Kevin Smith Game

Reader James has a game-related question:

Hey Heartiste I’ve got a question. What do you make of this:

On a couple of occasions I had college age girls strike up conversation with me by telling me I looked like someone they knew. In a third occasion I just recalled while writing this, another college girl struck up a conversation with me while waiting in line at the grocery store by claiming I looked like Kevin Smith of Silent Bob fame (in all three scenarios I was overweight and in all likelihood sporting a homeless person style beard since I was too lazy to shave. I’m also pretty tall, a bit over 6′, but physically that was likely my only positive trait.) whom she was a huge fan of. In one of the bus cases, the girl was telling her fat friend she needed a boyfriend because she was stressed and wanted to “blow off some steam”, and she must know I heard the conversation since they were only a meter or two away from me. Grocery store chick was standard issue swpl, 6-7 by most men’s standards I would estimate. Blow some steam girl was pretty hot, probably an 8. Second bus girl looked similar to grocery store girl, only she had short hair (huge turn-off) so I can’t give her more than a 5.

I figure they were all lame pick-up attempts, but who the fuck tries to pick up a guy who looks like a hobo? so I’m gonna ask some of the experts for a second opinion.

Fame is such a powerful aphrodisiac for women that even the flimsiest simulacrum of it can redound beneficially to a man. Yes, if you look like a famous dude, no matter how physically repulsive that famous dude is in real life, you can score pussy off of your gift. Sometimes this works despite the girl knowing you’re a lookalike.

Kevin Smith may look like a hobo, but he’s famous, and chicks will spread for all sorts of famous men, no matter how dirty, ugly or smelly they are. (The same is not true for men, as demonstrated by the professed romantic travails of ugly Hollywood actresses who don’t get anywhere near the lustful attentions that ugly Hollywood actors get.)

You’ve never seen a woman’s rationalization hamster spin its wheel so fast than when the roided-up rodent is giving a presentation to the Figurehead Ego in the corner cortex trying to convince him that the vehicular meat unit ensconcing both of them needs this ugly, unhygienic, drug-addicted famous guy’s seed pronto.

Figurehead Ego: He’s only interested in a one night stand.

Hamster: We can win him over. And it’ll feel better than that five year grind we had with Bob from accounting.

Figurehead Ego: We’re just a groupie to him, like all the others.

Hamster: We’re not like all the others. Look at how he smiles at us.

Figurehead Ego: He’s going to forget us before the morning is over.

Hamster: We can beat the morning odds with a well-timed home-cooked breakfast. We’ll be unforgettable.

Figurehead Ego: Did you read in the tabloids how he had a different girl on his arm last week?

Hamster: You can’t believe everything the tabloids say.

Figurehead: And how he was in a group orgy with Victoria’s Secret supermodels on his birthday?

Hamster: Mere rumors. Anyhow, those girls are sluts.

Figurehead: And how he got married in a private ceremony last month?

Hamster: He doesn’t love her.

Figurehead Ego: And how he cheated on his wife?

Hamster: Open relationship. Don’t you just love honest men?

Figurehead Ego: And he punched a homeless guy in the nose?

Hamster: He was probably asking for it. Those bums can get pushy.

Figurehead: Ok, but what about his drug addictions?

Hamster: He’s a tortured soul.

Figurehead Ego: His run-ins with the law?

Hamster: His passion sometimes gets the better of him.

Figurehead Ego: The facial contusions he gave to his ex-girlfriend?

Hamster: Oh god.

Figurehead Ego: What?

Hamster: I just tingled.

Figurehead Ego: Yeah, I could feel that seismic shift all the way up here. What about the shit smell emanating from the seat of his pants?

Hamster: I don’t smell anything. But if I do smell something wafting delightfully under my nose, it must be his musky cologne. More men should be so confident to wear such unapologetically masculine scents.

Figurehead Ego: And the flies buzzing around his head? It looks like he hasn’t bathed in a month.

