The Age Of Flakes

When a girl flaked (i.e., unexpectedly cancelled or failed to show for a date, or screened your calls) on you in the not too distant past, it usually meant there was a lack of attraction or she lost what little attraction there was in the interim between meeting her and calling her the next day. Occasionally, flakes were legitimate consequences of bad logistics or real plans that she had.

But, today, with the proliferation of smart phones and dumb disrespect, flaking has become de rigeur in certain segments of the female population. The NewYorkBetaTimes is on top of the trend (h/t reader M Serious):

Not long before that, Leandra Medine, the 23-year-old fashion blogger behind Man Repeller, sat down at the SoHo restaurant Jack’s Wife Freda and waited for her three friends. As she nursed a glass of wine, she glanced down at her phone to learn, via text, that all of her friends had bailed.

Random missed connections? Not quite.

Texting and instant messaging make it easier to navigate our social lives, but they are also turning us into ill-mannered flakes. Not long ago, the only way to break a social engagement, outside of blowing off someone completely, was to do it in person or on the phone. An effusive apology was expected, or at least the appearance of contrition.

But now, when our fingers tap our way out of social obligations, the barriers to canceling have been lowered. Not feeling up for going out? Have better plans? Just type a note on the fly (“Sorry can’t make it tonight”) and hit send.

And don’t worry about giving advance notice. The later, the better. After all, bailing on dinner via text message doesn’t feel as disrespectful as standing up someone, or as embarrassing.

Social media isn’t bringing us together as its creators and cheerleaders promised it would; it’s tearing apart our humanity. Our social minds have evolved in a face-to-face medium, not a faceless ASCII ether. When you can’t see the disappointment or anger on the face of the person you’re shafting, you don’t feel bad about it. Smartphones feed the shamelessness of our culture.

And it is practically endemic among those in their 20s and younger, who were raised in the age of instant chatter.

“Texting is lazy, and it encourages and promotes flakiness,” Mr. Cohen said. “You’re not treating anything with any weight, and it turns us all into 14-year-olds. We’re all 14-year-olds in suits and high heels.”

Social media is also making emotionally stunted children out of all of us. Or, more precisely, emotionally blank aspie idiots. I wonder if the ability to read emotions from a person’s face and body language is declining in lockstep with the rise of texting and IMing? If it is, as I suspect, then salesmen with cunning social skills will be able to clean up in an environment of over-trusting spergy kiddies. Some of you will be able to see the connection to antagonistic mass diversity here.

Rachel Libeskind, a 23-year-old artist who lives in TriBeCa, is constantly navigating her social circles from her iPhone. She finds that she’ll triple- or even quadruple-book plans on weekend nights, knowing there’s only a 60 percent chance she’ll engage in any of them.

“People will text me, ‘Let’s do something this week,’ and I’ll have three or four plans laid out for the week, and on average, more than half of them fall through,” she said. “The social plans I make are always changing, always shifting.”

Girls especially love this age of electronic “micro-coordinating”, because the plethora of shallow plans make them feel wanted, loved, desired, popular, BUSY BUSY BUSY. It’s an incipient attention whore’s paradise. Until 4 out of 5 plans fall through, and she has to micro-coordinate another ten plans to get her lookatme! fix.

Players like this situation as well, because it allows them to juggle multiple women seamlessly and to cut girls off without undue chick drama.

Moreover, it’s not considered boorish when her peers abandon one another. “Because there is very little at stake in terms of having these plans, it’s not that rude,” she said. “It’s implicit because that’s how everyone is operating.”

Social media and smartphones have ensured that nothing is important, because the second something *is* important, there are real consequences for flaking on it. And no woman-child wants to deal with icky real consequences. Yuk!

“My parents always say that when you make a plan, even if your finger is falling off, even if you’re bleeding, you can’t stand people up,” said Ms. Medine, the fashion blogger. [editor: “fashion blogger”. jesus. all i want for christmas is a day of the rope… a day of the rope…] “But to me, it’s not rude. If your plans fall through, that’s fine. We live in a city where there are a million other plans waiting for you.”

This is why the modern day player has to have, as part of his seduction arsenal, professional anti-flaking techniques. If you don’t know how to handle the flakes that will inevitably occur, you are handicapped in the mating market. And you know what kind of guy thrives in the Age of Flakes? — The guy who knows how to flip the script and get women to chase *him*, so that he is the one with the option to flake.

Ms. Medine added that she would often R.S.V.P. to five events a night, knowing there’s little chance she would attend them all. “I don’t think any plan is a plan until you’re inside the restaurant looking at someone else,” she said.

Player: “I don’t think any plan is a plan until you’re inside her vagina looking into her eyes.”

Hey, what’s good for the goose…

PS You will see a photo of MIZZ Medine alongside the article, and, well… manjaw’s gonna manjaw.

Seriously, what the fuck is up with American women acting and looking like men, and American men acting and looking like manboobs? Did a silent enemy slip something into our water supply? Are my balls just astronomically bigger than the average man’s because I don’t apologize for my manhood, and I prefer feminine women?

My techie-minded prediction is that the Age of Flaking will slowly come to an end when video-texting and video calling become widely used. Once you can’t text or IM without seeing a moving face before you, the boorishness will wither with the rising shame.

