Goading Girls Into Testing You

The shit test — primarily used by women, as so few men shit test women — is much maligned by aspiring seducers and beta chumps. Players have devised countless tactics for recognizing and neutralizing shit tests so that they are not blown out of approaches. But what if I told you shit testing from women is ESSENTIAL to building attraction with them? That, in fact, a pickup attempt that is missing any shit testing from the girl is likely to fail.

Think of shit tests as female indicators of interest. A girl who is sweet and nice and cordial with you is a girl who doesn’t find you charismatic enough to sleep with. To her, you are just another pleasant herb in a sea of herbs who deserves nothing more than her tritest courtesies. Only a fledgling sexual attraction or curiosity can inspire a girl to shit test you, and once she is shit testing and experiencing the thrill of your acumen at passing her shit tests, her attraction begins to liquefy her panties.

Knowing this, you should regard shit tests as a peculiarly female predilection you WANT to provoke, rather than an annoyance you want to avoid. Once you start a girl shit testing, the end game of sex will materialize on the not-too-distant time horizon. It’s yours to lose once she begins her attempts to push your buttons.

Naturally, you may wonder how the average man is supposed to provoke a girl into shit testing him. There are many ways to do this, including outrageous dress, cocky demeanor, flashy jewelry, douchey accoutrements, offensive comments, jealousy plotlines, stupefying openers (see: Horse Girl) and mixed set merges. A simple way to goad a shit test is to be an average-looking guy hitting on a hot babe. After her surprise wears off (she’s not used to it), her instinct will be to test the average-looking guy for traces of the alphaness that he tacitly implies with his bold, uncommon approach. And so for her, because in general a man’s looks don’t factor as much in a woman’s measure of his sex appeal, it becomes of paramount urgency that she tease out his alpha status by fucking with his frame and subconsciously analyzing his reaction.

If you pass her tests, she opens the doors for you to move on to the next phase of her seduction.

Sift through the debris of the comment section and you’ll come across gems like this one from YaReally:

An alpha and a beta walk into a bar wearing ridiculous fuzzy hats. People make fun of both of them to their faces.

The beta feels dumb and makes excuses for wearing his hat and ends up taking it off later in the night because he’s embarrassed.

The alpha laughs and feels bad for anyone who makes fun of his hat because they obviously don’t understand how awesome it is, the poor fuckers.

Peacocking, negs, Horse Girl openers, etc. are all just ways of goading girls into shit-testing you so you can demonstrate that their shit-tests don’t phase you, which is what builds attraction (if you don’t fail her shit-test, you probably don’t fail the rest of the world’s shit-tests). If you’re a nice guy, you don’t get shit-tested, so you don’t get to demonstrate whether they’ll fluster you or not, so you don’t build attraction and stand there wondering why the asshole keeps getting the girl.

Once you fully understand this concept, pickup becomes a lot less complicated. …and a lot more fun. […]

Horse Girl builds way more attraction than most openers because it actively goads the girl into shit-testing him and lets him display his alphaness. There are a lot of deep concepts fused into that opener that most guys reading can’t see because they’re still reading the surface level words and don’t really understand how attraction works…yet. 🙂

This is the proper way to think of the old school PUA advice to stand out from the crowd. Extra tight tees, magic tricks, negs, teasing, pebbles, crazy openers, props and even assholery are best thought of not as a status boosting signal among men, but as a springboard off which women can flirt with you and test your grace under pressure. This is the key to building attraction from nothing.

Men look at hot women and we want. Women look at men and they want to know if they want. Give them the excuse they need to explore your desirability.


  1. Yep. A shit test that you pass is the equivalent of you checking out her rack and finding it good.


  2. Honestly, women are such silly little creatures it’s almost a waste of my time to tease them, except for the getting cheap sex part.


  3. nicee I actually learned something. This is more like an old school post 🙂


  4. Naomi Wolf shit tests reality:


    The dreadful thing about this article is not the ease with which this lunatic feminist lies, but the fact that she is *not lying* when she quotes the manginae of her circle.

    Educated men are almost universally debagged. They are not men.


  5. Russian dude finds creative way to convince chicks to let him grope them:

    Alpha or beta? 😛 (perhaps in this case Putin is a sort of surrogate alpha)


  6. My reservation with this theory is that you although you do want the girl to shit-test you, you still don’t want to do something *too* dorky, just because you think it will illicit a response. If you’re really a fuzzy hat wearin’ kind of guy, then go for it. But bear in mind that for a lot of girls, no amount of alpha pretense is going to overcome that handicap you just gave yourself.


  7. Then Spock would be the ultimate Alpha Male, no? Of course, this is a fictional character, but he’s one guy I can’t see getting tripped up by shit tests.


