterate why: Women have 400 viable eggs, men have billions of sperm.

However, wistful remembrance of old lovers, less an exercise in regret than in appreciation, does lay claim to frontier outposts of men’s hearts. The swell of erotic nostalgia will vary from man to man, and reach crest heights directly proportional to a man’s breadth of bedroom experience. The more women a man has lain and loved (and labored under), the greater his predilection to cynically scour his past for discarded perfection.

But it’s not the prettiest women in his past that such a man might fondly recall. Instead, it’s those “first movers” who move his memory. There is something lustfully osmotic about the late teenaged man’s brain that when permeated by the heartsmoke of that first or second lover seals the memory hard in neural carbonite. The ethereal aura surrounding one’s first love only vibrates stronger with passing years and passing lovers, until the enfeebling effect of old age finally defeats its crepuscular magnetism.

On that subject, reader Trainspotter eulogizes,

No matter how many girls you date/bang, when all is said and done, only a few will matter. Maybe only one. Everyone else is background noise. In time, you’ll literally forget almost all of them, as they are utterly irrelevant to anything you care about in life. But there will be a few Great Ones (yes, I’m stealing that from A Bronx Tale). You never forget them. Those are the ones you miss. Those are the ones that haunt!

Talk to a guy who’s banged two hundred girls, and ask him which ones were really important to him. He’ll probably give three names. Maybe a couple more, maybe a couple less. I could give five names that matter to me, but two stand out the most. Everything else is mere clutter. What the hell was her name? Who cares!

And here’s the bad news: chronologically, his top names will probably be mostly concentrated in the first ten percent, maybe twenty percent, of those conquests.

Something to think about. We often make the most intense connections when we are too immature to appreciate them, and most cavalier at throwing them aside. There is a paradox in there, somewhere, and also, I think, a lesson.

The searing chemical reaction of first loves requires two reagents: The unformed mind, and youth. Familiarity with the opposite sex may breed facility with them, but it also breeds ennui if one is not careful to exercise refinement of taste with the accumulating lessons. From the teens to mid 20s, men’s minds are ripe for imprinting, and the imprinting will be especially powerful in men with little prior romantic experience.

The other reagent, and the one Trainspotter hinted at, is sheer feminine youth. As teenagers, we men don’t appreciate the unearthly beauty of our female cohorts. Truly, a woman will never be as breathtakingly captivating as she is between the ages of 15 and 25 (and this range is skewed toward the younger age). A woman can still be beautiful well into her 30s, but as exquisitely beautiful as she was at 17? No. (The only exception to this rule with any practical significance is the obese teenage woman who loses the weight and transforms into the slender 28 year old yoga queen.)

The male appreciation for precious female youth doesn’t pick up steam until later in life, when younger women become more distant and older women more his dating partner norm. We as a species are cursed to value the good things in life with the clearest mind only in hindsight and when bedeviled by the less good things.

Imprinting + female youth = transcendent memories of first loves.

But there are other women who stir men’s longings, and who could properly rate alongside that first love. These are the women a man has just left behind, the nearest ghostly competitors to the woman he is now dating. Recent conquests linger in men’s thoughts because of their freshness, and if they were (at times) true loves, there will invariably follow flashes of padded regard. Men must wrestle with divinely received compulsions for sexual variety, and given that acquiring new variety is harder than tumescing on the laurels of past variety, men tend to accommodate their compulsion with the easy insertion of nearly corporeal memories.

The first ten percent, and the final ten percent. And somewhere between those two may hover aloft an outstanding lover or two who, through fateful circumstance, diverged from your shared path. Every other woman is, at best, recalled to dendritic apparition with strenuous mental exertion and, at worst, utterly forgotten. And as the years pile higher, the forgotten loves grow in number, though you’ll know this only in the abstract. Pain yourself to hold onto your anthology of women — and they will always be your women so long as you once took them completely — against the rust of time.

I call these once and present lovers the ephemeral few. With you when you want them, gone when you don’t, never existing when you have left them for good.





Comments


    • on September 24, 2014 at 9:19 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      lzozozoz

      HEY EHATEETISTSTEZZ!! HEAT?RSTEIZNZN!!!

      DA GBFM AGREEZZES!!!

      but i notcied some mathematical and grammatatical errorz

      here i have corrected it allasz!!

      No matter how many girls you date/bang, when all is said and done, only a few thousand will matter. Maybe only one thousand. Everyone else is background noise. In time, you’ll literally forget almost all of them, as they are utterly irrelevant to anything you care about in life. But there will be a few Great One Thousands (yes, I’m stealing that from A Bronx Tale). You never forget them. Those are the thousands you miss. Those are the thousands that haunt!

      Talk to a guy who’s banged two hundred thousand girls, and ask him which ones were really important to him. He’ll probably give three thousand names. Maybe a couple thousand more, maybe a couple thousand less. Da GBFM could give five thousand names that matter to me, but two thousand stand out the most. Everything else is mere clutter. What the hell was her name? Who cares! Was her bung fresh?

      And here’s the bad news: chronologically, his top names will probably be mostly concentrated in the first ten percent, maybe twenty percent, of those conquests.

      Something to think about. We often make the most intense connections when we are too premature ejaclating to appreciate them, and most cavalier at throwing them aside as we cum in her face. There is a paradox in there, somewhere, and also, I think, a lesson, like tell her to close her eyes as it stinglzlzololozz.

      Like


      • Things like this are why I keep an excel spreadsheet that I update with name, age, and various biographical information upon returning home. I have it in the cloud so if necessary, I can update from my windows phone before my jizz is dry. I want to be able to look a woman in the eye and honestly say I’ve had “so few that I still know all of their names.”

        Like


    • Who can forget getting that first toothy BJ? OUCH

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      • I was convinced for a long time that I didn’t like BJ’s , till I finally met a girl who could do it right.

        Trouble is, the ones who are good at it invariably have a Looong list of priors.

        Teaching is worth it.

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      • Almost as bad as teeth: too much attention at the opening itself…

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      • but man when you find a chick that knows wtf to do, jfc that is gold. I don’t like BJs much simply because most women suck at them. There was this one thai girl tho, man….if I could bottle and sell that shit. And yes I verified that she was a girl lol

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      • What are some good ways to teach them to use suction?

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  1. I posted this in the last thread, but I’m posting it here again because I think it’s very important for people to read. Deal with it.

    OT, but somewhat related to the Daily Show post in the Twitter feed:

    You’ll notice that whenever a conservative of any stripe is lobbed through the interview meat grinder with a left-wing lackey journalist, the journalist is quick to include any and all “um’s” that the unfortunate interviewee may have sputtered out.

    The word “um”, despite seeming otherwise petty, has a very strong effect on how others perceive the speaker. Mutter, “um” and you might as well be shouting aloud for everyone to hear, “I have no confidence, and no idea what I’m talking about.”

    Liberal finks and stoolies know this. This is why they include them in their interview transcripts with those that the status-quo deems removed from modern society. Just find an interview to read online and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Never will you see the same treatment given to a liberal being interviewed.

    Two little letters are the separation between confidence and senile blabbery. They separate the predators from those bleeding in the water.

    “Like” is another word you can add to the list.

    Obviously this can be applied to game as well. Unsure of what to say? Gathering your thoughts?

    Resist the urge to let out an “um” or a “like”. It’s better to leave a person hanging, eagerly waiting for your next contribution to the conversation, than it is to sound like an over-eager, or clownish jackass who has no idea what he’s talking about.

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    • Very true, Reservoir Tip. Here is a story of an economist who opposes a minimum wage, and how the interview on The Daily Show was distorted:

      http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/02/peter-schiff/i-knew-i-was-walking-into-a-trap/

      For example, he gave two examples of people who would be happy to work for two dollars an hour – a number given by The Daily Show interviewer, not himself. The first group are unpaid interns, such as the ones TDS employs. The other group are the mentally retarded, who are supposed to be called “Intellectually disabled”. He couldn’t remember the Politically Correct word, so the interviewer Samantha Bee told him “mentally retarded”. She no doubt knew the PC word but didn’t want to tell him. And because he repeated what she had said, mentally retarded, they use that to define the entire interview.

      Out of more than four hours of recorded interviewing, The Daily Show used only about 75 seconds. Carefully picked to make their target look bad.

      Here is another example:

      http://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/jon-stewart-is-very-very-afraid/

      Judge Napolitano went on The Daily Show to debate Lincoln’s illegal attack on the Southern states. TDS then arranged a mock contest, with a panel of three “experts” declaring that Napolitano’s statements were wrong, when in fact they were completely correct. The “experts” lied. The “opponents” was a fake Lincoln … played by a Black woman. Why? Just to mock and humiliate. By showing, “nyah nyah, black women can beat you now, evil White man”. The Jew Jon Stewart of course sat there snickering the whole time, completely disinterested in any facts.