Hamster: He’s in touch with nature.

Figurehead Ego: And the yellow stains in the pits of his t-shirt?

Hamster: He doesn’t care what people think of him. So sexy!

Figurehead Ego: He just farted in front of you.

Hamster: Authenticity.

Figurehead Ego: And I suppose you’re Ok with the log he left in the toilet.

Hamster: It looks like Jesus.

Figurehead Ego: Or that he’s a D-lister who hasn’t had a profitable hit in ten years.

Hamster: He’s FAMOUS. Didn’t you see the TMZ photo of him pissing on the front steps of that rape crisis center?

Figurehead Ego: Or that he’s going absolutely nowhere in life.

Hamster: But I love him.

Figurehead Ego: And his dick is rumored to be small…

Hamster: It’s all I need.

Figurehead Ego: …and he’ll come in two seconds.

Hamster: I’ll come in one second.

Figurehead: And you can forget about post-coital cuddling.

Hamster: Not when he sees what a catch I am. He’ll hold me forever and ever and never let go.

Figurehead Ego: You tired yet?

Hamster: NOPE.

Figurehead Ego: Look, let me put this to you straight. He’s going to use you as a convenient hole to get his rocks off. He will demand ass privileges (something, need I remind you, you haven’t given to any man before, even your ex-husband) and you will get nothing you want in return. He will, if the drugs don’t first kill his erection, face fuck you until you’re gagging and tasting hot tears. He will then kick you out of his hotel room, with perhaps an autographed pillow mint as a consolation prize. He’s not going to call you back. He’s not going to take your calls. He will pretend he never knew you when people ask. He doesn’t love you, he never will love you, and he will never marry you, buy you a house, or (knowingly) have children with you. In fact, it’s very likely he will despise you approximately fifteen seconds after he has unceremoniously deposited his demon seed in your ululating vagina. Afterwards, men you actually have a decent shot at winning commitment from will hear of your slutty reputation and avoid you like the plague. There is nothing in the world you can do to alter this guaranteed outcome. Second thoughts?

Hamster: Aren’t these garden flowers pretty?

Figurehead Ego: I give up.

Hamster: OMG, he’s pointing at me. And now he’s pointing at his crotch. *SWOON*


So here’s my suggestion to you, reader, the next time a girl mistakes you for Kevin Smith. Run with it. What’s that, you say? You’re ethical? Tough shit. Go home and play with your Epictetus.


  1. Silent Bob did have some alpha attributes, standing by the Quickie Mart he’d stand proud, feet spread, head up, rocking to his own tune. Didn’t feel the need to explain himself to anyone unless the situation dictated he needed to talk. Silent Bob: Alpha.


    • Yeah but if you’re ugly and have all the traits you mentioned women’s rationalization hamster will go the other way.

      His confidence would seem like unwanted cockiness. He’d stand proud but she’d just ignore him. He wouldn’t talk and no one would talk to him.

      Girls don’t want to fvck Kevin Smith because of any preconceived notion of alphaness, just for fame.

      But I guess maybe you can count fame as a sort of alpha attribute, but I can assure you girls wouldn’t give a fvck if Kevin Smith was standing proud and tall or a complete pansy, just as long as you have some sort of fame, you’re good.


      • what’s the problem with you guys? Fame make you proud and erotic.
        Fame = pussy
        pride = pussy
        erotic = taking action
        sure win.
        And looks matter yes, UNLESS it is compensated by a ver high level of game or. . . .
        “I’m gonna live forever, Im gonna learn how to fly FAME!
        People remeber my name!remeber remember!”


      • But you can become famously locally by getting your apartment to be the local college hangout or high school senior hangout (just for girls with no other guys allowed). Let the girls know that admission is limited and you’re the face control. One woman can be added to the mix every week via pre-selection. Soon, girls are dying to be invited. Friends of friends are stealing kisses with you in the kitchen even though you might be the ugliest host imaginable, because they want to move to the center of the in crowd. Fame is merely pre-selection on an economy scale. Famous guys have you beat in the macro environment, but in a micro environment, you can become “the guy to know”.