    • Spock is a super alpha. He could bone any female on the starship, just by lifting an eyebrow. He just doesn’t want to because Vulcan males only occasionally go into heat. As a result the real-world lessons to be learned by a close study of Spock are of limited value.


  8. “Knowing this, you should regard shit tests as a peculiarly female predilection you WANT to provoke, rather than an annoyance you want to avoid”

    During a pickup, this is absolutely true. YaReally’s comment is gold and it deserves to be dignified.
    However, most guys complain about shit tests in a well advanced stage of a relationship. It’s a huge annoyance. A girl constantly shit testing has deep emotional insecurities and personal drama going on. It’s a very bad sign of LTR worthiness.

    [Heartiste: Yes, there is some truth to that. Plus, shit tests do get old after a while, no matter how adept you are at handling them. If an LTR is shit testing a man months or years later, he hasn’t impressed his alphaness upon her as well as he could. Any woman who feels a need to shit test all the time probably nurses a suspicion that she can do better. She has to know that when she’s with you…. she can’t.]


    • “Any woman who feels a need to shit test all the time probably nurses a suspicion that she can do better. She has to know that when she’s with you…. she can’t.”



    • @Matador, thanks for this comment. The girl I’m seeing is constantly shit-testing. or is it complaining?

      The nagging stops when I 1) disappear for a while 2) pass it 3) reverse the frame.

      It seems like she enjoys all this.

      However…it’s exhausting. So yes, understanding the reasons for early shit-tests and for constant shit-tests is very important.


  9. Watch out, women want you to be grateful for the leftovers of alpha bad boys, because they are “mature” leftovers:



    • “You will win out in the end.”

      An old cunt full of dead sperm. Winning?


      • Tis amazing, aint it? Women just dont get it – we want tight young pussy – our boners dont lie. And if the lady gets old and ugly happily taking care of you and your kids then she is the greatest – but if she’s a has-been used-up cunt, some of us may have to accept her because we dont have any better alternatives, but none of us wants her. Tis true, as @xsplat said in a recent thread (paraphrasing here) that hopping on the alpha-carousel during their 20s has not prevented many women from finding a nice beta to settle down with in their mid-30s. But the past is a-changin’ – the future may not be like it. I am betting that many more worn-out hags in their mid-30s (“mature” in the parlance of the crone in the video) will be left high-and-dry with no beta-boy to take care of them in the coming decade and beyond. The future aint what it used to be.


      • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/juliet-jeske/dating-after-divorce-in-a_b_944133.html?ref=mostpopular

        Dating After Divorce In a City of Sluts

        “Since I left my husband I have been unable to do a number of things — the most frustrating lost skill is the ability to date. After nine years in a committed relationship, I have extreme difficulty navigating the nuanced dance that is dating. I have learned I can’t be too direct, eager, needy, desperate, clingy, emotional, commitment pressuring, or baby daddy seeking. I also have to avoid looking cold, aloof, bitchy, mean, shallow, negative or distant. … Then there are the crazy games of when to text, email or call, when to answer immediately, when to act interested or disinterested and when to completely blow them off.

        … I am not slutty enough for New York. … I might start talking to a guy only to see him leave with a woman who has made it perfectly clear that a hook-up is about to happen. A situation I like to call survival of the sluttiest.

        • The guy will call or text when he wants to hookup but that is about it.
        • You are supposed to be on call to wait for the opportunity to see him
        • Don’t reveal too much about yourself, but listen to him complain
        • Don’t expect commitment, or exclusivity
        • Don’t expect any emotional bonding
        • Don’t expect much effort on his part to impress you
        • Don’t expect him to make you feel important in his life

        What I find frustrating is that if you really want to get to know a guy first before having sex with him, it seems like there is no end to the women who will jump into bed with them. … what are we supposed to do when everyone around us seems to be whoring it up? And if people can so easily get no-strings attached sex, and then never see the person again if they choose, why would they try for anything else? … I am really getting tired of being alone.”

        Sounds eerily similar to the life of a beta. As a friend of mine once said, lots of guys in their 20s would be more than happy to settle down with a nice girl and start a family…and women know this and punish them ruthlessly for it.


    • Good god.

      The worst part is that this advice is common and sounds reassuring and comforting to your average beta. I use to buy into it.

      Game on.


    • Either you’ll be celibate until you’re too old to have kids or LJBFed/used by older women.


  10. How to pass a shit test, as demonstrated by the Alpha-Buddah himself.

    Shit Test: “Why don’t you make a grown-up decision right now, accept responsibility, take off those glasses and apologize to everyone that you’ve frightened,..take off your glasses and apologize to us.

    Alpha-Buddah: “I’ll say sorry, but I’m not taking off my glasses.

    Shit Test: “,..why not?”