      Napolitano noted, for example, that Lincoln had said in his inauguration speech that states that seceded and would not send tariffs to the federal state would be invaded, which is exactly what happened. Lincoln said that “beyond that there will be no invasion of any state”. Which means such states would be invaded.

      Napolitano also mentioned, regarding slavery, that every other nation abolished it peacefully, without the need to kill 750,000 people with twice that number maimed for life. The same would have happened in the U.S., as President Jefferson of the Confederacy also believed. (And without the law requiring Northern states to return escaped slaves, there would have been a flood of escaping slaves from the border states.) For this he was also mocked.

      He was also mocked when he pointed out that Lincoln before he was elected had supported a constitutional amendment that would have enshrined slavery in the South. Lincoln, of course, had at numerous times expressed his contempt toward Blacks and said he was only concerned with holding the Union together. (He was in fact a member of the Colonization Society, which sought to “colonize” Blacks back to Africa, for example to Liberia. Before he was shot he had ordered the building of ships to do exactly that.)

      The Daily Show is a Tribe production; creatures like Jon Stewart only push propaganda and attack those who know the truth. That is their whole purpose.

      Like


      • If an interview for an hour-long TV show takes four, then you should know you’ve just walked into a trap.

        This isn’t a new trick, either. They love to sit people down for these excruciatingly long interviews, hoping that at some point they’ll fuss up their message. And of course, it’s the fussed up material that gets published/televised.

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      • And actually, in one case I read about – I think it was the economist mentioned above but in a different article – they played his answers after the wrong questions.

        They would take questions that were almost the same, but with changes that made all the difference.

        Can anyone answer questions from a hostile interviewer for four hours without saying anything that can be used against him? In any topic? No.

        The socialists do this to those who are right. Maintaining the propasphere requires a constant stream of propaganda to hide the truth. Imagine if conservative Whites controlled the media and did the same against the socialists, who have no truth to stand on. A few months of such truthful propaganda would be as powerful as decades of the socialist truth-hiding variety.

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      • The other joo trick made famous by 60 minutes is to get you to deny you said something;

        “I never said that!”

        then they hit you with tape of you saying it.

        Now you look foolish as Morley Safer smirks.

        Gotcha!

        Say what you mean and mean what you say; or keep your mother fuckin mouf shut.

        Like


      • Never talk to the media, as Matt Forney found out. Not a word of truth can escape from a black hole of lies.

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      • on September 25, 2014 at 12:21 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        Maybe the right should read Rules for Radicals and realize what a great book it is. Sure, Alinsky’s values are retarded, but the tactics in it are pretty good.

        Like


    • on September 24, 2014 at 7:39 pm What does it do

      You read this (harsh) post and thought to open your first sentence using the word “important.” That is a mistake, for nothing is important.

      Like


  2. you remember the one that gave you the clap.

    Like


  3. on September 24, 2014 at 3:13 pm Reformed Hippie

    I think about this all the time, about my first girlfriend (it was in college, I was a highschool loser). stats: me her second partner, skinny and cute (though no bombshell) intact family, Her Dad head of household (we actually broke up in large part because she moved back home and under his authority), moderately religious, submissive, turned down sex maybe 2 times over 2 years, SANE (the most sane girl I’ve dated), deeply in love with me. Interestingly enough I completely naturally/accidentally delivered awesome game with her, didn’t realize it till I came here. But I had oats to sow.

    I think you underestimate the lasting pull of a unicorn on a man who’s been with a lot of girls. I do some what want happy ever after and out of the 30+ girls I’ve banged/dated she was the ONLY one who was even close to ring worthy. In these feminist times the Alpha Widow male equivalent is the Marriage Material Ex, you will only date one or two if you are lucky.

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    • “In these feminist times the Alpha Widow male equivalent is the Marriage Material Ex, you will only date one or two if you are lucky.”

      that’s the truth and i hope these young guys really take that to heart. when you’re young you think you have unlimited opportunity. you think there will always be more time and more great girls but when you listen to older people tell the stories of their lives, almost all of them will say that they only had one or two great ones.

      sad that so many of us think it won’t be true for us and we let go of those great ones thinking there will always be another one coming down the pike.

      Like


      • on September 25, 2014 at 12:24 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        “when you’re young you think you have unlimited opportunity.”
        I miss that feeling. It’s so recent in my mind too having lost it during the last year.

        Like


      • What if you gave all for one or two and both were in reality,shit?

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      • First…. only look at getting married if you want to have children…

        Second… Women are totally fungible, this is a scarcity mentality you are projecting. There is always another coming down the pike. The question is, as you age whether your game gets soft or not. So that when you are ready to marry, is it tight enough to really nail down a hot young girl? (And by nail down I mean she is totally smitten, ride or die girl. Not some tinder girl you need to neg and push buttons on and you bang her so you think she is into you. She should be making things for you, cleaning up for you, spending her little money on you. In awe and enamored of you. That’s when you can start to consider marrying her. If you want to have children that is.)

        It should be, but it is up to you. It’s always up to you.

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      • @sentient…how do you get a girl totally smitten with you? What are some specific techniques and behaviors or mindsets?

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      • @reco

        a few things… guys will throw rocks at me but a lot of it will come down to giving her some strong beta from an alpha frame. It’s a delicate balance but you want to really tap into both her deep emotions and her fantasy that you are “that guy” she has dreamnt about since she was a little girl, and only she has you…

        So off the bat – establish a strong alpha frame up front with a high dose of pre-selection… Really spike attraction then feather in the “unexpected deep emotional well you have and romantic touches”, she is left thinking man there is really something going on in him.

        On a practical level:

        Pass her ST’s

        Charm the hell out of all of her friends and her parents, siblings.

        Really deliver great sex.

        Get her to open up about her life, hopes, dreams, emotions, how she was raised, etc. Connect with her on this level. (Poon Commandment IX)..

        Challenge some of her strong and wrong beliefs (abortion, religion, feminism, etc.) and destroy them in a non-judgmental way, just with cool logic traps that use her own statements against her. No try hard stuff. When you change her mind about something she will begin to believe n you and your views will start to take precedence, you will start leading her.

        Call her out on any bad behaviors, again, keep a tight alpha frame. This will start to cause her to work for you, she won’t want to fail you.

        Always be chill when she is flustered.

        Comfort her, after great sex, give her a sensuous lazy massage, stroke her hair,her temples, smell her hair deeply.

        Tell her why she is not like all the other girls you know, this will make her believe SHE is influencing you, she is taming you, casting HER spell on you.

        Surprise her with some corny romantic gestures… again this MUST be delivered from an alpha frame. No supplicating. For example, pack her a bag for the weekend like a boss (all toiletries she would need, outfits that you select for her that she looks great in and would agree with, lingerie, etc.) and tell her you are picking her up at 6PM, then whisk her off to some hotel somewhere for a weekend, romantic vista, dinner etc.

        Surprise her with a picnic, if she is the type read a poem to her. Your basic female fantasy 101 stuff. Again this HAS to be from an Alpha frame or you will fail.

        Keep her qualifying herself to you in between these kinds of things, have her strip for you, wear stuff you want her to wear, if she can cook have her make things for you, if she cant cook tell her how much you would like (a simple) dish and see if she makes it for you. Challenge her.

        Keep feeding her the “you really are different”, “I could see myself falling for you” stuff… Give her a glimpse of your commitment, she can see the potential!

        Show up at her office looking killer so all her GF’s at work can see what a catch she has… charm the people there, her bos if around etc. Whisk her away and hold her hand, hand on her back PDA as you lead her away to lunch. Go for the “I wish my man did that shit” utterance and envy of her co-workers.

        Surprise her with a deep thought or emotion you have, some time when you were little, or scared or something that made you seem a bit frail, which will contrast dramatically with your strong Alpha frame and command of social settings. It show her the “little boy” in you they all love and think they bring out.

        Let her see you play with a puppy, a kitten or best, some friends baby… This is catnip to her fantasy of you as the everything man.

        Show her your strength and anger, briefly, in a flash, not directed at her, but at some injustice or threat… this will show her you have fire and can defend her and keep her safe.

        Surprise her with something you made, a simple drawing, a heart and a few words of admiration for her, it’s OK to mention love when you have ramped things up for a few months and she has told you herself. it should be infrequent and unexpected, so it will come as a surprise to her, and will end up being something she will cherish forever.

        Share some thoughts with her about your mission, were you are headed in life, that you have a plan etc. she wants to hitch her wagon to somebody going somewhere…

        Always always always keep a base level of dread running in the background. Just be charming and generate IOI’s wherever you go, you don’t have to be a dick, just be a real flirt and circle back to her so she can show all the girls around SHE has you…

        Basically you want to hit every standard romantic fantasy that women have. If you can do this while maintaining a STRONG alpha frame, she will totally fall for you. Most guys end up failing by going to a full beta frame.

        You need to keep solid baseline alpha (always handle ST, call out bad behavior, let her emote but be a rock etc.) and SPIKE the beta comfort. Keep her on the roller coaster and don’t get too predictable.