    • Silent Bob was a Sigma.


    • Silent Bob WAS THE proto-symbol of
      The GenX dude.
      Alpha by default on account of retardation.

      If you’re too stupid to realize you shouldn’t stand on the traintracks
      it does NOT mean you’re “brave.”

      Now, GenX Bob is 40-ish, fat and STILL stupid.
      Fatal combo
      That’s why THEIR 20-something kids make them look like geniuses.


  2. In a computer game there are 3 kinds of treasure, whites, blues, and yellows. Blues are 10x rarer than whites and yellows are 10x rarer than blues. No matter how good a white treasure one rolls, it is never as good as a blue. The best blue is never as good as a yellow.

    In a woman’s mind, this mapping is mirrored in the famous, the rich, and everybody else.


  3. Fame is the ultimate high-status, a modern replication of the top silverback gorilla in the pack. But it sort of is a mystery how the aphrodisiac effect extends to such poor specimens. Validation by the media maybe being something like pre-selection? If the modern media beast has elevated Joe Loser to celebrity status, he must have some magic going on- the way religion and other ceremonies/rituals (coronations, etc.) can transform perceptions. But since we’re talking abotu arousal, it’s probably a good deal less complicated than that,.

    Also, when the hamster gets tingles, you know bones are about to get jumped…


  4. I must’ve been a betaly betalot because a few years back, I’d go out and groups of girls would approach me, “you like so and so, an actor on a teen angst WB show.” I played it like, “yeah, that’s me,” or “wow, how cool,” or “uh, what’s that mean?”, and everthing in between. I screwed something up because nada. wtf.


    • I got bullied hard in middle school, then grew up quick before showing up to a different high school in grade 10. The amount of poon I inadvertently turned down…. Daaamn I’m horny just thinking about it. I used to think some girl would drag me into her bed, it’s like, dude, she dragged you to her front door, how much more of an invite did you need??

      High school and college are wasted on so many guys, it’s a fucking tragedy.


    • In my late teens and my early twenties, I kinda gotten used to random girls eyeing me, giggling and approaching because I look so much alike this heart-throb local actor who used to play matinee idol roles on local tv and movies. Not much ever came out of all that attention thrown my way because I was very introverted and if girls won’t make it really easy for me, I wouldn’t bother with them and just continue doing my own shit.

      Then that actor died in some car accident and everyone forgot about him. My look-alike status went to the grave with the poor sap.

      Post-game, it’s one of those missed-opportunity item in your bag of missed opportunity items that gets you smiling once you realize how naive you were pre-game.

      That actor played very beta roles, though. Maybe even behaved full-on beta in his real life. Even then, you know … he was famous, for a while. And that fame spilled over to help wet other things besides his dick.


  5. You, sir, should be required to license your writing abilities. These skills are too dangerous for such wide, open distribution.

    I am still laughing. “It looks like Jesus.” Holy shit, is that funny.


  6. “the vehicular meat unit ensconcing both of them needs this ugly, unhygienic, drug-addicted famous guy’s seed pronto”

    so true … I had a buddy who could have a pretty good natural game when he didn’t care about the outcome, girls thought he was attractive, had lots of money … but often would blow himself out by chasing too hard and get friend zoned. 1 example was a TV show he was working on in the production dept. Was chasing a girl pretty hard, she explained that she had just gotten out of an LTR and couldn’t handle any intimacy (lolz). Anyhow they did some show w/ “Steve-O” from Jackass and he plowed her immediately after they wrapped.


  7. Fucking standing ovation Heartiste.

    Never have I read more beautiful, more apt and more succinct prose that describe the Rationalization Hamster to a tee. These two are the best characters ever invented.

    What the fuck is a figurehead Ego btw, can we name it something that the laymen can understand, maybe ‘Forebrain Voice of Reason’ or something.