“If you text a friend that you can’t make dinner because you’re feeling sick, and then a picture of you dancing on a bar shows up on someone’s Instagram feed, you just got caught,” Mr. Blasberg said. “With the rise of social media and technology, it’s harder to use little white lies to get out of things.”

Orwell was only partly right. Big Brother is everywhere, but he is as much your friend or neighbor as he is your government.

A classic CH anti-flaking technique can be found here.


  1. I am hesitant to make any plans at all, because it puts you in a wak and expectant position. Unless you have some positive assurance of a woman’s interest (5-min text-back or something) then you should try to play it spontaneous and hope you happen to text when she’s horny and doesn’t have plans.


    • Making plans puts you in a bad position only *if* you failed to generate enough attraction and some comfort during your initial meeting.

      For example, you meet an attention whore Saturday night at popular club X, she’s had five other dudes gaming her just that week, and you only manage 10 minutes of picking her up before she leaves and you get the number. Of course she’ll be flaky, assuming that she even answers your text/call and agrees to a meetup.

      But if you’re doing your job right, you should mostly be running day game (read Roosh’s Day Bang for advice on supermarkets, clothing store, subways, and streets), along with social circle game, travel game, and friends’ private events game.

      Each of these gives you interactions with 10-20 minutes of interrupted gaming, and you build plenty of attraction. Plus it agrees with girls’ ridiculous “romantic” (romantic comedy movies) notions about how they’re supposed to meet a boyfriend.

      Seal the deal with a European-suave follow-up text, send some funny non sequitur texts a few days later, and smoothly ease into the plan-making. If you want, do a confirmation text that’s disguised as giving new information (see example below on “helping a friend move, might be a few minutes late”…)

      There, done deal. You now have an 75% + chance of the girl showing up.

      Be sure to read through the resources I mentioned below (Magic Bullets, Routines Manual, Roosh’s Bang, Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game, Magnetic Messaging, decibel’s Text Game).

      Also, watch the Julian Foxx/Vin DiCarlo No Flakes, on how to preemptively defuse girl flakes.


  2. Seriously, what the fuck is up with … American men acting and looking like manboobs? Did a silent enemy slip something into our water supply? Are my balls just astronomically bigger than the average man’s…

    I had this problem (I guess) along with some other symptoms — low libido, rare morning wood, poor response to strength training, cognitive problems, mood problems, insomnia — and thought, “Wow, this all sounds like low T.” Went to the doctor, and lo and behold, low T. And I’m only 35. Did some reading and apparently the average T level in (Western) men has been falling during the past few decades. So, short answer is … yes?


    • 1. Filter your drinking water. Tons of pharmaceuticals that mimic estrogen are being pissed into the U.S. water supply.

      2. Avoid processed foods and foods that come in contact with plastic. Plastics disrupt your hormones. Plastics act like estrogen.

      3. Reduce dairy. Cow’s milk comes from lactating cows. Lactating cows are full of estrogen.


      • C’mon, Low-T does not mean high-E. More likely Low-E as well, since most metabolic pathways that result in higher T, increase E as well. And why does women develop manjaws from eating supposed synthetic estrogen?

        I’d be very surprised of the “manjaw” epidemic is not largely selection bias. The women who end up in big-corps-big-cities-big-carreers-big-incomes are simply more masculine, hence competitive, than those who don’t.

        Also, it has become very easy to become fat in our cheap calorie world. Hence, women without the kind of above average T that gives them the drive to hit the gym religiously, tend to have their nice, feminine jawlines nicely hidden under a layer or two of blubber.

        For men, the body responds to heavy lifting and heavy work by increasing androgen secretion. Sitting in an office doesn’t do much in that regard. Neither does concentration curling 20lb chrome weights for a few minutes. At 35, Squating with enough weight on the bar to make your body feel it is too weak to reliably protect your spine and cns, will make you secrete more E; unless you are either severely malnourished, sleep deprived, or have some rare illness. Low-T as a pharmafad, is just that; the latest in feelgood medication for suckering wimps out of their income. Getting hooked on ‘roids at 35 is no way to live. Seriously. And whatever they call what they’re hawking by prescription these days, is not meaningfully different (it’s T for c’sakes) than the shit coming out of the Soviet block in the 60s and 70s.


      • Sigh…Obviously a know nothing troll who isn´t even aware of the falling levels of testosterone, low sperm counts as well as ever more widespread male and female infertility., Hougaard KS, et al. 2009. “Increased incidence of infertility treatment among women working in the plastics industry” PMID: 19429396, and USA Today. “Plastic chemical linked aggression in toddler girls”


      • Oddly I am with kraut-fag Stuki on these points — though I also have little doubt that plastics are having such effects.

        The low-T scare seems like a reverse craze to me. If anything, I would guess that white men, in particular, lack opportunities in this heavily policed, service industry world to engage in behavior which promotes high levels of T. We have seen here and elsewhere that mimicking aggressive behavior has precisely this effect. White men have been trained to be incredibly passive in the face of just about every other kind of human creature — black men, white women, Jews, our Spanish-speaking brown-skinned replacements. That’s a super-majority of the American populace already (and why Obama will have his second term). And there is heavy “disparate impact” when we defy these demographics in their efforts to subdue us.


      • So, your hypothesis is that “plastics” or “plastic chemicals” cause a decrease in T in men, and an increase in women/girls? To such a degree that it overshadows any other possible explanation for the “ills” you observe?