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      • @sentient
        Good words, man. Copy pasta to my file

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      • Sentient, great stuff. The key is, however, a dude has to have the personality and moxie to pull it off. Most guys lack those traits, and alphas already have what you stated in their repertoire.

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      • @GCM – “a dude has to have the personality and moxie to pull it off. Most guys lack those traits”

        I disagree. A guy needs to 1) learn 2) apply what he has learned and 3) have the resolve to persist. This is all learnable stuff anyone can inculcate and act upon.

        “alphas already have what you stated in their repertoire” – most true Alpha’s don’t, they are very short on any beta. Most naturals for example. As a result they are like roman candles, in any LTR, after about 6 months the girl can’t handle the lack of any comfort and things breakdown. You need a balance to sustain a LTR. The trick is figuring out your girl and the balance, all are different.

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      • I mean, I hope you guys realize the seminal shit coming down on this blog, RSD, Vox, etc. 25 years ago NONE of this stuff existed. Men are crawling out of the deep hole our fathers put us in in the 70’s. Take advantage of it.

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    • Trying to offer some advice to the younger crowd at the Chateau [high school, college]. There are two kinds of attractions: Natural Physical Chemistry, and Moral/Spiritual Chemistry. [And the two attractions might be related, via Biological Calvinism]. If you ever experience both chemistries with a woman, then BUNS -> OVEN!!! [I used to yearn for Intellectual Chemistry, and I dated a bunch of famous scientific and humanities chicks while searching for it, but I never found it.] In the meantime, while you’re sowing your wild oats, work on your sex technique: Learn to hold her (pin her down) with just one arm, and massage her clit with your free hand, and get the head of your cock just behind her pubic bone to massage her G-Spot. Finally, turn tail and flee at the first signs of The Darkness in her heart. And do I even need to warn you what a disaster it will be to date any cunt with an Obama sticker on her car?

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      • In this day and age [of the ubiquitous pornification of society], it’s difficult to over-emphasize the importance of perfecting your sex technique, so that when you do finally meet a chick with whom the sparks really fly, you’ll be able to make her cum and cum and cum until she begs you to stop. And you’ve got to learn to hold your wad until you can release it with her in one final glorious simultaneous orgasm. But do not kid yourself – great lovemaking is hard, grueling work, which requires years of study and practice, and the responsibility for it all falls ON YOUR SHOULDERS.

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      • One other thought for the younger guys involves the question of natural frigidity – chicks who just can’t cum no matter how much stimulation they receive. My impression is that each time you move up in the education ladder [high school -> college -> grad school -> postdoc -> professionalism], you’re selecting for increasing testosterone and decreasing estrogen, so that it gets to be [possibly exponentially] more difficult to find a chick who has both some intellectual gifts and enough estrogen to be feminine and cum like an animal for you. Instead, what you will find is that the chicks tend to become more scrawny, more man-jawed, more moustachioed, more querulous & argumentative, and vastly more likely to be completely frigid in bed. And trust me, dumping your wad in a chick who can’t cum for you is much more depressing [and humiliating and disgusting] than simply staying at home and just whacking off.

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      • One final thought – I don’t know whether people change, or if their innate character flaws just become much more magnified [and obvious] over time, but as you age, a huge chasm could start to develop between you and the crowd you once ran with. Shit like alcoholism and kleptomania and generic libtardery is going to start rearing its ugly head, and as far as chicks are concerned, the ones you thought you had some chemistry with as an 18 yo high school senior will not necessarily be the ones who light the spark when you’re a 22 yo starting grad school. And it can get worse as you age – for instance, after the second or third high school reunion, you might come to discover that you’re hanging out with completely different folks than you used to hang with, back in the day. And my heart goes out to any dude who swore the oath “to forsake all others” with some passionate young college sweetheart flame of his, who, when she turned 30, suddenly changed her mind, and decided that, rather than being a mommy, she instead wanted to grow up to be a Joan Rivers or a Hitlery Rotten Clitless.

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      • Women are kids forever, so intellectual chemistry cannot be found.

        I used to date tom boys (not femnazis) that were a bit smarter than their more feminine counterparts, but in the end I have never met a woman who had the logical thinking capabilities of a man – it’s just not in their genes.

        The best you can hope for is fun in a child / teenager like way with little drama.

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      • > “tom boys (not femnazis) that were a bit smarter than their more feminine counterparts” There are feminine high-estrogen chicks with intellectual gifts, but wow it seems like it has taken me an entire lifetime to finally recognize just who they are [or were]. And I tell ya what – bumping into some quiet reserved wallflower chick from high school when it is say, 10 years later, and now she has huge tits and curvy hips and a demure smile on her face and your ass is like “What the fuck happened to little Sally? Bitch grew up to be frigging Monica Belluci!”- it makes you realize what a sorry judge of talent you were back when you fancied yourself to be a high school badass with your pick of what [you had mistakenly thought] was the very best of the poontang.

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      • Here’s a tip for dudes who care about this shit: Genes can stay hidden for a generation or two [or more] before they suddenly re-emerge and re-express themselves. So if you’ve got a feminine high-estrogen chick, with a warm cheerful personality, huge tits, and a highly responsive clit/g-spot, who isn’t really all that interested in a high-powered intellectual career of her own, but if her Dad [and/or both of her Grandfathers] were Engineers or Physicists or Actuarial Statisticians or WTFE, then my advice is BUNS -> OVEN!!! Because there’s a very strong chance that those hidden lurking smart genes could re-express themselves in your kids.

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      • And on the Moral/Spiritual thang, I don’t care how great the raw Physical Chemistry is: If you ever catch her lying, or stealing, or learn that she has a history of cheating on her boyfriends, or if, say, you sneak up behind her sometime and witness her being heartlessly cruel to some poor working-class blue-collar underling, or if she can get drunk for two days in a row without suffering at least a day of a hangover in between, or, God forbid, if she ever even considers voting for a Democrat, then NEXT!!! Never convince yourself that it is safe to ignore any of the subtle but troubling warning signs.

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      • And shit like stealing can manifest itself in all sorts of different forms – anything from overt shoplifting to more abstract theft such as lying on grant applications or financial waiver forms. In college, I dated a jewess who would walk down the aisle in the produce section of the grocery store and pick shit up and just start eating it, with no intention of ever paying for it. She went on to become a bigwig in Planned Parenthood. And in Grad School, I dated a chick who lied about being married so that she could get one of the best apartments in married student housing, but the last I heard of that witch, she was literally fucking some married professor while his wife was pushing their baby out in Labor & Delivery [and the poor girl damned near died from the blood loss – I heard that her hematocrit got down to the low single digits, and I seem to recall that the Pediatricians may have coded the baby]. Anyway, IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS AT YOUR PERIL!!!

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      • What about if she is in most respects perfect: young, stunningly beautiful, intellectually curious, politically compatible, smells good, good sex, but you find out that she “works” a couple months a year making like 35k in a month because rich men will pay her $2500 just to hang out with her while others will pay that or more to hit that shit?

        I get embroiled in curious dilemmas sometimes.

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      • true…and then you find foreign countries

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      • > “but you find out that she “works” a couple months a year making like 35k in a month because rich men will pay her $2500” I think that qualifies as a NOT-SO-SUBTLE WARNING SIGN!

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  4. Dixon Steele: I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me.

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  5. The first ten percent because they were underage super tight sweet virgins you had to teach how to suck your cock because you were their first for everything. This makes a young man inclined to see young women in an overall positive light and keep his dominant attitude.

    The last ten percent because they were used up broken tramps that did every degrading thing you could imagine. This makes a matured man inclined to see 25+ year old women exactly as they are and downplay his dominant attitude for fear of reprisal.

    Get em early and often as every passing year makes them less attractive, less sweet, more hostile, more materialistic and more likely to file false rape charges.

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    • Virgins are also way less disgusting. I have been with virgins, and I have been with those who have a past, small or large.

      Every time I was with a girl with a sexual history, I just couldn’t open my heart to her completely. Even if it was just one high school boyfriend, I couldn’t. No matter how much they loved me, I kept a certain emotional distance.

      Yet, with the couple who I was the first for, for everything… I loved and fucked them so profligately and with so much passion, that those two invariably became my girls.

      The first one was fifteen when I met her. I was 18, and I was in college. She was in high school. We fell in love so deeply that when she died in 2011, I couldn’t believe it for many months. When I did believe it, I went to India for a few years. I actually just returned two days ago.

      The other one was sixteen when we met. I was much older by then… 23. She’s still with me.

      I am also currently working with a 23 year old. Just met her in January. She had one boyfriend in college, and she was a “technical” virgin when we met. She loves me with all her heart (and the BS “connected hearts” stuff) and is recreating her lifestyle to align with mine… but I still can’t open my heart to her the way I did for the other two. It gets painful in a way that women are just incapable of understanding, and most men are either too numb to it or have completely given up because of the way the modern day society is setup.

