Ass Game

Being a soldier is no guarantee of alphaness. Take a look at this photo sent in by reader keirin:

This is very beta body language. The ass is clearly turned off by this man’s approach. The leaning in is the obvious tell; he’s all up on that ass while the annoyed ass is about to tip from avoiding his overeager one-arm hug. Nothing will kill a pickup faster than forcing a phony chumminess on an ass. Except ass rape.

Also note his feet and how his toes are pointed inward. The pigeon-toed stance is a leading indicator of awkward betaness. The ass’s hooves, on the other hand, are assertively pointed outward. Powerfully alpha. It’s as if the gender roles are completely reversed, and the ass is the alpha male here. The soldier’s helmet propped at a jaunty tilt is a little bit douchey. This might work on Jersey shore asses, but not Afghani ones. What he’s doing right: his left hand is holding an imaginary drink at the proper, waist-high level. His sunglasses and flak vest are acceptable peacock gear, but his smile is try-hard. I hope he at least approached from the right angle. A surprise approach from behind could result in a swift kick to the nads.

The ass is not smiling and looks pissed at having to pose for a photo with this beta. The ass scans the valley for a Taliban cockblock savior, or perhaps a stray mule. Judging by the colorful blankets and entitlement complex, this ass is an attention whore, and thus not worth anything more than a barnyard pump and dump.

Conclusion: No ass for you! Next!





Comments


  1. 20s Russian Trophy Wives

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-09-01/russian-girls-invade-the-hamptons-in-hopes-of-becoming-trophy-wives/full/

    Many will do this for free too…ss i have chronicled all summer

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  2. Very very funny! Knowing self-parody; a sign of security and confidence. Not just for the author(s), but the whole community. Take that, haters. (Paging CL and SP.)

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  3. on September 3, 2010 at 11:25 am gunslingergregi

    Your gonna die biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttccccccccccch!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. on September 3, 2010 at 11:26 am gunslingergregi

    Actually looking closer the legs still look better than the bitches from other picture. I don’t blame him.

    Plus yea he probably hasen’t been near a fuckable woman in a while.

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  5. Dude, the literal-minded girls at LR’s blog — and their beta flatterers — are SO gonna call you out for advocating bestiality.

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  6. on September 3, 2010 at 11:30 am gunslingergregi

    Come on now you would be nervouse if it was your first time trying something too.

    “cough”

    “Apocolypse”

    “cough”

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  7. PS

    I notice the ass is a white ass.

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  8. I would be so turned off if this was my husband and he sent this picture home to me.

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  9. on September 3, 2010 at 11:34 am gunslingergregi

    Course you may have to look at a previous scenerio maybe the ass was married he he he

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  10. on September 3, 2010 at 11:36 am gunslingergregi

    ””””Laura
    I would be so turned off if this was my husband and he sent this picture home to me.
    ”””’

    Sure you wouldn’t get a slight jealousy tingle?

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  11. Of course you know what inevitable comes next… NSFW

    The donkey makes the ass his bitch :0)

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  12. Stupid hypergamous ass. Too good for the G.I. beta provider. Must have been hanging around American bases too long.

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  13. PA

    Dude, the literal-minded girls at LR’s blog — and their beta flatterers — are SO gonna call you out for advocating bestiality.

    Good one.

    haha

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  14. Whatever. That ass should be happy to have been liberated. Give it up like a French whore, party like it’s 1945!

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  15. I tip my hat to you, Chateau, for having large enough brass ones to do a self-parody of so many of your blog entries.

    Been following you for three years, and it just keeps getting better!

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  16. Hahahahaaha!

    Hilarious, yet true!

    Body language I think is the sole thing most important of Game. You can do whatever you want, but if you communicate with your body, voice tone and facial expressions that you know what you are doing, and you know how to enjoy everything you do, women´s vajay around you just can´t evade the imminent tingle and gorging with blood, resulting in heat that they have not experienced with any other man.

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  17. I dunno, I found that ass’s facebook page and the ass and the GI are totally on-again, off-again. I think in this photo the GI is apply fake-beta provider game.