      • Nice observation. Wimmins got manjaws because the ones that don’t are fat. Simple, and accounts for the data.


    • CH said,

      “… Seriously, what the fuck is up with American women acting and looking like men, and American men acting and looking like manboobs? Did a silent enemy slip something into our water supply?…”

      The answer is almost yes.

      This is no news to a lot of people that Testosterone levels in men are going down and it is in part because too many chemicals end up in our drinking water and food.

      “The pill” being the main culprit… it is in women’s urine and water treatment does not remove all the estrogen… we end up drinking and eating estrogen and this reduces our testosterone levels

      I do not think feminists (and liberal manboobs) had planned this, but I am sure they are happy about it.

      In theory this would produce a less violent society…

      Saying this was a conspiracy is far fetched but not completely far fetched if you watch the following video in which we are told that giving certain ” pills” to humans might make them act more ” green” and could be part of the solution to global warming…

      ( the site has a weird name but the video is for real )


      • I’ve heard about this and I definitly try to eat “cleaner” but have no clue how to deal with the estrogen in the water. I use the brita filter at home but I doubt that does much against estrogen.

        Any ideas?


      • At the moment there doesn’t seem to bea fool proof method. Scientist are working on it:


      • I think this is a non-issue. Pill dosage is something like 50 micrograms. If none of that gets metabolized (and I’d guess a significant fraction does), that means a woman’s urine has a concentration of 50 mikes per liter (roughly). So even if you live downstream from New York City’s sewerage outflow, you’re getting at most 200 grams of estrogen per day — but it’s diluted in 1.3 billion gallons of wastewater, so that’s a concentration of 40 billionths of a gram per liter. That’s 1/1000 of the dose in a pill, and only if you’re directly drinking untreated wastewater (which will probably cause other, more immediate health problems).

        If there’s really a decline in men’s testosterone, I don’t think drinking water is the culprit. My guess is the shift to more sedentary jobs.


      • Check out the big brain on Trimegistus!


      • I’m impressed.

        But I’m sure a smart ass will come with a counter-argument.


      • There isn’t one. I hadn’t seen this when commenting above that I also guess it’s the requirement to act passively in modern society that is keeping white men bonobo-like.

        I have another theory, however. The fact is that American society is involved in several systematic commitments which require ever greater social controls placed upon men, primarily white and black. In a society of fake smiles and corporate platitudes, anti-white legislation and ghetto rot, and white women everywhere calling anyone not alpha “creepy”, the social landscape has become so many ways for a man to be completely repressed in his instincts. Postindustrial society is, more than ever, a conspiracy against testosterone.

        Black men will keep going to prison. Jews and feminists will keep enforcing the no-criticism policy for our holy brown-skinned replacements from Latin America. Thus, the only option this society, mired in denial from being committed to error, is to control its more docile byproduct — normal white men — chemically.

        Because you see it is only control of white men which is not taboo at this point. We are the only demographic which can safely be managed in this manner without anyone opposing it; and in fact there is already a very strong conspiracy lined up that has been working toward this end for decades.

        They complain sometimes that “we” are out of the universities, smoking dope, having too much casual sex and playing too many video games, but of course this is exactly what the conditions of the American system have selected for.

        So while it is at present absurd to assume that estrogen byproduct in the water supply is bringing down testosterone, I believe it is probably inevitable that our coercive managerial class will attempt something like this in the near future as the pressure builds. It might take as little as few more shootings by disgruntled white men before there is talk of mass-medicating, tinkering with hormones at the genetic level, repealing the Second Amendment altogether, etc.

        Again though: whatever shape this takes, owing to its technological and ideological commitments, this is the only direction in which the system can go.

        Poolside today — prison tomorrow.


      • “… that means a woman’s urine has a concentration of 50 mikes per liter (roughly). So even if you live downstream from New York City’s sewerage outflow, you’re getting at most 200 grams of estrogen per day…”

        where did you get your numbers?

        and what about all those plastics that our food is packaged in and that we use to heat our food in micro waves oven that ends up in our food and that also end up in the water and that also mimics estrogen?

        what about when you French kiss a woman or give her cunnilingus? what are the numbers on that?

        and if estrogen in the water is so harmless then why are we noticing a change in the fish population?


      • 1. The pill is only a SMALL part of the issue.

        It’s ALL the pharmaceuticals in the water. The average American over the age of 40 is on at least five different medications. Americans are all hopped up on pharmaceuticals and piss them into the water supply.

        Anti-depressants, cholesterol drugs, etc. All these pharmaceuticals disrupt our hormones.

        2. What do people use when they shower or wash their hands? SOAP. Most mass-manufactured soaps contain polymers, i.e., PLASTICS. We are dumping plastic into our water suppy.

        Matter of fact, CANADA bans certain shampoos because they have been shown to affect the gonads of aquatic animals to the point where they cannot be identified as either male or female.


      • Trimegistus… as to one of your errors, how many women in NYC take the pill and pee into that wastewater?


      • Um, all of them? Because that’s what wastewater IS. Unless lots of women in NYC relieve themselves on the grass in Central Park.


      • Does boiling the water fix it? How ironic – that the end result of industrialization is that we have to boil the drinking water as though we were living in a 3rd world cesspit.