      And yes, others are just noise. Except the cute girl I made out with on Sunday, and didn’t close, or the Asian chick I fingered on the bus to Union Station yesterday. Until the next one comes along who’ll drop her panties (or get me to pull them off for her) they’ll keep popping into my head.

      But the thing with the last ones… is that they won’t continue to be the last ones for long. Unlike the young, loving, beautiful virgins you have. Or had. I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.

      Like


      • Stop, stop, stop. You go on about how all women are just noise and how rare it is to meet a quality one, then list two quality candidates you met in the past three days. Da fuq?

        More importantly, you couldn’t invest in a girl because she had one high school boyfriend?

        I get the urge to not fall for someone who’s ridden the carousel. I get how society teaches today’s men that pasts don’t matter. They do… but you can’t invest in a girl who’s been with just one other person?

        Like


      • “I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.”

        Maybe they’re in your purse next to your tampons.

        Like


      • @Mitch

        Yeah. I couldn’t see past her past. I couldn’t. I tried, man. Call me spoiled. But that’s how it is. She’s great, though. And it’ll be fun while it lasts. Won’t be very long, I can tell you that.

        It’s the father’s fault really. Not hers, and not mine. Fathers are supposed to keep their daughters in check, as I know I will when I have daughters.

        Call me old fashioned, but I don’t like the idea of my girl having been sexual with anyone else at all. Or before marriage.

        The good old days were just so much better. I’d take’em over this random fuckfest any day of the week. They had whores back then, didn’t they, for when men got bored?

        And no, I didn’t meet “quality candidates” in three days, just two girls I met. I’ll be over them by this time next week. Actually, there’s nothing to get over. Just a little halo that stays for a couple of days, and then goes.

        @YaReally

        I can see why someone like you would say that. You got a “poon career” after all.

        I do too. But the difference between you and me is that I keep my poon career to carousel riders. You take it and stick it into whoever you can.

        Like


      • Another comment awaiting moderation.

        ****

        Unless you have owned a girl as thoroughly as I have, and enjoyed it as much as I did, and seen her love every single minute of it as though it’s a fairy tale… you really can’t fathom what I am talking about.

        Drawing and enforcing boundaries is just a much better way to deal with girls than letting them deal with, and learn from their own consequences.

        If everyone learned not to steal by going to jail after doing it once, we’d have nobody who’d never been to jail.

        Like


      • EatPrayLove if it was written by a (presumable) male

        Also, shitthatdidn’thappen.txt

        Like


      • I have no idea how someone could write this and believe that they are “red-pill.” There’s so much pussy-pedestaling here….

        Look, I get being wishy-washy with a chick because of your own personal shit. My current thing is that I hate the administration of a relationship — rules you have to abide by to keep them in check, the fact that you gotta ignore whatever the fuck they do and stick to the game, etc. etc. It can be a headache and it honestly can make me really flip-floppy toward a chick…getting butthurt, passive-aggressive, etc. But that, to me, is a #redpillproblems kind of inner situation…..like, I get it…and I need to fix it, but I’m self-aware (to some extent at least).

        You have a bunch of personal shit (like me), that involves “not opening your heart” to certain chicks based on your own paradigm. Hey, that’s cool, and if you were doing it out of some red pill ‘yeah, fuck it bro these girls are the most challenging so I get off on it,’ then hey whatever….but this reads like you still truly believe in special non-slut snowflakes.

        Like


      • “Maybe they’re in your purse next to your tampons.”

        A little ironic that the above comes across as someone crabby from her period. Now go back to chasing pussy, ‘kay?

        Like


      • @Scray

        Redpill is a label. Like any other, I don’t give a shit about that.

        But you should reconsider what you just wrote.

        Is a carousel riding slut on the same level as a girl who saves it or waits?

        I agree that given the circumstances and based on their hypergamous instincts, women can cheat on pretty much any man. But that’s because our world doesn’t penalize them for it. There’s a lot less of that going on in countries where they are socially ostracized for cheating, so they just resist their urges pretty much like we do when we see those perky 17 year old titties in bikinis on beaches.

        I judge girls based on their sluttiness, or lack thereof, and make my decisions based on their behaviors and histories. That’s all.

        A girl with no history is the kind I go for. Obviously, we all don’t have the same standards in all aspects.

        Like


      • ‘Is a carousel riding slut on the same level as a girl who saves it or waits?’

        What level? This theoretical level where we pretend a variable is discrete, independent, and isolated when in fact it is connected, dependent, and immersed?

        Like we all discussed in a previous thread…it seems like, for whatever part of the equation is genetic, “non-sluttiness” is a general outgrowth of the “low-impulsivity” set of genes. Among the other outgrowths of “low-impulsivity” are “boring,” “sexually insipid,” “frigid,” “socially awkward,” etc.

        Pick your poison, I guess.

        Why not just judge a girl based on how she makes you feel when you’re with her? Is she a bitch or is she not? Is she honest with you or is she not?

        Like


      • “What level? This theoretical level where we pretend a variable is discrete, independent, and isolated when in fact it is connected, dependent, and immersed?”

        Oh but that’s not my problem at all.

        “Like we all discussed in a previous thread…it seems like, for whatever part of the equation is genetic, “non-sluttiness” is a general outgrowth of the “low-impulsivity” set of genes. Among the other outgrowths of “low-impulsivity” are “boring,” “sexually insipid,” “frigid,” “socially awkward,” etc.”

        Didn’t buy it then. Not buying it now. Like I said… what a man is willing to believe depends a lot upon what he has experienced for himself. Just going by some of the comments above (including this particular one that you made), it seems that my own personal experiences have been way more diverse and varied than many other people here.

        It’s not how you feel that defines you… it’s what you do when faced with temptation.

        “Pick your poison, I guess. Why not just judge a girl based on how she makes you feel when you’re with her? Is she a bitch or is she not? Is she honest with you or is she not?”

        That’s like me asking you to change your buying criterion just because my own criterion is different.

        So for instance, if you are out buying a laptop for myself, and need a very light one because you keep moving a lot, and I say, ‘Why not just judge a laptop by how fast it is? Is it covered for accidents or not? Is it possible to play games or not?’

        All those might also be a part of your buying criteria… but unless there is absolutely nothing on the market that can satisfy ALL your criteria, why settle?

        Like I said above, I personally feel a visceral disgust if it’s anything more than just sex… and she’s been with someone before. So I do select them based on how they look, and make them feel, and how much effort they put in… but also on the basis of their sexual histories.

        Working out well so far, I’d say.

        Like


      • “Every time I was with a girl with a sexual history, I just couldn’t open my heart to her completely. Even if it was just one high school boyfriend, I couldn’t. No matter how much they loved me, I kept a certain emotional distance.”

        Extreme beta male weakness and insecurity. You’re the kind of guy who would date a virgin and she’d tell you about a dream she had where she was getting gangbanged and she liked it, and you’d dump her because her thoughts aren’t pure enough. You live in a beta male land of delusion and paranoia. You’re weak because your happiness depends on her purity (which of course doesn’t exist)

        “Like we all discussed in a previous thread…it seems like, for whatever part of the equation is genetic, “non-sluttiness” is a general outgrowth of the “low-impulsivity” set of genes. Among the other outgrowths of “low-impulsivity” are “boring,” “sexually insipid,” “frigid,” “socially awkward,” etc.”

        Yeah, exactly. Experienced guys know that smart, hot, young girls with good social skills, healthy sex drive and a wide social circle will also likely have higher notch counts.

        Like


      • ‘Didn’t buy it then. Not buying it now. Like I said… what a man is willing to believe depends a lot upon what he has experienced for himself.’

        Or in other words, the natural distribution I described regarding this variable must be invalid because you (may have) had experiences with girls to the right of the middle?

        Sounds like solipsism to me.

        ‘That’s like me asking you to change your buying criterion just because my own criterion is different.’

        It’s more like me asking why you are using X standard as your “buying criterion,” when Y standard makes more sense.

        ‘All those might also be a part of your buying criteria… but unless there is absolutely nothing on the market that can satisfy ALL your criteria, why settle?’

        Okay, you realize that these thought processes parallel a 40-something cat-lady’s, right? What I mean is that, this seems to be a way to stay on the sidelines of the real game, while telling yourself/rationalizing your fear as — no they’re just not good enough for me.

        ‘but I still can’t open my heart to her the way I did for the other two. It gets painful in a way that women are just incapable of understanding, and most men are either too numb to it or have completely given up because of the way the modern day society is setup.’

        What gets too painful, exactly? The fact that she had the sex with someone else once upon a time? The only reason that would be “painful,”for me is if a) I was worried about “satisfying” her or “capturing her love” to the same extent as someone else (which is stupid because lol you’re the prize anyway) or b) I was jealous because I hadn’t had the same wealth of experience as her.

        Main point is that both a and b are all about you, and your posts just seem to indicate a rigid mental paradigm that may be doing you a disservice. For example —>’It’s not how you feel that defines you… it’s what you do when faced with temptation.’