  8. Wonderful.


  9. How do you handle the crash-and-burn (aka when she finds out you are not the person in question)?

    I think it’s better to evade: “Oh really? Tell me more about this awesomeness?”

    or something like that. Playing the person in question can only spell trouble when you get caught. Note that I don’t care about the morality of the situation, but just dealing with the fallout would be a headache.


    • Who cares if you’re caught?

      If a girl opens her legs excitedly just because she mistakened you for a celebrity, chances are she ain’t worth shit in the first place.

      Men won’t think any less of you, that’s for sure. If anything they’ll find it funny.


  10. So true about the look-a-like fame thing. I’m a good looking guy to start with, but I can count at least a dozen times where women approached me at a bar to state that I looked like Twilight vampire Robert Pattinson. Because of these preconceived tingles it was like fishing with dynamite; not fair and too easy.


  11. on June 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm Newly Aloof

    Even feminists will laugh at this literary art work. Damn funny!


  12. on the other hand, you probably don’t want to be mistaken for this famous guy:


  13. on June 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm Laguna Beach Fogey


    I almost spit out my poolside Gin & Tonic.

    Well done.


  14. Damn, I was just going to use “ululating” in a comment a few days ago, and decided I’d save it till later… a wonderfully descript word!


  15. So true.

    I once got laid within the space of two hours of meeting a chick who kept insisting I was Gary Shandling, who isn’t exactly a sexy guy.

    I keep resisting the Woody Allen comparisons, but this has me thinking I’ve probably cost myself a lot of sex.


  16. I’ve dated girls who told me initially that I looked like:
    1. Timothy Dalton
    2. Tom Cruise

    In the first case, I acted outraged and claimed I was better looking, in the second I just smiled and asked her if she had a poster of him over her bed.

    Basically, just acknowledge the compliment, but don’t make much of it, then immediately ramp up the conversation…


  17. This one hits home. I was a look alike in college , and even sound alike apparently. Unfortunately I was , to make it short, quite religious at the time.


    • Try telling this to the rest of the manosphere like over at the Spearhead where most guys insist on being religious as if “religious men” haven’t had a voice in the American media for decades.


  18. You way, way, way, overestimate the value women put on the a possibility of a relationship when going after a celeb. I once read a story about a rock star who got a blowjob on a plane from a strange woman who was being met at the airport by her husband. It’s all about quality notch count, I slept with a star, I’m so special!


  19. Hamster: It looks like Jesus.

    Comedy gold. You may owe me a new keyboard if I can’t get the coffee out…


  20. There was a time when I bore a striking resemblance to horror author Stephen King. Who (at that time) was one ugly dude.


  21. Funny, but you made one mistake in the Figurehead Ego commentary: a “true” Alpha only keeps track of the hottest chicks he’s bagged. I used to work with a natural, a guy who was so good at getting his targets that he could get HB8s and higher when surrounded by “better” men (eg. I met him in Germany. German women go crazy for black guys. He is a 5’8″ white guy. He would out-alpha 6’+ tall black guys on a weekly basis.) Long story short, if you ask him his number of women fucked in his time in Germany, he’ll tell you, “20, in three years”. Despite the fact that I used to watch him walk off with different girls twice a week for 8 months, his number was always 20. This guy, no joke, only remembered the “hot” girls, the girls who were attractive *and* who had to be pursued. For him, Random “Kraut” Pub Chick Number Whatever, who was willing to blow him in a bathroom stall after sharing his drink, wasn’t worth remembering (even if that girl went home with him, made him breakfast in the morning and offered up her friends for threeways.)

    Then again, I’m no better. I had the “tall black guy” Alpha bump in that country, fucked a Hell of a lot of women, can only remember the excessively buxom (as in waist under 28″ and breasts over 38D), the excessively tall (as in, over 6’2″) and the ones who offered up friends. Ask me how many women I fucked in Europe, I’ll tell you 12.