    Alpha-Buddah: “Because. They’re famous.”

    Shit Test Double-Down: “What would you say to kids who are thinking of partying when their parents are out of town?”

    Alpha-Buddah: “Get me to do it for you.”


    • I think this guy has been honoured with a Chateau post that i couldn’t find. This young dude has real alpha potential.

      I remember guys like this in high school getting some crazy amounts of pussy. They did not impress me, assholes do not impress men, but they clearly impress the chicks. That’s why asshole game is so counterintuitive for us guys who had to take the red pill to see things clearly.


      • This post is about shit-testing – and @matador’s take on the alpha-buddah’s asshole game brings it together: shit-testing is also counter-intuitive to men, since it is foreign to male mating strategy. However, shit-testing is perfectly normal female mating behavior as our host articulates in this post. What taking the red pill (aka learning game theory) does is to help men understand female mental functioning (not female thinking, as there is no such thing as far as sex and relationships are concerned). The usual male reaction (from those who are not natural alphas) to this knowledge is first to be aghast, then perhaps disgusted, and then finally (hopefully) gleeful that there is so much pussy so easy for the taking.

        And this is the point.

        Game and the red pill fundamentally change society even if a very small minority of men get it. Here’s why. In an era of only natural alphas the total alpha sex per woman per each woman’s 20s decade is small. In today’s world, with heartiste and rooshv both loose on the interwebz, the presence of natural alphas is augmented by a non-negligible number of learned-alphas (taught by the jedi-masters: our host, roosh, and others) – indeed I would go so far as to say that the number of learned alphas is already past the number of natural alphas, and is increasing at a brisk pace. This has serious consequences in the total number of alpha-sex encounters per woman per each woman’s 20s decade. That total number is now double the historical average (my guess), and is rapidly headed toward trebling and perhaps even quadrupling (my guess).

        So, its not just a break-down of the patriarchy which @KingA and others have lamented, its much more serious than that. The point is that with increased alpha-encounters by women (coupled to some degree with slightly increased awareness of game among beta and omega men) make gender-relations in the coming decade truly territory that has not been explored before.

        Our host, and others here, seem to think that this is bad, agreeing in part with @KingA and others, that the future is bleak. I am not so sure. I believe that gender-relations will actually improve as a consequence of the red pill – and as has often been the case in history – improvements often come disguised as quite-bad-things (think about the early years of the automobile, or electric current, etc). Exactly how this bright future will unfold, I am not sure, and am eager to learn the views of my brethren here.


      • The only problem I see is a stale and aged peace. The major powers have not feasted on war for too long. A serious conflict, not fought by proxies, and fought for keeps, will clear out the stables.

        Then a new world all the way down the line.–


      • Neither man’s nature nor the forces of geopolitics have changed. Major war in the future is certain – perhaps a war between the US and Russia in a decade or so.


      • Remember in high school, in drivers ed class, when you were taught to turn into a skid rather than turn with the skid? When we’re driving and we find ourselves in a skid our natural impulse is to slam on the the breaks and/or, worse still, to turn with the skid. Everything in our self-preservation instincts tells us to do this, but all it does is aggravate an already precarious situation. However, when we’re taught, and we practice, not hitting the brakes and turning into the skid, often enough we’ll make this our default reaction and we find that the car rights itself, we avoid disaster and continue safely on down the road.

        You have to unlearn the old behaviors and condition new ones in order to right your course. This takes practice and repetition – even in the face of conditions that you would impulsively think would need to be reacted to otherwise.There is no substitute for practice and perseverance.


      • Agree and amplify.


      • What an interesting analogy – turning into a skid …

        And of course, there is absolutely no substitute for practice and perseverance.


      • @Rollo,

        “”You have to unlearn the old behaviors and condition new ones in order to right your course. This takes practice and repetition – even in the face of conditions that you would impulsively think would need to be reacted to otherwise.There is no substitute for practice and perseverance.””

        The first reaction from girls I game is often surprise.

        One girl shit-tested me by saying something like “You must hate me because you always do xxxxxx when you see me”.

        My reaction: “Exactly”

        Her; Wide-eyed shock….

        That push-pull seems to intrigue her more.

        Contrast that with my reaction to the girl I’m seeing who flips out at comments like that and I find myself explaining myself….not good.

        There is a kind of co-dependance in these situations that has to be unlearned or consciously broken.

        The more you worry about the reaction the more invested you are in the outcome and that is sub-communicated to the girl.

        Some girls are more receptive to this reparte than others.


      • IMO, the more guys becoming learned-alpha the happier women will be. If currently women find only 20% of the male population alpha and attractive then 30, 40 or 50%(far-fetched, I know) of the male population becoming alpha and attractive means more supply for women and less fierce competition between them to get an alpha’s attention. How is that not a plus for women?