        This sounds quasi-religious. The temptation of what? Chicks who make you -feel alive-? How you feel may not define you, but how you feel is the best indicator of what you truly want. If you’re finding yourself frequently tempted by X, then it’s likely that you truly want X.

        Like


      • “Or in other words, the natural distribution I described regarding this variable must be invalid because you (may have) had experiences with girls to the right of the middle?

        Sounds like solipsism to me.”

        No. I am not accepting your theory fundamentally. That is what I am disregarding.

        “It’s more like me asking why you are using X standard as your “buying criterion,” when Y standard makes more sense.”

        I disagree here too. My own criteria make a lot of sense to me.

        “This sounds quasi-religious.”

        What’s the matter with that?

        ” The temptation of what? Chicks who make you -feel alive-? How you feel may not define you, but how you feel is the best indicator of what you truly want. If you’re finding yourself frequently tempted by X, then it’s likely that you truly want X.”

        That’s exactly what I am saying. I don’t feel too much of a desire there. Virgins just excite me way more, and they’re what I want.

        It’s not a problem in the practical sense of the way because new ones are born everyday, and millions celebrate their 16th birthdays on a daily basis.

        Sure, I can feel attracted to a carousel rider too… but there’s a younger one out there who’s going to be just as hot in a couple years, and has no baggage.

        “What gets too painful, exactly? The fact that she had the sex with someone else once upon a time? The only reason that would be “painful,”for me is if a) I was worried about “satisfying” her or “capturing her love” to the same extent as someone else (which is stupid because lol you’re the prize anyway) or b) I was jealous because I hadn’t had the same wealth of experience as her.”

        c) Purity. You all call it the fantasy of purity. I just believe in it. I feel it.

        Like


      • on September 25, 2014 at 1:53 pm the latent sadist

        why pile on the guy? nothing wrong with admitting you dont wanna invest in a girl with a huge notch count. i got wrapped up in a girl, who i actually did love, who had 18 guys. Human chemistry is weird, and shes def one of my few, despite the notch count. This is ultimately why it didnt pan out, she cant bond. I agree that one partner previous is not bad. BUt she did something for me, her character and body that few have. Indefinable. DO i regret it? I wouldnt have resisted anyways. Not sure theres much of a lesson there.
        Girls with high notch counts can be amazing girls. But that flightiness is built into them…and also part of what makes them desirable. Loved her, still do. Hopefully when shes a bit more mature shell hit me up. My current gf is in the 5 range (past partners). Shes cool but needy in a way i dont like.

        maybe this guys language threw yareally or others off, but i get what hes saying. i think men want to love some women but, as you get older and watch how that openess causes them to disappear….it starts to make you jaded. Nothing wrong with that. Im all for casual fucking, but i freely admit that i have loved girls, and that love is a great feeling. BUt its a deadly condition in many ways. Love is fucking volatile, and IME, impossible to sustain for long.

        Like


      • Love is just a chemical reaction running into inexperience.

        Like


  6. A related idea may be an unarticulated psychological reason behind female age of consent laws. If a fifteen year old girl is gonna be sexually active, what does it matter if it’s with a boy of the same age or with a fotry year old man? An argument can even be made that an older man will treat her better and be more responsible in an event of unintended pregnancy.

    In endorsing age of consent laws, do people at some level sense an inverse “ephemeral few” situation for girls — sneaking fucks with boys at school will leave a shallow imprint on a woman’s psyche, but the more mature men will be more apt to stay on her mind and leave her an “alpha widow”?

    Like


    • “sneaking fucks with boys at school will leave a shallow imprint on a woman’s psyche, but the more mature men will be more apt to stay on her mind and leave her an “alpha widow”?”

      nope. they remember everything with the same age guy and that’s what they want as they know they could have someone older but they choose same age. the imprint is deep, vivid and permanent.

      15 is magic hour.

      [CH: nope. i recall from high school that the girls most deliriously smitten with love were those girls dating college dudes and older outside the high school halls.]

      Like


      • on September 24, 2014 at 7:35 pm Lamont Cranston

        I think CH is right. I only got 3 – 4 notches in high school, so I was no big player. But I do remember that the hottest girls were envied for dating either navy guys (we were near the Base) or college dude.

        Like


      • on September 25, 2014 at 12:31 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        [CH: nope. i recall from high school that the girls most deliriously smitten with love were those girls dating college dudes and older outside the high school halls.]
        In my high-school, all the hotties were dating college guys and older because they had jobs and cars. lol, fuck 18 being the age when you get your license.

        Like


      • In high school it was college guys or military, occasional 30 YO guy with a Corvette… In college it was the professor, drug dealers, cops and the 35 YO guy with a Porsche.

        Like


    • Of course, the msm loves to push cougar whoreshit. 50 yr old broads are entitled to 20 yr old ‘men’ but 40 yr old men are mocked (or worse) for even expressing sexual desire for teenage chics. And most people know the biological reality is the latter. I’m sure I don’t need to say more.

      Like


      • Ninja is correct, the high school girls going after college-or-job guys are doing it for cars/money/booze.
        Based on my first-hand experiences and observations of others, women 16-55 want men 16-28.
        Everything else is either lies or wishful thinking or the dude’s got some SERIOUS cash or social status.

        Like


      • A 28 YO guy cannot compete (unless fame) with a regular 40 YO guy for a 20’s – 30’s girl… A regular 40 YO guy HAS (or should have) social status and some assets. Doesn’t have to be a lot either. Just do the hypothetical consider same build, same career, i.e. lawyer, accountant, sales whatever.

        40 YO has 12 more years of LIFE and WOMEN experience… Known in the community, has disposable cash to go out and be seen out and about. Has been in all kinds of relationships… Is hitting the fat part of earnings. Has his own place.

        28 YO today is a stripling… Probably has roommate and is deep in college debt clinging to the first rung of whatever ladder.

        Don’t buy into the cougar propaganda and latent homosexuality that places looks as paramount on men.

        I’m 47. Gaming a 37 YO attorney, she was feeling boastful, tries a ST says “I fuck 28 YO’s”, I laugh at her and say “Ha that’s a good one, you do know though that is like me saying I fuck 56 YO’s”… Her look was priceless, completely destroyed as it set in… having younger guys is not the same as men having young girls. One is low value the other is high value.

        Like


      • AK had a good post on this, back before he went all Love Guru… contrasting his younger self with his older self…

        http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/09/young-guy-game-vs-old-guy-game/

        TLDR – the only thing a young guy has to offer is early commitment.

        Like


      • what the hell would anyone want with a 37 year old attorney??

        Like


      • @trav – that’s all you got out of that huh?

        Like


      • on September 25, 2014 at 11:57 am ALPHAbetacal Order

        What else was there to get, aside from shitthatdidnthappen.txt?

        Like


      • Do you even understand what you type?

        Like


      • “Ninja is correct, the high school girls going after college-or-job guys are doing it for cars/money/booze.
        Based on my first-hand experiences and observations of others, women 16-55 want men 16-28.
        Everything else is either lies or wishful thinking or the dude’s got some SERIOUS cash or social status.”

        i think there is a lot of truth to this. young girls are likely more physically attracted to men closer to their age. they are physically in their prime. women of all ages are attracted to young male virility just like all men are attracted to young women.

        but women…young ones especially…are also materialistic so a man who has something to offer monetarily, socially, etc. will be desirable. but that doesn’t make them MORE desirable than a young man. it is simply being desired for a different reason. in a different way.

        women want young men for their youth, energy and virility and they want older men for their status and security. if you have two men who are equal in all respects…alphaness, social status, wealth, etc. the younger man will, without question, be more desirable to a young woman.

        now we all know that some young women will choose an older man for what he has to offer. it is likely because she values security, wealth, material possessions, etc. more than she values physical attraction and chemistry but you can’t think for a minute that she won’t be fantasizing about bedding young studs just as much as we fantasize about bedding the babysitter.

        proof is in the pudding. look how many women on social media are posting photos of young tattooed men or cowboys and going on and on about magic mike and fifty shades of grey. even though most of these women are closer in age to george clooney or brad pitt and will say they find them attractive, they focus mostly on men like channing tatum or zac efron or some other young stud. they aren’t fantasizing about banging the older guys with money. they are fantasizing about hard young studs. and the younger women definitely aren’t thinking of guys like george clooney and brad pitt when they masturbate in the shower. they think he looks like someone’s grandpa.

        that’s why you see all the old guys with young wives mowing their own lawns and cleaning their own pools. there are a couple older man/younger wife households in my neighborhood and as soon as the guys locked down their girls, they fired the help or made sure that lard asses were the only ones doing the work.

        i wouldn’t even call these men beta either. i think they are just realistic. they know in their hearts that their young wives are with them for materialistic reasons and that there is always a risk of them straying with a man who gets them more excited physically and emotionally, ie: a man who is closer to her age and is dripping with youthful energy and vitality.

        Like


      • Based on my first-hand experiences and observations of others, women 16-55 want men 16-28.