    • I had this problem in my late 40’s/early 50’s. I had all the symptoms and signs of the aging male detailed in the Human Sexual Response (Masters and Johnson). I was beginning to think about getting religion. But, I started lifting weights, stopped the junk food, lost 30 pounds of fat on my belly, and used Viagra to avoid performance anxiety. (It works. Performance anxiety is a real problem.)

      I am now 66 and still doing reasonably well. Taking off the belly fat and lifting weights, and Viagra if you think you need it, worked wonders for me. Like, a new lease on life, really.

      I sometimes toy with the idea of getting my testosterone measured and taking supplements, but, then I might be more bothered for sex than I am now, and that would be bad at my age.


    • I covered this a few weeks back: The Race for Testosterone

      Scary trend, indeed. But it can be reversed (see heavy weights, green veggies, and nofap for shortcuts).

      Worst of all is that T is your energy.


  3. I always – always – plan my meets around some other activity that I will enjoy by myself. The girl is second priority: if she shows up, fine; if not, even better. And don’t be late! I’ll be five minutes late myself; it you’re not there when I arrive, too bad.

    Also, you only get to flake once. This policy can work to your advantage. I had a girl flake on me, so I repeatedly turned down her offers for another date (“sorry, you flaked on me and I don’t let girls do that”) until she was literally going crazy. I finally relented and gave her “one more chance.” As you can imagine, it was totally worth it. When a girl flakes but then stays in touch make that hamster run hard for a month or two.


    • I agree. And Roosh covered this back in ’08:

      Basically, find interesting local events, festivals, sports, cultural things that you *already* have an interest in. The presence of the girl, if she shows up, just adds to the experience. But you’d be happy to be at the event anyways, even by yourself.

      As a wonderful side benefit, you save yourself a lot of cash by not taking her to expensive dinner and drinks all the time — and you get alpha cred/DHVs in her eyes for doing your passion. You’re not like every other beta orbiter begging to take her out to an expensive dinner.

      It’s your world, she’s just along for the ride.


    • Couldn’t agree more. No way in hell am I going out of my way for some chick knowing there’s about a 99.99999% chance she’ll flake anyway. ‘Cause she’s a chick. They get to flake, dis or reject me precisely once, no second chances.


  4. As you linked at the end, a good anti-flake strategy is to call them out ASAP and let them know it won’t be tolerated, and to be prepared to cut off all contact. I have had this happen with a couple girls. We made plans and the same day they cancelled (usually just a few hours prior) due to what is basically low interest – one wanted to visit family 2 hours away and wouldn’t be back on time and the other wanted to watch her tv show. In both cases, I told them I don’t deal with wishy washy/don’t waste my valuable free time, and in both cases they immediately changed their behavior and made plans the next day to come see me. You just have to lay down the law and if they don’t fall in line, they fall behind.


    • Yes….sometimes that work. And a lot of times it doesn’t.

      If you haven’t had the necessary time to establish in her mind that you’re a super-alpha (or if you’re not the 6’4″, ripped, wealthy, socialite, surrounded by models) — then telling her something like “don’t waste my time” etc will get you blown off faster than a mosquito off a Ford F150 windshield.

      A strict statement won’t have her thinking “Oh, he’s such a badass, that turns me on.” Instead, she’ll be thinking you’re a needy, uptight weirdo who prized her company so much that her flake got under your skin.

      Try some of old one-word magic “gay”, “lame”, etc. or a Rob Judge-style humorous blowoff “You know I love flaky chicks named Amber and here you are acting like one!”

      Take a look at these classics on handling blowoffs and *not* going ballistic on girls:


  5. Here are some of the repeatable, learnable tactics I can share from seeing my 1st HB10 in a city known for being a hot babe desert. Anticipating flakery is a big part of it.

    First, subtlety and class. With most girls (HB6-8) I’ve been very successful going caveman. Gush on my hand little girl, I’m imagining wrecking you on my mahogany conference table, etc. That would not work on this girl. She’s too intelligent (a lawyer), she’s too high class (Rich 26 y old, spent her youth partying with benjamins in Miami) to go for crude behavior- while the rest of her friends swoon over a hot bartender, her attitude is ‘who would want a bartender.’

    Okay so what am I saying. Less overt, less raunchy *is* better because it’s classy, her antennae are up for class because it’s DHV. When guys fight or physically AMOG, some girls like it. The obvious reason is because testosterone. But some girls like guys who fight because it is a D*L*V, and means the guy can’t get better girls. Same with being raunchy. Some girls will like it because it’s testosterone alpha, some will like it because it’s dLv and it makes men more attainable. But she’s an intelligent HB10 and wants the best for herself. It reflects her style too:

    Her: I’m down to *do* something after if you’re *up* for it!
    Me: I’ll be up.