        [Heartiste: It is a plus, at least over one or two generations. Maybe even three or four hundred. But in the VERY long run, when the Darwinian brain has had time to evolve to the new environment, there will be another sorting out of the top 20%. It’s practically a mathematical certainty.]


      • Asshole game is low-hanging fruit. Any dipshit can do it; in fact, being a dipshit helps.

        Yes, women respond to it, just like women respond to chainsaws. But a woman’s heart can also be carved out with a scalpel. Depends what tools a dude has in his toolbox.

        This is the problem with dogma. We memorize and apply the “Sixteen Commandments” rather than internalize them and riff off their baseline. If you are a boot recruit, you need boot camp, drill drill drill. But once the basics become second nature, you can push the rules stochastically. This masterful improv is often interpreted as a rejection of dogma by students still wrapped up in the heady rush of initiation. For the rest of us the self-appointed ideological enforcement routine is tiresome. It spoils advanced conversations about nuance that are lost on Eager Petey the Pick-Up Puppy.


    • I figured him for a tryhard wanna-be cool guy at first glance but this guy has rock solid composure and his responses were badass


  11. Women will shit test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman’s big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they’re made aware of doing it themselves they’ll still continue to do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence. This is an innate and ‘hard-wired’ aspect of feminine neural software, not some random occurrence or something she’s cognitively aware of.

    [Heartiste: Right, which is why men who are on a mission to stop all shit testing by women are doomed to failure. It’s like asking men to stop staring at a pert, round ass.]


  12. Wait- this is brilliant.

    This is the new foundation for responding to shit-tests with a shit-eating grin– not because cocky-funny is the ‘right’ thing to do, but because you have a secret. You’re In.

    With this lens shit-tests are no longer Pass/Fail exams. Shit-tests are synonymous with sexual tension. Be as unafraid of shit-testing her as you would be approaching her at a bar.

    (If she fails, don’t let her off the hook. It’s a form of supplication, like trying to be nice to get her to like you. Instant attraction annihilator.)

    What’s the difference between teasing and a shit-test? When you tease someone you know how they’ll respond: Positively. With humor. A shit-test is just teasing before you know someone well enough to predict how they’ll respond.


    • That’s true.

      The ultimate shit test is “I love you.”

      The proper answer is “you better.” Maybe raise your open hand if needed, a la Sean Connery.


  13. OT, in March, MailOnline.com told how Monica is reportedly still in love with him and ‘always will be’.



  14. Good post, but can someone explain what exactly shit tests are (Of course I don’t know because it’s all subconscious :P) – only playful, kind teasing or also more serious insults? (like feminism?). (I thought it’s teasing only – where you also secretly try to find out whether the guy is more stupid than you are and how self-confident he is.)



    Someone started a thread at MDA (a paleo diet site) about fatties(mostly female) shaming healthy thin people, and most infuriatingly, thin women (what’s left of them).

    The OP (a Brit):
    “Recently, I have started up a blog with my primal/paleo journey and I share the links on Facebook. A few women I know that are overweight started discussing to me how what I’m doing is highly extreme and makes doing social things extremely difficult. Within minutes it attracted the attention of the other women, they shared their opinions “Why can’t you just eat sensible” “Being a health freak is unnattractive” “Health concious people are so annoying.”

    This shocked me so I started to speak to one of them personally, she said to me that and I quote, “I would rather be ugly and happy then look good by having to walk on egg shells.””

    Small sample of the replies:

    “I have a lot of empathy with the OP.

    I too live in Britain, in the north of England no less, and I do sense that not to be an overweight individual, or to be someone who is healthy and active and well-nourished, is to risk … how can I put it? … somewhat of a pariah status these days.

    I live in an environment where almost everyone is now overweight, and many are obese.

    However, to get back to the point, healthy-ish, non-overweight people are now in a very small minority in my region, and I can sense that my husband and I are treated with a little tinge of wariness because we aren’t like everyone else.

    When I stand back, I think it is tied to notions of social conformity. If almost everyone has high body fat, you are then a non-comformist if you do not and non-conformity has always been a sign of “social threat”, to some extent.”,

    “My GF is going through what OP is going through.

    When I started PB, my GF adopted a few of my habits to try and accommodate my changes, such as skipping over PUFA oils, wheat products and refined sugar. Since Yoshinoya, Subway, Del Taco and a Five Brothers Burger is the only places close to her office for lunch, she either has to cook lunch or make special orders from the above mentioned restaurants (bunless burgers for example). In any case, her co-workers often criticize her and make her feel self-conscious about her decisions. She often feels conflicted but I understand where she comes from.