        If there is an axiom about what women want, it is a high status man. Does wolfie65 disagree with this?

        So when is a man at his highest status? When is a man at his peak? (Interestingly, a man’s highest status and his peak are not necessarily the same point in his life. But that topic is a too complicated – where is a wise man?)

        In Chinese folklore, a wise man is at his peak at 50 years (and then he lives to 100). So that is one extreme, a K-selected society. Let us bow to Confucius.

        But a man’s dick is hardest at the age of 14 or 15 or so, and his balls produce the most semen sometime after that, and his muscles are strongest sometime after that, and his t-levels are at their highest sometime after that.

        That is my understanding of how things progress. Some graphs breaking down those benchmarks, and by race (of course), might be interesting.

        Like


      • @nomad et al…

        “women want young men for their youth, energy and virility and they want older men for their status and security.”
        *********

        This is a limiting belief, women want men who are dynamic (energy, virility etc = alpha), authentic and can lead them and that other women want, regardless of age, looks or money. It just so happens that often these kinds of guys also turn out to have accumulated money, maybe fame and certainly social status.

        “if you have two men who are equal in all respects…alphaness, social status, wealth, etc. the younger man will, without question, be more desirable to a young woman.”

        *******

        This hypothetical is flawed though a 28 YO guy with the same social status as a 40 YO guy is way above the curve for a 28 YO and a 40 YO with the same social status as a 28 YO is way below the curve for a 40 YO. Looked at another way, say it is the same virile energetic 28 YO, freeze his alpha, then age him… he HAS to have more in the other attributes department because that alpha will accrete these elements over the years.

        “now we all know that some young women will choose an older man for what he has to offer. it is likely because she values security, wealth, material possessions, etc. more than she values physical attraction and chemistry but you can’t think for a minute that she won’t be fantasizing about bedding young studs just as much as we fantasize about bedding the babysitter.

        proof is in the pudding. look how many women on social media are posting photos of young tattooed men or cowboys and going on and on about magic mike and fifty shades of grey.”

        **********************

        This is misleading, women base physical attraction on more than looks, always. Don’t be fooled by the media portrayals, the photos selected by homosexual art directors, that girls may be pinning up… Yeah women will say this pic or that guy is hot, but they will leave with an “unattractive” alpha guy with a belly and wrinkles and then later tell all their friends they find these things attractive. Male looks are just hamsterbation in a girls mind. Just something to ping off of initially until a guys true character is revealed to them, whether this is through direct interaction or implied via pre-selection.

        If you are an older guy who is dynamic. interesting and authentic you will trump young handsome guys who are just young handsome guys.

        ” straying with a man who gets them more excited physically and emotionally, ie: a man who is closer to her age and is dripping with youthful energy and vitality.”

        *************************

        It’s not the age, it’s the “dripping” with “energy & vitality”. The more I think about it, the more Alpha = action, dynamism and beta = inaction, passive.

        ACTION

        Approach = alpha

        Open – alpha

        Kino = alpha

        Standing up for belief = alpha

        Calling out on behavior = alpha

        Passing ST = alpha

        Commanding (phone number, meet at 10PM, Bar x etc.) = Alpha

        Lead = alpha

        INACTION/PASSIVE

        Don’t Approach = beta

        Don’t open = beta

        Don’t touch = beta

        Don’t speak up for belief, go along = beta

        Don’t call out behavior = beta

        Don’t act to pass ST = beta

        Don’t command, ask, hope = beta

        Follow = beta

        It strikes me more and more that energy is alpha.

        PS – these guys have no issues with younger women.

        Like


  7. My notch count is embarrassingly low by most standards and I still can hardly remember most of them. In fact my most vivid memories are from 10 years ago, with a 19 yo that was particularly devilish in bed. Everything since just seems cloudy and unremarkable.

    Like


  8. I believe CH is most right. Don’t search for “sexy bikini teen” or similar in Google Images, you will be tempted to commit illegal acts.

    Like


    • To clarify: it isn’t just that you can find very attractive gals in professional pictures, but many, many amateur teenage girls who take topless pictures of themselves for whatever reason. And that makes you wonder, why can’t I ever meet a girl like that? There seems to be an endless supply of them. It is enough to make for much frustration, and for broken relationships. (That we are able to see attractive people all around us today is considered one reason for why relationships go downhill, and I tend to agree. People believe “I can do better”.)

      This is however due to a common fallacy: you see only the many available women, but not the many, many men who try to get those women. You don’t see the enormous competition you are up against. All the low-hanging fruits are quickly picked, leaving only the more difficult cases.

      Like


    • on September 25, 2014 at 12:35 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      Meh, age of consent here is 15. 😛

      Like


      • If the internet is good for anything, it is good for looking up the age of consent laws. Here is a handy list for the US, state by state. It also includes the crucial information of whether the law includes an age gap provision, or allows for a mistake of age defense.

        The age gap provision is typically 3 or 4 years. If the difference in the parties’ ages is less than the provisioned gap, there is no crime, so for instance a high school senior can share out the bone with his younger schoolmates. There is usually a minimum age at which the age gap provision is no defense.

        I did not know that some states allowed for a mistake of age. Most states do not, so be sure and check IDs. Also, note California: 18 for the age, no provisions for teenage kicks, and misunderestimating the age is no defense.

        Like


  9. It’s the crazy ones I remember most, over 25 years on and thinking back on them still makes me smile.

    Like


  10. most are quite forgettable, including the present.

    Like


  11. This post reminds me of something Richard Pryor said: “A man only remembers the first and last time he had some pussy.”

    Like


    • You butchered the quote:

      “theres only two pieces of pussy that count; your last and your next”

      Like


      • He may have said that too, but he said this on Live at Sunset Strip (I looked it up this time): “There are only two pieces of pussy you’re gonna get in your entire life, that’s your first and your last”

        He then elaborated by saying that a man only remembers his first time he got pussy and the last time he had some pussy

        Like


      • He was high on cocaine that night.

        Like


  12. I felt like I just read poetry

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  13. “As teenagers, we men don’t appreciate the unearthly beauty of our female cohorts.”

    While this may be true, I don’t recommend young men put this into practice, not if they want to have any sexual success with said cohorts. Young men have enough trouble pedestalizing women as it is.

    Like


  14. The upside to this is that when women can tell that only a few girls have made that kind of impact on your life and see how fondly you remember them, they try harder to BE one of those few because they pick up on how exclusive the “VIP” spot is. Women envy the girl the alpha fondly remembers (or is currently seeing).

    The unfortunate flip side once this dynamic unfolds of course is that this can trigger girls to try to make you date them VS just fucking you because they want to make more of an impact on you and figure time spent doing date-like things will help make that happen so they’ll sometimes play harder to get.

    So it’s worth experimenting with telling girls about former girls just to see what happens and learn how to use it, but calibrate it to your goals and be aware that in some situations it can sabotage the lay.

    For example: I’m laying the groundwork for an oLTR dynamic with one of my girls right now and she asked how many girls I’m seeing so I told her 2 (1 is too low and sounds like that girl might be serious competition like a girlfriend, but 2 is just high enough so she knows I have options without being so high that she thinks I’m unattainable for an LTR) and described one as annoying (describing behaviors that this oLTR actually does that annoy me lol) and that I’m planning to get rid of her (so I’m teaching her that I’ll cut loose girls who keep doing what she does (being too flakey)). And the other girl I describe as much more fun but actively encouraging me to date this oLTR girl, the implication being that I talk to this girl ABOUT her which sub-communicates that she’s high value enough for me to let other girls know she exists.

    The end result of all that is that the girl I’m building the oLTR framework with, who’s completely against oLTRs (super jealous monogamy type chick) feels like she’s “above” these other girls and that she’s potentially one of the “emphereal few”. So instead of getting pissed at me for banging other girls, she’s slowly becoming cool with it because they’re all lower on the heirarchy than she is…from her perspective those girls don’t have a shot at being one of these few VIP girls (and thus aren’t a threat to her position with me if we enter an actual oLTR) but she also feels like she DOES have a shot at being one of the VIPs, so she instinctively wants it the same way girls want to get into the exclusive club no one can get into, or want to land the guy that no girl can land.

    My point is that this dynamic can sabotage you at times but also be used as a tool at other times if you experiment with it and learn to calibrate it. Try telling a bunch of the girls you approach about how you’ve given up on relationships and tell them the story of “the one that got away” and observe their reactions. Tweak HOW you describe the one that for away, in a positive and negative light, and observe the difference in reactions and analyze why exactly those reactions change.

    Like


    • (side note: I don’t actively recommend answering “how many girls are you seeing?” with an actual answer, it’s generally better to just lol the question away and keep the hamster mystery going but it can be used to lay some solid groundwork for framing an oLTR (one-sided oLTRs are my current fixation) which is why I answered it at all…also I told her the girl who’s encouraging us to be together thinks she’s sexy so I’m using this to also test the potential for banging girls with her lol just wanted to point this out cause I know proper game is to not answer these “how many girls are you seeing?” questions seriously but if you’re using the answer to progress things forward then it’s okay…the problem is a lot of guys will answer that question just because they think they have to and not because they’re actually trying to take the relationship dynamics anywhere, so they’re voluntarily giving up mystery for no benefit VS giving it up for a specific benefit)

      Like


      • @yareally “How many girls are you seeing?”