    Relevant to the topic: Intentionally spiking the ball has been very effective for me. I do not make plans with this girl unless she’s 100% committed. I invited her out, she said she *might* have plans but would try to make it, can I let you know. My response 2 hours later, ‘no worries another night.’ One of our mutual friends who she’s been talking about me with later told me that line got her wound up and right then ‘she was in the palm of my hand.’ Spiking the ball is like calling a bluff. The first time I got her to come over for a midnight booty call (only one date prior), she hit the brakes:

    Her: we should go out.
    Me: mature
    Her: Sarcasm?
    Me: No
    Me: Every night you’re not in my bed is a mistake
    Me: But yes respect you for wanting to slow roll it
    Me: Same thought myself
    Her: blabla
    Me: Tonight tho
    Me: let’s get silly and naughty
    Her: K where

    Here’s how I handle the fact that she’s insanely gorgeous. I don’t ‘do’ compliments. First time she compliments me, I wave it off. As I explain why, I’m like, “I don’t *do* props. See, I could tell you you’re the most attractive blonde I’ve ever met, but that takes the fun out of it.’ Alpha/beta. So now I never have to compliment her. One time I did, “you strike me as very adult and it’s very attractive.’ Her response, ‘can’t tell if you’re serious haha’ (adult is a neg, btw, mature = old). My response, ‘see compliments are always kind of gay haha.’ So now the fact that she’s way above my league looks-wise (only 1 inch shorter w/o heels!!) never gets brought up. Most I’ll compliment is in the bedroom and in question form, ‘why are you so beautiful.’ ‘how are you so cute’ (cute = neg, childish).

    Next, brutality when she makes a mistake. When she makes a mistake and loses hand, no free passes. I don’t ‘make it better,’ but I don’t make it explicit either. Example, while she’s out drinking with her friends she didn’t get a joke I made. My reaction, ‘are you wasted.’ She responds, No I just blablabla. Another time she misinterpreted something I said, when I corrected her she sensed she made a mistake. She texted me a few more times, ‘wish you were here,’ I ignored for the rest of the night and maintained hand.

    Despite the subtlety in my tactics, I still position myself as 100% sex dom. The code word I’ve come up with is dangerous. ‘Come over I’m feeling dangerous.’ On the cute side, I’ll send her things like:

    ‘Want to bite me tonight?’
    ‘I mean, want to get a bite with me tonight?’

    ‘Come bang’
    ‘I mean, come hang’

    ‘Come to [bar] I want to whisper dirty things in your ear’

    It’s all about the bedroom with me. It’s a mix between ‘dangerous’ alpha and witty/cute domestic ‘beta.’ Example, when we first started hooking up I didn’t try seriously to get in that puss. But I would say things like, ‘what if I just overpowered you and ravaged you right now.’ Response, ‘it wouldn’t be overpowering if it was consensual.’ Still didn’t go for it- spike the ball. On the comfort/beta side, I’d nuzzle into her neck and say stupid things like, ‘I want to live right here. Build a house. Change my address.’ Things can’t be violent and 50 shades of grey all the time, especially if you want her to be in your bed all the fucking time. The best comfort/beta sex move is gentle kisses. Seriously. I’m talking like whisper light. Imagine a 13 year old lesbian gently lapping at the lips of her first kiss. Another example of alpha/beta bedroom game- I don’t let her on top. I will spin her over if she’s on top for longer than 20 seconds. It’s a dom move. But after a few times, I tell her why. “Top is for the person who wants something. You only get to go on top when you want to tear my clothes off or ride me fucking hard.” No pussy shit limp fish when she’s on top. Let her dom a little bit when she’s up there- train her to be active. On the alpha side, she’s totally fucked. I take off her shirt, rip off the pillow case and tie her hands behind her back. I leave and get the biggest kitchen knife and tell her she’s getting shanked unless she wiggles out of her jeans. Then I slide the knife under her panty’s hip strap and tell her I’m going to murder her panties unless she puts my fucking cock in her mouth. It’s fun.

    And yes, it’s totally worth it once you’re in the bedroom. When you’re getting her off and the face of a perfect beautiful gorgeous 10 opens her big beautiful blue eyes into yours, it’s the greatest feeling in the world. And she’s knows exactly what she’s doing.


    • Good stuff


    • Pics or it didn’t happen.

      Seriously, sounds like you have a case of oneitis for a horrible woman who happens to be hot. A lot of work for little pay-off. Know how much time or energy is spent to get the same kinky sex results from a 7 or 8? None. Then, the other 22 hours of the day your aren’t banging is fun and stress free


    • Everything you wrote here is 100% legit. This is for the turbos who live in a world of validation (a world that’s even more over-the-top because of social media these days…her phone is blowing up with 50 invites to shit from guys and girls every Friday night lol). Handling a 7 (or a 10 who sees herself as a 7) the way a legit 10 needs to be handled will usually pretty much just destroy the 7 as a human being lol

      Tyler talks about landing 10s here at 28min in. He covers picking them up in the first place (social proof, outcome independance, self-amusement, building state, etc.), and fucking with their emotions to build attraction (making out with other girls in front of them, pushing them off you, walking away from them, etc.), teasing/negging/etc. them all the way to the bedroom and even during sex lol:

      Guys who don’t go out or just stay in the comfort zone of hitting on average girls won’t be able to relate to what he’s explaining here or what you’re describing. Just wanted to back what you wrote up. Great comment.


    • Relevant shit from Julien at 8:00. How the girls’ mood/emotions affect her flaking. And a funny-ass way to get them to pick up the phone and what to do about the infamous “who is this?” txt lol


  6. MOST ALPHA SONG EVER, in any musical genre.

    “Girl, you’re getting that look in your eyes
    And it’s startig’ to worry me…”


  7. Whatsapp is amazing. In the past girls wouldn’t give you their numbers.

    Now from OK Cupid, after a few back and forths, I ask for or offer my whatsapp.

    Immediately I get a text back. Then it’s game on.