    She’s the only Japanese woman in her office, the rest are mostly Mexican american and Caucasian. She’s a very petite and slim Japanese girl surrounded by mostly obese women. To give you an example, the closest girl to her in terms of size out-wieghs her by almost 30lbs (they are the same height, 5’4″) not to mention she fits in clothes that other women in the office can only dream of.”


    I am LIVID. This is where ‘fat acceptance’ leads us. Enforced fatness. Nietzsche was right, the Last Man is upon us. Or rather, the Last Woman who is not a cow.


    • Black Crab Syndrome, when I learned of this, my life changed


    • Grok on, is all I can say.

      I help every woman I date lose weight via PB. Most get down to size 2 in months. One went from an 8 to a 0/2 in 120 days.

      100% of them get major flak from their fatty fucker friends.


      • Dating size 8s and getting them to lose weight? The rest of us thank you.


      • Ever think to ask how tall she was?



      • Yes. Thank you A.B. for your community service.


      • Don’t you be a shit-for-brains, either. I actually like your posts.

        Take a gal who is 5’10”, all legs, with a 36″ set of tits, a 27″ waist and 36″ hips, you have a size 8 who gives you more social proof than any spinner, doubly so in heels.

        When she gets down to a 36-25-34 in 4 months and hits that size 2 spot and still has the legs, you keep her away from society.


      • I’m sorry, but I must’ve missed something?


      • I think he was being serious in thanking you.


      • I guess I read it differently, ha.

        I’m up to my ears in fat chicks on Facebook lately asking for advice. I’m ten seconds from wiping that entire beta network out, if it wasn’t a solid income stream.

        It’s getting worse out there, men. My main dame took me to a pool outing with 3 dozen wealthy teens present. 80% of the girls were fat. 80% of the guys were buff.

        When people tell me I’m too lean, my answer is now “No, I’m average. You’re fat.” I can’t keep my trap shut any more.


      • Not that you need to hear it from me, but good for you. My husband and I have been eating paleo for about 3 months now and I work out on a regular basis. I upped my weights and reps and fit into a very nice dress that I wouldn’t have been able to wear a year ago. I wore it to church one Sunday and some of the women that only know me fairly well started talking to me. One of the first things one of them said was “Do you ever eat?” I kept my mouth shut but wanted to say something along the lines of “Yeah, all day long” but decided to be nice. The funny thing is, I am pretty muscular. Their is no way I could look like I do without eating. It was not the time to piss off a group of women.

        BTW, my husband just had an eye appointment and since last year his eyesight has IMPROVED. The first thing the doc asked him was if he changed his diet.


      • I responded to you about the paleo and it’s in moderation. But gotta ask, what do you do? From what I can gather you teach game? Or self improvement? (I didn’t realize you work with women as well.) Obviously, it’s none of my business, but if I am correct, I think it’s brilliant. What a fantastic way to make a living. Though listening to a bunch of fat chicks, who know damn well what the problem is has got to be tedious.


      • BTW, you wouldn’t be drinking Vahalla Java in your avatar pic, would you?


      • “When people tell me I’m too lean, my answer is now “No, I’m average. You’re fat.” I can’t keep my trap shut any more.”

        Good for you man. After I went from fat to thin and got all the negative commentary I was always too polite to let ‘em have it.

        The fat acceptance double standard in North America is staggeringly obvious. I mean you just don’t hear statements like, “You’re really too fat now.” “You should stop eating. I think that you’ve had enough.” ‘Wow, you’ve gotten so big, you really should start running to get that under control.”

        And, on the other side of the coin, we hear the “fat is bad” angle as well in terms of reports about the huge rise in childhood obesity and subsequent ailments like juvenile diabetes etc.

        The fat is bad, fat is good conundrum is totally bizarre to me.

        Fat Acceptance®—Keeping the mental justification and denial games going so that you can stay fat!


  16. There is an exception to a girl’s attraction making her shit-test you, at least overtly. It’s when she considers you much higher in sexual market value than her. In those cases, the girl will be very nice and eagerly engaged, with bright eyes raptly following you, eager to make small favors for you.

    This is especially gratifying if she is good looking and much younger than you.

    [Heartiste: Absolutely. I meant to add this as an addendum to the post, but… I’m lazy.]


  17. So called shit-tests are just tests of your manhood. If you’re a man, get used to them..

    On the contrary, if you’re looking for a shit-test as a means of subconsciously gaining her approval, then you’re already on the wrong foot. Chances are you won’t know how to handle it.

    As an aside, note to distinguish a test of your masculinity from bad behaviour. One should make you laugh; the other should prompt you to turn and walk away.


  18. “Men look at hot women and we want. Women look at men and they want to know if they want.”

    Ouch, someone explain what the hell is meant here to a poor non-English reader.