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  18. I bet that ass gets around. Everyone in the village has had a turn.

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  19. LMFAO!

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  20. Pretty sure that guy is a translator / hired local national, not a soldier. Just sayin’.

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  21. on September 3, 2010 at 1:17 pm Cannon's Canon

    beta body language is inexcusable. helmet is slightly off-kilter but watch game needs work

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  22. that’s pretty good.

    the guy gets credit for staging a funny picture, inward pointing toes or not. also, those soldiers helmets tend to tilt jauntily on their own, unless they’re really strapped down.

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  23. LOL!!!

    Un-PC humour like this is so sorely missed.

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  24. this picture is why you never lay the fuck on Arab girls – they’re high maint – and have big ears.

    Think Indians – only nicer or
    Asian, but more
    fragrant

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  25. Bravo, roissy, bravo. One of your funniest entries ever.

    That made my day.

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  26. OMGosh, laughing, this made my day, too funny! Even the goat does not like the Beta-cupcake-boy (no offense to soliders, now, gang…)

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  27. I concur with Jackk.

    The uniform is all dorked up. He’s probably a US-hired contractor, interpreter or local hire.

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  28. CR has to be the foremost gender studies sociology prof ever.

    Love it.

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  29. I follow the photographer on Facebook. This picture was taken by independent photojournalist Michael Yon who embeds with coalition troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. You can google him to find his website and work if you’re interested.

    Michael said the following in his FB thread that went with the picture:

    “I cracked up when that donkey leaned away. The man is not a soldier but an interpreter who lives in America and said he has part ownership in some Popeyes restaurants, and so the soldiers called him Popeye. Popeye was okay with me publishing his photos and so forth. He’s a brave man to be trailing around with infantry outfits.”

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  30. Again, false betaness like the dude at the summer festival. Judging by the soldier’s dark skin, shitty beard (special forces?), jacked up grill an no weapon (awww) it’s an interpreter.the afghans and their boys and animals only respect straightforward demanding approaches. The lean is an ass shot test. He wants to be sure he won’t be able to buck haji off him like so many little prepubesent boys before. The Pashto translation is roughly, “grab it and stab it”

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  31. Drinking and posting again, I see. 😀

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  32. traditional ethos: soldiers are alphas.
    don’t buy that.

    for one, soldiers are blind followers. for every one who rises to top ranking status. there are thousands of others who “volunteer” to fill cannon fodder roles.

    sure, the confidence resulting from the adrenalin, the physical training, the brotherhood circle and the uniform gives them extra points. but their willingness to submit themselves unquestionably to the authority of other men (sometimes women) shows the weakness of character and detracts big time from the sexiness. a badass gangster out for himself swindling the world often does better with women.

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  33. see any scheme under which males who volunteer to do ANY dangerous and difficult jobs requiring physical endurance, strength and visuospatial skills arent considered near apex is ludicrous on its face.

    the reductio ad absurdum of all masculinity to banging hot chicks ALONE is a relic of Game only

    it does not hold elsewhere IRL

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  34. if the photo rotates 30 degrees clockwise , this guy would be totally alpha. he would be carrying the little donkey single-handedly and smiling like george clooney.

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  35. All military guys are beta. What did you expect? They bunk with tons of guys, sleep with guys, etc, etc.

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  36. dana

    see any scheme under which males who volunteer to do ANY dangerous and difficult jobs requiring physical endurance, strength and visuospatial skills arent considered near apex is ludicrous on its face.

    the reductio ad absurdum of all masculinity to banging hot chicks ALONE is a relic of Game only

    You are conflating all positive masculine traits with alpha traits.

    Many positive alpha traits are beta.

    Alpha traits regard to dominance. Many times such traits are not admirable at all.

    It’s a human brain wiring problem to lump together admirable/good/alpha. Alphas are at least as often dicks, and betas are at least as often admirable.

    The noble traits of the follower are not the same traits of the leader. Machiavelli would not make an obedient foot soldier, if he had any other option available. And if he had no other option available, he would lack the creativity and drive that defines an alpha.

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  37. Woops.

    Many positive masucline traits are beta.