    Some girls just love to text….it’s like how when I was a kid I used to love getting post-cards—from anywhere. I collected them.

    So it’s vital to know text game.

    Text game is not longer a specialty, it IS mainstrea game, it’s a vital tool

    if you can’t successfully text girls and get them to open up, you’re lost.

    On the flaking. It makes short, non-sequitors vital.

    A girl I had made plans with suddenly had to work or some crap.

    Me: “gay”

    Her: on a tangent why is this gay blah blah blah.

    Some other great replies that work


    Also, before I go out, I usually text 2-3 girls and see who replies first.


    • “Text game is not longer a specialty, it IS mainstrea game, it’s a vital tool. if you can’t successfully text girls and get them to open up, you’re lost.”

      100% agreed. The social scene has changed…adapt or fall to the wayside. Even when I got into pickup, cell phones were still pretty shitty/basic and Facebook didn’t exist so having phone game was still important.

      But now literally, a lot of girls won’t even answer their phone unless you’re their actual legit boyfriend. It’s way more convenient to just wait for the txt. Hell, I do the same thing, I never answer my phone, I just make people txt me.

      I love the current system because my txt game is solid as fuck. I hated calling on the phone and having to leave voicemails and shit and take calls when I’m in the middle of shit or out with a girl etc. So this is awesomely convenient to me.

      The important thing is to get access to that cell number. Get her off OKCupid or whatever ASAP, don’t let her add you to Facebook till after you’ve fucked, etc. You want a direct line to her that other people don’t get. Social media allows girls to keep everyone at arm’s length and still get validation (before they’d have to actually invest time or cough up personal info or meet up in person to get it). You don’t want to be the “Person #25 Likes this status!” guy. You don’t give enough of a shit to check her photos and comment how pretty she looks etc. You have other shit to do. For the love of god don’t follow her Twitter.

      These days I use:

      “add me 2 Facebook!! ❤ <3"
      "I don't use FB"
      "lol y not?"
      "Because I'm not a 12 year old girl."

      Some girls want to add you before they meet up, just to make sure you aren't married with kids lol


      • Xcept…there’s absolutely no one I WANT to get off OKCupid……..


      • So true Wolfie65. Especially in rural and suburban areas! Tubby, tubby lardies. (Some of the OKCupid girls who live in yuppie cities are 6s or 6.5s, but have huge egos from all the attention…)


      • i don’t get why you guys dis Facebook. Dissing it makes you look old—at least in Asia.

        NOt having whatsapp makes you look old—in Asia.

        I put up all sorts of photos of me with other hot women.

        It gets girls asking questions: “Wow so any girls”…

        It’s a great qualifier. Because if they can accept this without question, it’s on.

        If they start raising questions…then they’re a problem.

        I finger banged a hot 8 i met on OK Cupid.

        Then she started asking lots of questions about “those girls”.

        Then she “flaked”….so whatever.

        But you can’t ignore Facebook, adapt, put cools shit up there.


      • Oh I agree, Facebook is great, especially if you’re single and don’t care about any drama on it. But the reason I warn against it is:

        “I put up all sorts of photos of me with other hot women.”

        Most newbies don’t have that going on. Their FB is depressing and empty and a complete DLV *AND* they end up at arm’s length from the girl in her Orbiter crowd. At least if your FB is shitty but she doesn’t see it, she can fill in details in her head about what kind of guy she thinks you are instead of seeing “Omg this guy is so cool and charming and charismatic, he’s like James Bond I wonder what he does for a living, maybe he’s an international spy or a dangerous–Oh, he’s an accountant. And likes American Idol. …and has 15 friends. …awesome.”

        But ya, if you go out and collect pics of yourself with hotties, it’s great. Also if you have large social circles you can invite everyone to stuff as a group VS one-on-one and work social circle girls easy once you’re out. Definite benefits to it.


      • Funny. I use those same rejoinders. Sometimes also “wtf is facebook?”.


  8. Maybe it has something to do with growing up and living in the South, but I have never encountered this. Any time I have made plans with a girl, they have come to fruition.

    Unless you count the time a horny ex called me from a bar about 40 miles away wanting to see me (I was bored and this was an easy lay for the night) and by the time I got there she had passed out and her mom had come and picked her up. Even though this wasn’t intentional flaking, I only saw her after that if she came to my place.

    Seriously though, if none of us (men of value) put up with this nonsense, common sense says it has to die out. On the other hand, you really can’t put “women” and “common sense” in the same paragraph…or book for that matter.

    I agree with the other comments. If she flakes on you more than once, it’s your fault for giving her the second chance.


  9. Social media, and our devices in general, and pushing us away from each other. This is one reason I am sour on the future, and have little interest in having children. People are not happier having gadgets and apps. On the contrary, shut everything off, and you’ll feel better.


    • Exactly. It’s amazing how dependent people are on their devices. I don’t even have a smartphone and I prefer it that way…but people act as if I’m living in the stone age. When you go on a camping trip and see people sitting around the campfire using Instagram, you know there’s something wrong.


    • I was on pretty much every social media out there two years ago.

      Now I only have an old cellphone that is shut down half the time, and my social life has never been better.

      Can’t live without the Internet though.


  10. on October 29, 2012 at 12:19 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Why would this newspaper reporter talk to two fashion bloggers in the same story? No waitresses or bus boys were available?