    • I seriously doubt that german women go crazy for niggers and muds. This kind of thing, just like hanging with guys 25 their senior, usually indicate mental problems or a low IQ.


  22. “has anyone told you that you look like so-n-so?”

    “only when they’re trying to get in my pants”


  23. Slightly OT, but I can’t wrap my mind around this one: black writing.

    There is something so deeply wrong and troubling about it. I can’t put my finger on it and need help.

    Consider this, from Dr. Boyce :

    ” Do you want to pay child support for the rest of your life? Let me answer that question – no you don’t.

    Terrell Owens once thought it was a GOOD thing that he had as many women as he wanted. Now, he’s slowly realizing that his blessing has turned into a curse. The man who once had money to the ceiling is now taking a bath in his own pity party. Terrell didn’t plan, and all the other dudes out there making babies like there’s no tomorrow will also expect someone to feel sorry for them years later when they are broke, busted and disgusted. The truth is that I don’t feel sorry for them, and if you make the same choices, the world won’t feel sorry for you either.

    Sex is thrilling, amazing and incredibly powerful. In fact, the drive for sex can make a man insane. But as Spiderman’s uncle once said (I really love this quote and I use it all the time) “with great power comes great responsibility,” and with manhood comes accountability. Little boys have no business having sex with anyone, so when you share yourself with a woman in the future, you must make sure that you’re thinking like a man.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. ”

    Sound like about an averagely intelligent eight-year-old boy trying to sound smart, right?

    Not sure what to think.



  24. on June 27, 2012 at 8:29 pm DevastatinglyFemale

    silent bob look alike?! seriously, what’s next – mike from mike and molly?! …can’t decide who’s hotter, him or his impresarios walking around…


  25. “Hamster: It looks like Jesus.”

    You’ve outdone yourself this time Heartiste. I just had some coffee squirt out my nose…


  26. Not all celebrity look alikes will get laid. The celebrity have to have some alphamess that gets transferred. For many years I look like milton from office space. All I got me was my stapler stolen.


  27. So being told I look like Richard Gere (that was 20 years ago), and Bobby Flay (recent, 4 times in 4 different parts of the country) is a plus?
    My reply to the first one was along the lines of “minus the gerbil, of course”. Crap, should have followed up on those a little harder.

    The Bobby Flay thing, still haven’t figured out if that’s a plus, but if Silent Bob can work, than I figure what the hey! I’ll try “I may look like him, but I’m a lot more fun to have dinner with”. Since I’m outcome indifferent (I’m married now), I can run hypothesis testing on it.


  28. Here’s an example I wished I’d followed.
    Some years back on a tabloid show a pudgy Caucasian fellow asked this question, “How important is it to be thought of as being important?”

    He took the TV crew to Mann’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles.
    The camera was hidden and recorded his arrival in a borrowed Black Dodge Viper.
    He parked at the curb and strut out, like a peacock, in boots, unbuttoned shirt, sunglasses. He just looked around kinda impatient, checked his borrowed gold watch and sighed disgustedly shaking his head at some unseen nuisance.

    A few moments passed and some tourists gathered around him, murmuring to themselves. He continued to look impatient and finally a cute Asian lady tourist approached and asked him for an autograph!!
    After that a few Americans approached and NOBODY asked the obvious,” uh excuse me, but uh, who are you?” but they wanted his autograph too. He complied then checked his watch and hurried back into the Viper and drove off leaving the awestruck peasants in awe.

    The host narrated the hidden camera recording and he’s laughing at what some people will believe. This was captured on hidden camera w/out the camera crew suggesting the fellow was famous.

    Moral: Whatever you do in Life, Do it with confidence and the world will believe you.


  29. “In a computer game there are 3 kinds of treasure, whites, blues, and yellows. Blues are 10x rarer than whites and yellows are 10x rarer than blues. No matter how good a white treasure one rolls, it is never as good as a blue. The best blue is never as good as a yellow.