        I get this question a lot from my mLTRs and I brush it off. The funny thing is that they think it’s something ‘awful’ like three or four

        If they only knew the real number is closer to fifteen / twenty in a month, I wonder how they would react. Of course to women having this kind of drive for variety is something they can’t even fathom, so it would never occur to them that it could be that high

        Like


      • @YaReally

        How does a guy get in touch with you for advice? I have read through a ton of your stuff on your archive page and love it. I am starting to hit the scene pretty hard and would love to hear your opinion on how I am doing out in the field.

        Like


      • “If they only knew the real number is closer to fifteen / twenty in a month”

        prositutes and cam girls don’t count. subtract 15/20 a month.

        kant is the wilt chamberlain of guadalajara (in his mind).

        kant pulls more strange than european royalty, billionaires, hollywood actors, pro athletes, rock stars, wall street big shots and the house of saud (in his mind).

        kant will end up with a greater count than alexander the great (in his mind).

        Like


      • Mhm yup 20 a month. Sick bro

        Like


      • Just because you losers don’t get laid doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t

        If you hook up with a few new girls every month, and keep some of them around, it’s actually not that difficult

        Like


    • @YaReally There have been many girls in my life. I was also married briefly. But this post inspired me to think of a flight attendant I met at a party in 2011 just as I was getting into game. Why I think of her is because it was one of my first “cold approaches”. I saw her giving me IOI’s, I walked over to where she was and negged her. Then ran classic Mystery Method game on her. It took 7 months before I banged her. The first time she was supposed to meet up she flaked 3 hours before. I waited until 20 minutes after the designated meeting time and replied: “Oh, just got this…if we ever meet up again you’re buying the first round.”

      I ran pre-selection game on her. Push-pull. Teasing. Finally one night she texted she was in town and was coming over. She invited herself over.

      I banged her a few times. But after that, we became quite close. She is a great girl. We never discussed our relationship. We never had a “talk”. We banged. One day she said she had to stop coming through my city because she was quitting her job and living in another country.

      I visit her once a year when I pass through. I don’t bang her now. But she treats me with so much respect, introduces me to her friends, total DHV.

      I write all this because it was one that was text-book, went well, ended nicely and I still think of her as a great person. She was also relatively drama-free…

      I think about her now because I’m gaming a few girls and realize that there is no need to follow up, call back, ask out again if they cant meet up or see me. This girl took 7 months to bang. But even when I didn’t contact her for a month, when I shot her a ping text she was creaming herself.

      I learned a lot about game and myself from that experience.

      Recently, I was gaming a girl who was sending sexy selfies and baiting me. After she blew me off, I just nexted her. I ran into her last weekend at a party. She was so keen to see me. We set up a drinks tomorrow. She texted me more sexy selfies. We’ll see if she flakes. Point is, I over-think a lot of my “mistakes” when in reality girls flake for a lot of reasons, many of which have little to do with my game.

      Like


  15. Nicely written. CH where did you get your writing skills.

    My fondest memories have been the craziest adventure ones. Sex in the bathroom at a resort, sex in intersting places.

    and zombie Shane please rethink your “buns in ovens” thing and how it fits into modern day society haha

    Like


    • Zombie goes on some wild tangents, and gets repetitive of course, but his point about choosing a sexy, young, stable woman who is emotionally grounded and comes from a strong family background to birth YOUR children can’t really be argued with. If you are looking to have a stellar family that is.

      Like


  16. So what you are saying that a man’s best love will be one of his first couple. And a woman’s best chances at happiness will be in her first couple. I think somebody wrote that down in a book somewhere a few thousand years ago…

    Like


  17. I like this post. Let us never forget that we are wired to love women, even if they are not wired to love us. I have a couple in my past like this, but yes, my distant past. Do they not make women like that anymore or is it purely a function of the cynicism of age?

    Like


    • “even if they are not wired to love us” is MGTOW loser talk. Where’s your scientific proof for that astonishing statement, that keyboard jockeys type out now and then? So women wouldn’t be able to love men? That would be a huge drawback for a people as couples would have a harder time sticking together, which would mean a worse start in life for their offspring. Such a people would be outcompeted by peoples who didn’t suffer from that strange genetic flaw.

      But as luck would have it, science shows that women have the genetic capacity for love, just like men do. Love being, of course, something imprinted in our genes. Science shows this and experience – the experience of those who live normal lives with girlfriends and wives. I know, it’s not something everyone has experienced. And many of those who haven’t choose to infest the manosphere with their abundance of spare time, hoping for an audience.

      Like


  18. on September 24, 2014 at 6:23 pm Alex Jones SuperFan

    >The ethereal aura surrounding one’s first love only vibrates stronger with passing years and passing lovers

    Yes, the loose anti-morals of Western civilization have certainly led us into a world without virtue and thus without magic. Solution:

    Like


  19. Girl sets up dates with guys on tinder and shows up in a fat suit:

    Guy sets up dates with girls on tinder and shows up in a fat suit:

    Like


    • on September 24, 2014 at 8:40 pm Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh

      Just as I expected. The fake fat broad lied about her weight and turned away every dude but the closet homo. The fake fat bro confidently ignored his weight and vibed with each of his Tinder hos, resulting in positive reactions from all of them and even a kiss close from one.

      Like


  20. I am a 23 year old virgin and find it impossible to connect to anyone.

    Like


    • Not sure if trolling, but I was and still am like you in the sense that I have a hard time connecting with people. It’s my natural state to be moody, caustic and withdrawn and I have to make a concerted effort sometimes just to small talk with others. I’m diagnosed with clinical depression and my mother killed herself last year with same affliction.
      So here’s my advice and what works for me sometimes: pretend you are outside of your body watching yourself interact with others. This gives you a sense of detachment, with practice, that will help subvert any anxiety or bitterness that may come across in your demeanor. Try to really seperate your mind from your body, as if you were a corporeal form watching your earthly self go about its business. From there its all about playing a role and calibrating to whatever social dynamic is in front of you.
      Also, it’s important to not come across like people have to prove themselves to you before you give them the time of day. There’s a law of the universe, if you believe in that kind of shit, that says we get what we give. You do something to help someone or make them feel good, eventually you are rewarded for your effort. If you go in looking to steal and covet, it will bite you in the future (and the present, as nobody wants to be around somebody like that).
      This doesn’t mean you have to be some cornball people-pleasing idiot who relentlessly ingratiates himself to others for some kind of payoff. I get it, most people are frankly uninteresting or just downright irritating. Overpopulation anxiety, combined with the current “look at me!” culture can really bring on the depressive funks. But you can’t stay closed off at all times forever and expect any kind of lasting relationships with people. That’s what you need to focus on right now, because scrambling to lose your virginity when you’re in the state you are in will only exacerbate the issue.

      Like


    • on September 25, 2014 at 12:52 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      buznzuzgsalsozkzlzllzzkozihbzhvwsyvbwjd wa

      Like


  21. Great post, seems to have the fingerprints of the original host on it

    Like


  22. Bill Burr explains how the penis acts as a man’s motivational coach.
    The penis may be a motivational coach but it isn’t nostalgic. (from 8:45)

    Like


  23. Crap. From 8:45 here

    Like


  24. thwack

    He was high on cocaine that night.
    ————————————————

    He may have been. But Mr. Pryor was never niggardly when it came to humor.

    Like


  25. on September 24, 2014 at 8:34 pm goodpostgreatjob

    “It’s constant low-level stress to be out in public surrounded by strangers who don’t look like you or speak your language, many of whom clearly embrace bizarre or deviant lifestyles and don’t give a shit what you might consider standards of decent dress and behavior. In that situation your home becomes the one place that feels sane and orderly, so people stay in a lot more.”

    Like


  26. there’s a third group for me. missed chances i redeemed later. they retained the allure from meeting them young, with a shot of adrenaline as you clear off a list of girls you should have nailed to begin with. thanks, facebook, for that anyway.

    sort of weak and multi-oneitis-y, i know, but that’s the truth. i was a beta in action, but was an athlete and appeared to be a bad boy outwardly when i was younger. so there were a goodly number of girls from then that had always been interested that i was too pussy to nail back then.

    anyway, erasing beta losses, even later on with girls that have aged, gives a solid sick thrill and good memory retention.

    Like


    • sort of like wife goggles i suppose. your first memories of them are from when you were young and the way they looked and how they made you feel sticks with you even as you both age.

      i’ve never reconnected from someone from my past like that but you hear stories about people reconnecting after decades and they always mention how intense it is.

      good for you on finally getting the bangs. most of us can only daydream about getting those girls from our youth.