    • He means men look at hot women and desire them. Women look at men and question whether they can desire them.


    • Men look *at* women’s qualities. Women look *for* men’s qualities.


      • The only quality that a woman’s hamster wants is a man who leads.

        Every other “quality” is fluff after that. Money, looks, power are all fluff — without being a leader, none of it is more than lipstick on a pig.

        Make demands, give discipline and know when to fold. If you can do that, being broke, 5’2″, bald and ugly won’t matter.


  19. on September 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm Todd the Midget

    Hello all, my name is Todd the Midget and I am one month beta free. No need for any unnecessary dribble, but I have made significant progress from betadom. I think, the expression “all the tools, but no toolbox”. This site and the commentary has opened my proverbial toolbox.

    I am new to my current workplace, but spotted this hottie a couple times the first couple days. Anyway, we got assigned to the same group project and it consisted of 6 girls and I. The girls were probably ranging from 6-9, 9 being the target.

    Since everyone knew I hadn’t been around awhile, I figured it would be vital to assert myself early on with everyone. From this blog, I realized that if I assert confidence even in the absence of, it will pay off…….

    And it did. In fact, I essentially became the leader even though I didn’t really know what I was doing. However, between all the shenanigans of productivity, I was engaging everyone equally. I wasn’t giving the hottie any specific attention more than the others because I refused to pedestal. For once in my life, I acted as the prize here.

    I did neg her, here and there… but I definitely need to work on that aspect of game. One of the times, a girl came up with an idea that was pretty good. So I turned to the hottie and said sarcastically, “See, take note”. I did it with a smirk, and in text it sounds brutal but she responded with a playful smile and came up with a addition to the idea (qualifying?).

    Anyway the whole point of this is the close. I won’t tell you how I handled it first, I want to see if anyone cares to read and then comment on they would have handled this:

    (She lives a few blocks away, kinda up some hills. So in nice weather she walks to work. I take the subway in the opposite direction)

    Her (while staring at me with the others packing up their things): I really wish someone would carry me home, my legs hurt.

    How should I respond? Is she trying to bait me into walking her home, or are we going to do the nasty?

    So Chateau, I defer to you.


  20. on September 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm Pontius Pillbug

    Sean Connery passes a shit test from Barbara Walters:


    • That’s good, but what’s really awesome is the response video, which is what Sean Connery really meant to say to Barbara Walters:



      • or …

        I LOL’d


      • on September 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm Pontius Pillbug

        Nah. In the fake one he’s resentful, he’s letting her argue with him, he’s making threats, he’s resentful, he’s complaining, calling her names, etc. He goes on and on, and none of it would ever work to put a real woman in her place. Weak-sister MRA angry-victim-drama stuff.

        That’s not passing a shit test. That’s failing one.


    • Epic video. See her reaction, she could probably agree with him if he kept talking. I’m sure she was ready for a public evisceration, because she expected a beta backpedaling. Alpha wins, always.


  21. yeah, women give tons of ioi’s in the streets and frankly i know it don’t mean shit. think about it, who loves to window-shop ? women. also, notice how they love to give ioi’s when they are with a bf or with friends, but when they are alone, it gets rarer to draw clear ioi’s. they like just to see what’s on offer, doesnt mean they are buying shit.


  22. I can deal with a little shit-testing…some good-natured cocky repartee is fine.

    Just don’t go overboard with it. When it get’s to the place where she doesnt return phone calls on time, ignores you when youre out with friends, etc., then its time to say “bitch, PLEEZ”


  23. I like thinking about shit tests this way. It makes sense to see shit tests as more of an opportunity to show yourself than as a burdensome hurdle to overcome. It’s a great way to differentiate yourself from the herd. From a girl’s perspective, if you can’t stand up to her, then how will you ever be able to stand up for her?


  24. on September 7, 2011 at 8:58 pm fat feminist troll

    Actually for sex I like to dip my clit in hot bees wax and massage my gargantuan udders with coconut oil.

    [Heartiste: You don’t say!
    ps you write like an ugly woman.]


  25. It’s like the objection in sales. Salesmen are taught to answer objections, but the trouble is most prospects won’t even give you an objection to answer, they just blow you off. If you’re at the point where you can actually get an objection, you have a real chance of making a sale.


  26. Some recent shit-tests by girl I’ve been gaming….

    When she’s leaning into me, or giving me IOI’s and I neg her or say something outrageous…she immediately moves away…

    The beta response would be to turn to her, pull her closer or somehow apologize.

    I let her dangle out there in her shit-test ether…then she slowly starts moving closer.

    Sometimes this proximity is a pull back with a shocked look.

    That pull back when she’s embedded in my arm or shoulder is disconcerting.

    My first instinct is to react, to apologize, to explain myself etc.