    In a woman’s mind, this mapping is mirrored in the famous, the rich, and everybody else.”

    So much game of life evolutionary truth here……


    • I don’t think so.

      More like a classic case of projection.

      Sadly. there are pathetic betas out there who will fall into the role.


      • It would be interesting to see how high the incidence of depression is for men (using the term loosely) in relationships like that. Gotta be waaaay above average.

        “Nah, I love watching my wife sleep with other men. It’s all this other stuff that makes me want to kill myself.”


      • It’s high.

        Isn’t a ridiculously high percent of crimes of passion involving a cheating wife?

        It’s to that reason why this Susan is full of shit when she says she makes marriages happier. There’s major selective bias anyways – only pathetic betas who fetishize cuckoling will seek her out in the first place for consultation.

        What about all of the other guys who get cheated on by their wife? Murder, suicide, depression, bankruptcy and financial/physical/social/emotional ruin.

        And the wife still finds a way to blame the husband.


      • Be honest with yourselves. If you see yourself as a provider, a “dad” instead of a “cad” – don’t get married.

        Rather seek children, whether through egg donor, a woman who herself is cravin a baby, or otherwise.

        Psychology has already unveiled that you’re fucked. Remain a provider to your offspring and offspring only.

        [heartiste: an interesting question is whether it makes more sense for an alpha cad to get married (should he desire to do so) because his dynamic with women is established in such a way that they won’t feel the urge to exploit his goodness through the use of threats and punishments that women normally deal out to provider betas.]


    • yeesh!

      did you read that load of drivel? what a recipie for disaster!


    • The author of that blog is extremely biased to the point of a fetish, but it’s true, women in relationships are actually more desirous of alpha males than single women. There was an earlier chateau post that provided empirical evidence.

      Its more crucial for married guys to have game than single men to this extent. It’s tough out there with hypergamy unrestrained.


  30. I’ve just found when you don’t give a fuck because you aren’t looking. Chicks pick up on that. Must be hamster meth.


  31. “she had short hair (huge turn-off)”

    Then you have the occasional man who likes short hair. Like me.

    SouthTX, I am not quite sure what you are saying, but I have unwittingly got women to sit up and pay attention by simply not even looking at them and being cold in the interaction. Quite strange.


  32. Hence the joke: What’s the worst thing a woman could hear while giving a blow job to Willie Nelson?

    “I’m not Willie Nelson.”


  33. on June 28, 2012 at 1:31 am Original JB

    “ugly, unhygienic, drug-addicted famous guy’s seed pronto.”

    Haha…that’s Jason Mewes game, to be precise.


  34. I am very glad for the red pill. The blogs give me a chance to vent in my downtime. But beware. Be careful in real life. Men either form coalitions or fight like dogs.


  35. Having seen the hampster I don’t care.


  36. All my life i’ve been told that i look like people other than myself

    The singer from underoath
    famous bmx rider, Ty morrow
    and most recently when i had my beard and i’m only 19. a “Good looking” Zach Galifianakis

    I seemed way more confident when I had the beard, although it was ugly as fuck. Maybe it was the I don’t give a fuck attitude that came with it? girls responded to it, asked about it. Seemed to overall be a cooler kind of person with it.



  37. Women like famous men because they, presumably, have choices. If they choose a woman, even if it’s just to use as a wet hole, she will relish being chosen OVER other women. The more famous he is, the more women she was chosen over.


  38. …chicks will spread for all sorts of famous men, no matter how dirty, ugly or smelly they are.

    I’m Lemmy Kilmister from Mötorhead, and I approve of this message.


    • on June 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm Rick Derris

      Damn – he was one UGLY human being, but he nailed Lita Ford when she was a hot rock slut and not the old hag she is today.


  39. Hey Heartiste, check this out: The Gospel of Alpha just got posted on the world’s largest comedy site!


  40. […] um macho alfa? olha as benesses da fama… Like this:LikeBe the first to like […]


  41. on June 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm drunicusveritas



  42. on June 28, 2012 at 12:24 pm LisaBloomIsACunt

    I look like a famous actor, not close enough that ppl mistake me for him, but I could be his brother or cousin. Any creative ideas on how should I use this?