    Actually, reporters are the worst sorts of social climbers, so I would take this story with a grain of salt. I’m sure the people who do real jobs have some respect for others. “Fashion bloggers,” one assumes, don’t quite have the same sense of responsibility of teachers, nurses, etc.


    • No waitresses or bus boys were available? – The reporter would have had to leave his room. Fashion bloggers are always online, always available, always one step ahead of everyone, yada yada yada…Waitresses and bus boys are soooo yesterday.


  11. on October 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm Hank the Plant

    Wow, seriously memorable manjaw on that one. Puts Stalone to shame.


  12. It is increasingly disincentived to set specific plans with any party.

    I’ve just started going by myself to events and meeting the people who are physically present at the event.


  13. I think the best way to prevent flakes is to go for same night lays or same day lays as quickly as possible. And the best way to improve those odds is by correctly handling your logistics by choosing a good target rich location.
    I live in London and some of the best guys in the seduction community get the largest notches simply because their flat is in the heart of Central London where most of the traffic is. They can simply stroll out of their house, get a bunch of numbers, go on instant dates and bounce them back straight to their flat if the mood and vibe is right.

    All of us know how much more forgiving and normal girls become after you’ve explored their nether regions a few times. You’ve simply taken away their power over you which they now know they can’t use it to control you.

    Similarly, it’s also possible you can reduce flakes the more options you appear to have which they can see externally (e.g. Rocking up to a venue with a bunch of hot girls around you) The more you appear to have options, the less girls will generally flake because they know you’re getting ass elsewhere.

    So i really do believe that a girl flaking is equal to her perceived sense of sex she thinks you’re lacking. A girl would never flake on a high value male


  14. I’ve been saying this for a Long time. No more twitter no more Facebook. Since dropping them both, my closing rates have increased further. Now they have to wonder about me instead of getting their instant gratification.

    Never give a woman everything upfront, keep dangling that fucking carrot fellas.


  15. So what if you make plans with a broad a week in advance, for lets say on a saturday. Call her on saturday to make sure and she claims we agreed for sunday then doesnt even attempt to contact you on that sunday? I havent contacted her since.


    • WTF? Do NOT make plans a week in advance — at most, 3 days ahead of time. You need to polish up your plan-making skills by re-reading the Routines Manual, Roosh’s Bang, the Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game, and some Vin DiCarlo stuff.

      (Better yet, make evening plans that same morning — check out BobbyRio Magnetic Messaging on this.)

      And why the F would you call to confirm, like a chump? A better plan is to send a text message the day before that, on the outside, appears to be a neutral piece of information but actually confirms the date.

      Example: “Hey, I’m going to be helping a buddy move tomorrow afternoon, so I might get to [Bar X] a few minutes after 7!”


  16. on October 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    how 2 counter da flakey flakesz

    da gbfm sends out a mass text 2 all my ladies:

    “lotsa cocksa 4 u lzozlzlz.”

    da gbfm then gets back dozens of messages:


    da gbfm waits and hour and sends out to everyone again:

    “srry wrng #”

    da gbfm then gets back lotsa texts

    too bad
    you got my hopes up
    damn you

    da gbfm then waits ’til midnight and texts to everyone:

    my place in 30 min.

    den da gbfm sits back and watches the parade arriving on his door camera monitor while he watches da espn highlights and reads homer’s odyssey

    at 1 am a hot hottie shows up and da gbfm hits the buzzer and lets her up.

    da gbfm saves lotsas times and money while the betas liquor her up at the bars and da gbfm gets to hang out with homer instaead of goldidggers and douchetard boobie-men manboobz at all the clubs these days lzlzllzlzl


    • God this is brilliant.


      • on October 29, 2012 at 2:13 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        as an ancient chcinese prverb states, a bird in hand is worth two in a bush, just as a cock in one’s hand is better than two in one’s tush, (as da neoeths like it best zlzozolzzoozo)


      • GBFM game works. No joke.


    • Why would you wanna sound like a 4 year old who doesnt know proper english?


      • on October 29, 2012 at 2:30 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        lzozozozlo you stooopid fucktardz

        who gets more pussyzzy?

        fitty cent and snood dogg who don’t spek no proeperosz english

        or you with your little gramamr book rulez and tiny cockas zlzozolzozzozl


      • dudes who don’t use capital letters or use periods get more


    • GBFM is the Joyce of our time. Brilliant. Occasionally unreadable, but always brilliant.


      • on October 29, 2012 at 3:53 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


        yah my momz wanted 2 name me ULYSSES!!!!!

        but my dad put his foot down and said hs name will be GBFM!!!!

        thank god for dadz!!!

        & no wonder da benenrek elite cenrtal anekrsz are detoryring fatherhooodz!! lzozozlzol

        in da hoodz
        is replaced y d beenrakr corprate stsate welfare warfare carrtel lzozozozooz


    • on October 29, 2012 at 4:05 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      always rememebrz it’s a percentagesz gamez

      because my lostsas cockas is 200% percent the length of the average gina, i get lostass giananss zlzolzolzzlz


      • on October 29, 2012 at 4:10 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        & although da gbfm as da lotsas cockass, da HEARTISETES as da lotsa more lostas cockas more lotsas cockas dan da entire menosphere comcbibened!!! lozozzolzozloz

        heartsites is a
        socioloigst extrodinaire
        writer extrodinaireextrodinaireextrodinaire
        man extrodinaire
        philsopherz kingz extrodinaire
        mentorz extrodinaire
        visisonary moral consicnese
        just man deep souled humorous
        just and all-round lotsass cockas good guyz zlzoozlzoz


      • Just out of curiosity: Why do your posts look as though you have 2 or 3 actual hamsters helping you type?