      Like


    • a couple of guys have asked if it’s possible to start over with a girl in an alpha frame once you’ve already had a beta history with her. i’m curious about that too.

      you mention beta losses and that you were beta when you first knew these girls. were you able to come across as alpha for any of them the second time around? or did they all still see you as the beta chump you were before?

      Like


  27. Experience with women and reading Heartiste made me value the girls of my past much less. They no longer hold that nostalgic power over me. I think this also comes from valuing masculine values more (GBFM zzlzlzlol) and now understanding it doesn’t take a girl to complete a man: A man is complete within himself if he has his values, his code, his self-respect, and his wolfpack.

    Molon Labe.

    Like


  28. Some of the best shit you have written in the last two years CH. Nice read.

    Like


  29. Women in their late 30s, who have spent a decade or more in their personal Desert-of-no-Alpha and then, on top of that, begin to experience the fever of the Last Chance to Breed mind-frame – will, if you game them righteously, easily be the wildest and strongest piece of ass you will ever have writhing down on your proud man-hood.
    That does not mean you will later on remember them most fondly; especially if they try to take you to court.
    On the other hand, there must be some kind of enduring value created when a peri-orgasmic woman tells you -in a trance-like moan – straight from her girly hindbrain – “I will do anything, anything you want…”

    Like


  30. This is so deliriously overwritten, I have to admire the audacity of the author. I raise a glass (and a loaded 20 kg. bar) to the man behind this.

    Like


  31. on September 24, 2014 at 10:29 pm What does it do

    In the spirit of women, Mr Mean Spirited on what makes them so.

    http://mister-mean-spirited.blogspot.com/2014/09/in-defense-of-misogyny.html?m=1

    Like


    • on September 25, 2014 at 12:48 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      No offense, but that list is retarded. It was written by some dude who had some idealistic views of women that clashed with reality. Most of those things can be spun into things to be despised about men too(because women do it out of humaneness, not out of being female) and the rest are plain retarded. I think that diatribe could be translated into ‘women don’t want to fuck me’.

      Like


  32. This entry reminds me of Grandpa’s Toast from “Hope and Glory”:

    This speech becomes even sadder when you realize the old man lives with a shrew wife and has a pack of shrew daughters. At least he had some good memories to comfort himself with (even if he couldn’t remember the names of all the girls…..)

    Like


  33. Remember that it is what WE want, brothers.

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  34. I have always resisted the intoxicating allure of an Alpha/Cad/Bad Boy said no woman ever.

    Like


  35. on September 25, 2014 at 3:53 am Days of Broken Arrows

    Can you Tweet about this article that Forbes scrubbed from their Web site? It’s been copied on the Roosh forum. Forbes did this during Banned Books Week (which they celebrated last year) — and IMO erasing history is worse than banning a book.

    http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-40689.html

    Like


  36. We’ve all seen fat moms with skinny daughters; but what is much more rare is fat daughters with skinny moms.

    This is NOT genetics, its cultural. Skinny moms are less tolerant of fat daughters. Skinny moms transmit the culture of “skinnyness” to their daughters.

    Eating habits, exercising habits… the moms transmit and enforce the culture.

    Skinny moms and skinny daughters; fat moms and fat daughters or skinny daughters soon to become fat.

    Has anyone else noticed who rare it is to see skinny moms with fat daughters?

    Like


    • I know of one situation… it is killing the mom. Unfortunately the Dad is a big boy.

      Skinny moms are very troubled by fat daughters… they get SMV even when they deny it or won’t talk about it.

      Like


  37. Hashtag warriors are angry that season two of HBO’s show True Detective has chosen to cast two white males as its lead.

    http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=890445

    Femcunt Jessica Valenti is featured. As are self-loathing whites and white knights.

    As if these people are FORCED to watch the show.

    Like


  38. Of course, this is also the effect that makes Monogamy work when it does. First, best, and only, and everyone involved is happy for life. It’s also why the more divorces one has, the more one is likely to have, chasing the feeling of a first and never succeeding.

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  39. As I read this and the comments it makes me want to ask whether the ones we remember so fondly, were the ones we’d most put on or put back on a pedestal?

    Or perhaps its just that what we remember fondly is something imprinted in muscle memory because it absolutely stirred the chemical cauldron

    Like


    • “Or perhaps its just that what we remember fondly is something imprinted in muscle memory because it absolutely stirred the chemical cauldron”

      i think it’s this. there is definitely a chemical aspect to it. whether it’s in your youth or later in life, some connections are just more intense and meaningful. they come out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks. i don’t know how to describe it but it’s not just sexual chemistry. that’s a huge part of it but it’s not the whole story. lots of girls can make you feel intensely attracted to them but only a few give you that feeling of true connectedness. the kind of connectedness that poets have been writing about since the beginning of time.

      and it is imprinted on your body for sure. as many guys on here have said, even with super high notch counts, there are typically only a couple or a few that stand out. i don’t think it’s all about skill or physical attributes either. it’s something else. and your body never forgets the stand outs. gotta hold on to those ones if you can because you might not be lucky enough to find one again.

      Like


    • Q: What was your favorite piece o’ ass?

      A: The next one.

      Like


  40. Honestly, I wish I could forget them. Her especially. It serves no purpose to wander through a desolate mental landscape seeing ghosts in every corner. Intrinsic betatude doesn’t exactly make for the most fulfilling inner life when realising that despite a typically masculine penchant for objectivity, I appear to lack the emotional fortitude of even many women. I would argue it to be more challenging in certain ways, given that I lack the solipsistic pragmatism frequently observed in the so-called fairer sex, instead confronting the remnants of shattered idealism. Such is life.

    Like


  41. […] There is no male equivalent to the female “five minutes of alpha” heart trap. Men simply don’t experience the same intense urge as women to constantly compare and contrast present lovers to past or potential future lovers.  […]

    Like


  42. im a little late to the party but i wanted to put in my 2 cents about something “scray” and “kane” criticized about what another commenter said about only being able to bond w/ virgins. they said he was “extremely beta” which blows my mind!!!

    black is white and white is black nowadays…do these 2 men and many men being raised in this disgusting culture realize that having that attitude, not wanting a woman who’s not a virgin for many reasons is the reason why we had a civilization and a working society in the first place? do u think men from the past tolerated and defended slutty women, YES even women w/ only one male partner before u! they wouldnt take them seriously and for many good reasons….yes it seems extreme but thats basically the only way u can have a working society, thru social shaming as cruel as it is to women’s feelings…it works and always has worked. most women dont give a damn about and have no true guilt about what they do, they only care to do what everyone else does if they dont get punished for it. they only care about their feelings at the moment, not the big picture. do u guys think women stayed virgins and waited for marriage because they were “good” women? no, social shaming is what repressed them. obviously we dont have this anymore in this country which is why we even have websites like this.

    think about it, when i was a teen in the 90’s, it was still a little taboo (hispanic community) to even have sex w/ ur fiancee…pretty soon that was ok…then it was ok to sleep w/ someone ” because ur in love and expressing that love”, and now its ok to sleep w/ any boyfriend, its just what u do…in 10 years most girls are gonna have porn tapes, naked pics online….and u guys will accept it and will even have guys calling u a “beta” for not accepting it!

    i understand that u cant have an abundance mentality when it comes to virgins because most guys probably wont have a virgin to marry or otherwise. so i think part of that attitude is “sour grapes”, since u cant have a virgin, a virgin dont matter anyways right? and also some of u men have genuinely loved a woman in the past who wasnt a virgin and ur protecting ur ego….ur ego is what gets u in trouble w/ women. another reason maybe that since ur men u genuinely dont think a woman sleeping around is ok and u can love her because u, being a man don’t bond w/ past women like women do. have u heard of “oxytocin”? google it if u dont know. women cant forget past men they slept / and that makes them super-flighty, never satisfied and more prone to cheat. these are the reasons they were damaged goods for most men in the past! they cannot bond like a virgin can

    i think thinking like this in this “extreme” way which by the way is how most men throughout history used to think..is extremely logical and masculine. in fact thinking ” my past don’t matter if u really love me” is a feminine way to think. this is how women want u to think so u can accept them sexual baggage and all…but it dont surprise me to see how men cant think logically anymore, not truly….i think men love women WAY too much and accept way too much from women and women exploit that…do u know there are guys who marry porn stars who still do their “work” and they dont care? i dont think u guys are too far off in how those guys think…

    Like


  43. on October 3, 2014 at 10:04 pm The Chosen One

    Yo, Hearts, your prose has really come together after all these years. I read this blog when you were R^%$$^ and come back every few months to check on your life’s work. I must say, while you have improved, your message isn’t getting to these readers. Holy tity-fuck these kids don’t get it.

    Oh, and I love 19 year old peach more than I did ten years ago. Every year a new batch of state sanctioned tight-skinned, tight-snatched, low-bmi human fountain of youths rise up in the ranks to compete for my [insert new form of communication technology verbage here]. yum. fin.

    Like