    Passing that shit test is doing nothing or just simply carrying on with whatever I was saying.

    Another observation. The more you’ve passed these shit tests…the longer the attraction.

    So if a girl has shit-tested and i’ve passed…even if I don’t see her for a few weeks, she’ll immediately be back in my frame when we see each other or run into each other again.

    Before understanding shit-tests, I was struck by the weirdness of female behaviour.

    Now as the posts suggest, when I hear them…I realize…”It’s on…”


  27. Utter drivel.

    You’ve got flighty girls (generally in high multiples in urban areas) who don’t know what they want. I don’t stick around for these.

    You’ve got women who know how to treat a man who knows how to lead his life, and by proxy theirs.

    Both types will shit test early on. The solid women melt like butter when they interact with a solid man.

    I just spent an entire day in hicksville Indiana. There were fewer 7+s there, but the ones I met seemed solid. Young, ripe, uncluttered, without the shit attitude I deal with daily in the big cities I live in.

    I prefer lower maintenance women — and they’re easy to find, to keep, and to maintain.

    Looks, money, power, youth mean nothing except to the cock carousel riders.


    • What you just said makes no sense at all. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.


    • Good post. If a girl starts shit testing me I’ll walk away and leave her talking to herself. I did this not two weeks ago at my favorite happy hour with this hot blonde I was talking to. We were flirting, chatting and just hitting it off in general. When I asked her to come with me and my friends to another bar down the street, she started shit testing me about being a player, about how many girls I fuck every week, blah, blah, blah. Before she knew it, I paid my tab and fucked off with my friends to the other bar, where I met an even hotter blonde who was practically begging me to take her home. No harm, no foul.

      I just don’t buy into this idea that women shit test men compulsively. Women can be every bit as self sabotaging and socially inept as the biggest AFC. I’ve also found that the biggest shit testers are the most self entitled women. Those of you who actively engage women who shit test you, go right ahead. Me, I refuse to waste my time that way. I mean, there are just too many women out there who aren’t retarded and will not make me jump through hoops just to get them naked. In fact, the times I’ve allowed shit testing just to get pussy it always ends up in massive LMR and getting these women naked is like pulling teeth. No thanks. Why anyone would want to provoke them is lost on me.


  28. Projection.


  29. Nothing here but the truth young bucks.


  30. my favorite answer to a girls shit test: “You wouldn’t understand”

    if you are wearing a crazy italian shirt and she asks a question “You wouldn’t understand”…. if she goads…”you’re not sophisticated enough”. If she asks more use a french phrase like “it has that certain j’ne sai pas” totally vapid, inscrutable and belligerantly pretensious.

    other common lines “you can’t afford me”

    to quote goodfellas, be an unconscionable asshole. More profound than an asshole, you are a gleefully asshole.


  31. Monsieur Heartiste, Great post. One of your best in my opinion. I am a sexy motherfucker and when I do my approaches, direct or indirect, I am cocky as fuck. Consequently I get shit tested from hot girls (especially intelligent ones) like some dudes wouldn’t believe. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    If girls are trying to pull you down from your high horse the first second they’ve met you, then that means subconsciously they’ve already realised they are the peasants on the ground looking up at the king on his high horse. Lol. Too easy mate.

    Their detirmination to puncture your ridiculously inflated ego is an immediate subconscious acknowledgement of your higher value. The shit testing is a continuous subconscious attempt on their part to assess your value. Even in a long-term relationship this assessment is perpetual.

    All you have to do is stay in frame, and in their eyes, on the high horse you will remain. If you know you are Lord, they will know it too.

    These days I’m at the stage where the severity of the initial shit-testing indicates to me how easily I can get a same night lay. When you’re a madcunt, you can turn blow-outs into blow-jobs.


  32. does anyone have the link to mike from crime and federalism new game blog?


  33. If you treat pickup like a game, as you put it adversarial in nature – this is the case and a entertaining one at that. ;D

    You meet a girl as close to…how should I say…your natural frame and it makes for an easy LTR.

    The pick up GAME(adversarial) is far different then the REALITY(confined and free form simultaneously) of making a difference in someones life.


  34. A man should seek battle at every turn. Every moment in this life contains within it the potential for conflict. Living for himself, his every action should inspire malice in the hearts of those around him he should pray the Earth itself will conspire against him.


  35. Good post, but for every man there is a different ideal way to provoke shit tests.

    Tell a fat herb to wear tight shirts, a funny hat and use the horse opener and he might amuse a hot women but he’s going to get shot down faster than the Libyan Air Force.

    But tell him to suit up like the G Manifesto, play it Bogart, use some good negs and to tease her, and he’ll have a decent chance.

    It’s all about the congruence


    • Ya, you’ve got to feel that you embody your style authentically.