    Alpha traits regard to dominance. Beta traits regard to duty and service.

    If you mix traits that regard to duty and service, which are paternal and group oriented, together with bravery, you get basically the same thing as a tigress fighting for her cubs.

    It’s admirable, it’s brave, it’s fierce, but it’s not alpha.

    If were are going to use words, we need more than just one huge lassoo for a wide net of concepts. Masculine does not mean alpha. Even brave does not mean alpha.

    Alpha is ultimately about if you are dominant or subservient. In the context of this blog, it’s if you are dominant over your woman sex and soul.

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  38. ””””””CW
    All military guys are beta. What did you expect? They bunk with tons of guys, sleep with guys, etc, etc.
    ””””””

    “sleep with guys” only in your faggot dreams.

    It is the alternate college atmosphere of brotherhood and pals and shit and when they want pussy they get it. It is not a struggle.

    And when you go to club and you have your crew you own it.

    Now the woman on the other hand yea they do sleep with each other. he he he

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  39. This post is proof that the real roissy does write in but less frequently. It’s mostly his minions at “Chateau” that write these days, too much venom in them.

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  40. Ha ha ha! Another infidel caught in the friend zone. She needs a Taliban soldier, a man that know’s what he wants: ASS!

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  41. every culture deserves our deepest respect

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  42. Most of those Russian broads “invaiding” the South Hamptons are probably J-1 visa girls, who hope to entice a wealthy American to marry them. Brighton Beach is crawling with J-1 girls, and if you’re not brain-dead, they’re easy to pickup.

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  43. Nice to know Roissy can laugh at himself/them/her/whatever self. Or is it laughing with himself?

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  44. Army guys (enlisted) are a pretty representative cross section of American society. Most American men are beta, thus most Soldiers are too.

    Army guys (officer) are white, college educated and tend to be either very alpha or very beta. Not much middle ground. You have your natural leaders and then your nerds who always fantasized about leading Soldiers.

    This only applies the combat arms branches of the Army, don’t know much about anyone else.

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  45. As a soldier, I apologize for the dork in the picture… we were short and needed the bodies. (As a kid, it was insult to say if weren’t for slow-moving farm animals some guys wouldn’t have any love life at all… this dude couldn’t even make that cut.)

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  46. xsplat says:
    “Many positive masucline traits are beta.

    Alpha traits regard to dominance. Beta traits regard to duty and service.

    If you mix traits that regard to duty and service, which are paternal and group oriented, together with bravery, you get basically the same thing as a tigress fighting for her cubs.”

    Basically, being responsible = bitch boy beta. Dominant people ain’t responsible for anything. (Of course, that just eliminates heroic John Wayne types– tossing them into the unattractive “pussy” beta category, upon which they growl “save yourself from them damn Indians and outlaws, bitch” and leave.) Treat folk who’ll fight and otherwise take risk of life, limb and/or sanity for you like a bitch boy, you won’t have anyone to fight for you any more.

    Misandrysts forget that sh*t. Let ’em have the psychos, jihadists, etc. bad boys who turn them on– the burqas, gettin’ the heck beaten out of them, and otherwise treated like crap (tyranny, but who’s counting?) for a while will make ’em remember right quick.

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  47. Ahahhhahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That guy is the biggest beta in a uniform I have ever seen.

    Could the guy try any harder to look stupid?

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  48. ””””(Of course, that just eliminates heroic John Wayne types– tossing them into the unattractive “pussy” beta category, upon which they growl “save yourself from them damn Indians and outlaws, bitch” and leave.) ””””

    Yup the john wayne types getting the fuck out of dodge.
    There is no heroism in killing a bitch for fucking with you.
    Better to hit the road for the adventure.

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  49. funny article but in the comments there is too much overthinking about alpha and beta.

    Alpha = manly
    beta = unmanly

    is as simple as that

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  50. that picture is hilarious…but the analysis is spot on. sub in a chick or even that within a group of male friends….and subconsciously most would know immediately he does not lead the group nor take charge. he’s the jokey, fun guy, who probably makes underhanded/condescending remarks then feigns it off as humor when confronted with his latent catty/bitch behavior.

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