  43. *clapping* LOVE IT!!!…… LOVE IT!!! – Pure Platinum!


  44. good stuff man, need a little help

    There’s a 20 y o “ripe”(lol) chick in my martial arts gym. My friend had dibs on her so I couldn’t pursue her. Anyways he got her number an fb and drops her home after class. Now the other dag I was busting his balls on something and she was right there. She kept on defending him( even tho I wasn’t talking to her) and kept saying stuff like I don’t see you doing anything and I won’t take ur side blah blah, even tho I wasn’t even talking to her. So is she defending him or is there something else at play?


  45. Seems absurd but consider the amount of abuse men take from given hot girl. The female of our species is mystified that a girl with no merits at all other than T&A will shake and bake us. How is it we can fall for something that just looks good and has neither fame of fortune? Fame to them is like naked hot chicks to them. Just as we would be happy with just 5 minutes over a life time of häßlich haus frau so too is 5 minutes with alpha fame.

    It sucks to be a faceless chump, bout as much it sucks to be an unsalvageable female wreck that no dental work, boob job, rhinoplasty or liposuction can rectify.


  46. OT regarding oneitis

    I was wondering if this is a unique weakness of mine or if it touches on a general truth.

    I would categorize myself as an upper beta or lesser alpha on a good day and don’t have a problem getting with the ladies. Also I don’t generally really fall for a girl that I am sexing. I am fond of them and all – but remain unimpressed at the core.
    But the few times it happened (about 3) it was for the cute but not beautiful dorkish types with pleasant personalities but not much “allure”. It seems that I let my guard down much quicker with those girls where I feel like I have the upper hand and suddenly I find myself texting three times within the hour to see what she’s up to.

    What do you guys think? General trend or is it me being a pussy?


  47. I met up with a woman one time who brought her friend and some guy whos total schtick was that he was the brother of one of the most famous singers in this country. He was so full tilt boogie beta and clingy towards her I could see her be physically repulsed by him. I fucked them both he disappeared into the ether. So in this case brother fame didn’t get him the woman but it did appear to most of the time. The fact he didn’t have anything to say beyond who his brother is drove her into my gaming arms.


  48. on June 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm Rick Derris

    Kevin Smith look-a-like d00d should’ve dropped the lyrics to the song BER-SER-KER! on her:


  49. i just wanted to give advice to girls because I have a Daughter. You chance of being loved falls off the cliff past your first Love. Don’t get me wrong. Men love party girls. But Men become calloused.


  50. I recall the time in high school, in response to somebody’s question about something like ‘who do you find sexy or good looking’. a girl says ‘mick jagger’ everbody starts looking at her strange, and she says ‘what…I thnk he’s cute’
    no more doubt that looks ain’t everything, lol…


  51. Silent Bob = Omega Male
    I wouldn’t call a girl saying you look like Silent Bob a pick up line. You mentioned you were overweight and didn’t shave because you were lazy. The girls on the bus were probably just comfortable talking that way around you because they didn’t even consider you a candidate. That being said, some of the most outragous comments I have made towards women are the ones I already confirmed I wouldn’t fuck.


  52. this is genius


  53. I’m totally gaming my aunt right now… She sent me a birthday card and I didn’t even say thanks for it lol


  54. […] Heartiste – Never Listen to A Feminist’s Opinion . . . , OkCupid Corruption,  Kevin Smith Game, Feminism Is Making Americans […]


  55. on July 1, 2012 at 1:54 pm Rick Derris

    GBFM has warned us of the girls who have been butt-THexed by F*ckerMax, but his warning must also include the other holes.

    Also note the rationalization of how 37 dicks does not make one a slut:


  56. in-fucking-credible.

    reminiscent of old-school writing style.