      I imagine that sometimes we need to push our boundaries, and stretch into a new style – but even then we are exploring an alter ego – which becomes as real as the usual habit.


  36. Verbally jousting with women is fun, and it does, as the host says, liquefy the panties.

    Interestingly, I’ve noticed that the shit testing dies out as a woman hits the wall. I’ve seen this a number of times. One in particular was a heartbreaker–a an attractive, athletic girl of 19 with DD’s that defied gravity, who shit tested constantly, morphed over decade and a half during which she had two kids and a divorce, into a somewhat frumpy, slightly saggy, and very demure woman. No more piss & vinegar, no more challenging statements, or pushy demands.

    I’ll take the hot 19-year old who brings the heat, and enjoy every moment of it, including asserting amused dominance. There’s nothing like actually seeing the moment the tingles begin.


  37. With this opener, I thee goad…


  38. “A girl who is sweet and nice and cordial with you is a girl who doesn’t find you charismatic enough to sleep with. To her, you are just another pleasant herb in a sea of herbs who deserves nothing more than her tritest courtesies.”

    Interesting observation, very true. Although, I’m nice to guys in furry hats too.

    I prefer men who dress well, they are pretty much guaranteed to have some cockiness about them too.


  39. Hoops hoops and more hoops. Pathetic. One rule and one rule only, “I don’t give a fuck”. Pussy drops like rain in Seattle. Out.


  40. on September 8, 2011 at 9:11 am MeWantHoneyComb

    And remember that there’s the universal female “shit-testing” done by rural American females and foreign chicks alike (compliments, flattery, inquiries about your personal life, and the occassional “I love you” episodes), and there’s the female American yuppie/hoodrat/suburbanite feminist way of shit-testing (rolling eyes, ego-boosting, and general bitchiness). Both shit-tests should be passed, but one’s a keeper and the other one’s only worth a pump-n-dump.

    Take a guess which is which?


  41. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-is-average-iq-higher-in-some-places

    Apparently, exposure during childhood to certain infectious diseases explains much of the average IQ differences in populations…

    Flame war incoming…


  42. Shit test received when peacocking one time, wearing light sunglasses indoors to a club, “it looks like youre trying too hard. ” Pre-heartiste, defended self, eventually took sunglasses off. Now? I suppose I should look at it as a challenge and not “helpful” advice.

    [Heartiste: Yup. Hold onto your frame with your life. If you do, you’ll keep them on and answer with something like this: “Barely trying. But you might want to try harder.]


    • “It looks like you’re trying too hard.”

      “Ya. I have to make up for my extremely small penis.”

      Guaranteed she won’t have a clever response to that.

      And now you two are talking about your penis. The community used to follow something like that up with “It’s like a wet baby carrot. You’re going to be so disappointed when we get back to my place.” I would throw in something about not even being able to slap her across the face with it, but I can get away with that.

      Now you’re using future projection to imply that she’s going to be back at your place seeing your penis, you’re showing her your frame is un-fazed by her test, you’re showing humility and that you’re not outcome dependent or trying to impress her, and the conversation is sexual and mind-blowing to her compared to what she was expecting so her hamster is playing catch-up. All in the first 10 seconds of meeting a girl for the first time.

      That’s called game. 🙂


  43. Is there such a thing as a male shit test? I’ve been encountering confusing behavior. First a guy looks my way, initiates conversations with me, and in general gives me signs of attention. And then when I give him signs of attention back, he stops and just ignores me. If game was something widely known, I would guess they are being “aloof” with me, but I doubt all of them were doing that. What the hell can it be?


    • that depends – is he looking at your eyes, or your chests?

      hey wtf is it so hard to post on your little blog. dont be scared


    • This comment reinforces what I’ve been think of as the power of an unexpected takeaway. I half-assedly hard opened a girl in a drunken stupor, “hey you’re (hic) pretty.” She actually engaged my foolishness and I decided that ew, not as hot as I thought and immediately disengaged, turning away. My wing kept talking because as he later explained, no they were hot. But I tell you what, I couldn’t get those bitches to leave, they even said i looked like a PUA.
      As for Emma, most men forget to do any qualifying of the girl, so maybe it’s your IOI?


      • “Not that hot” is probably what it is. When they do this, I just assume they aren’t interested anymore and stop with the signs of attention. But sometimes I wondered if they were playing hard to get and I should continue, but maybe not.

        “As for Emma, most men forget to do any qualifying of the girl, so maybe it’s your IOI?”
        What do you mean? They don’t seem to qualify me, but what does it have to do with the way I do IOIs?


  44. Yahoo! Answers: “Wife wants to experience another man?”

    Winning answer to the Resolved Question: “Get a divorce lawyer.”