      • This is the kind of jokes on GBFM that I can tolerate.


      • on October 30, 2012 at 1:21 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        because most of da ameircanz womenz i hook up with have hamsters hamesters ham,sters and some hamsters in der bungholeoslsl too zlzllzlzzooozzzolzlzlzolzozoz


      • Poor hamsters. Call PETA.


      • The noobs are always obvious because of their posts of GBFM incredulity.
        You will learn, young Jedi, from the ways of Obi Wan GBFM


      • on October 30, 2012 at 6:19 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        lzozozzlzl yes my tender little grasshopperz with their grammar bookz and poetry dat rheymes and is pselled proprly 4 da ladies zlozzozozo

        poetry does not work on buttcocked womenz, only non-buttcocked womnez zlozzzozozoozo

        dat is why men used to keep tehir daughters from getting buttcocked before teh ferederal resvere funded the deustruction of the d fatehrszz zlozlzozzozo


    • You’re a fucking legend.

      I can have a fantasy related to this involving high school hot chicks.

      This shit is totally feasable.


    • on October 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      hey heartsteists!!!!!! iede edited my psostys and corrected some spelleingz and gramamarz and postsed it at my own blzogz zlzozozoz


    • lozlozlzozlzolzolzoz

      I’m definitely remembering this one.


  17. “Rachel Libeskind, a 23-year-old artist who lives in TriBeCa, is constantly navigating her social circles from her iPhone. She finds that she’ll triple- or even quadruple-book plans on weekend nights, knowing there’s only a 60 percent chance she’ll engage in any of them.”

    This is EXACTLY what players do.

    Note that chicks are flaking on their FRIENDS nearly HALF the time!


  18. Basically in the Dark Age of Flakes, push for the lay ASAP, spin plates and raed da classics.


  19. I’ve written about flaking in the digital age before. In fact, I had never been flaked on until about 2 years ago, when everyone had a cell/smart phone – Suddenly it seemed like every other girl I tried going out with would flake at one point or another.

    After my last relationship ended (2 years ago), I set up a date through OKCupid with a girl. The day of the date I got to the place we agreed to meet at, and she never showed. I called her a few times, no response. The next day I get a text: “Sorry, I completely forgot, I was in D.C. for the weekend” (We both live in NY).

    Another girl a few months later was “sick” the day we were to meet up, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and re-scheduled for the next weekend. We both lived far away from one another, so I had to take the train an hour just to meet half-way with her. She never showed. $20 round trip ticket and an hour out of my life and she wasn’t answering her phone. I ended up meeting up with a friend and having a really fun night.

    And that’s when I realized that in NYC you have to double- or triple-book your night in the event a plan falls through. I also learned that I need to send a confirmation a couple hours before we meet up just to make sure we’re still on. She might flake, but it’s better to know ahead of time if she’s gonna be there or chicken out.


  20. I also learned that women’s hypergamy also extends to their social activities in big cities. In a small town women probably don’t have many options, so they’re less likely to flake. But since moving to NYC I’ve found that a woman will say they’ll go out with you or whatever, but as soon as something better comes along, they’re gone. And in a big city even average looking chicks are worshiped and treated like royalty, so their rate of flaking is high.

    And that’s the thing that’s sad about this society, flaking is becoming a way of life. Even my guy friends flake or change plans last minute. I remember as a teenager and college student in small towns you could make a plan with someone a week in advance and they’d arrange their schedules around it. Now in NYC if you make plans any more than a day in advance they’ll be forgotten or swept aside for something else.

    The dating scene for women in a big city is also like a human buffet. They may be average looking, but there are thousands, if not millions, of single available guys they can be with. If you do even one wrong move on a date you’re nexted because they have so many fucking options. And as we all know, women typically hold all the power in the early stages of courtship.


  21. Seriously, what the fuck is up with American women acting and looking like men, and American men acting and looking like manboobs?

    This is one of many consequences of having shitty parents.


    • Yes, and also mixity in schools.

      Betas become more beta when they realize that they’re actually real losers with girls.
      And girls become more masculine in order to compete with boys and bask in the glow of the dominant ones.

      Banning mixity in schools should be the first step after the revolution. But since there will be no revolution, I will keep repeating this shit anyway, even though I’m poolside.


  22. >Hey, what’s good for the goose…

    I phrase it as, what’s good for the gander is good for the goose. Just try pulling that one out on a single female, they either blank out stare at you like you said something in Swahili, or instantly try to “correct” you. They never understand I said it that way on purpose, and of course it’s of no use to explain it to them (I’d be just DLVing myself). Maybe if they heard it from more men. (Let’s see how long it takes for this to show up on this page, I’m running about 2-3 days)


  23. All I have to say so far is that this shit is hard. Without a doubt I make a ton of mistakes, but so much of it seems out of my control.


    • “The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.
      Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.
      What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?”
      — Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being


  24. I had a lot of problems with this in one of the businesses I’ve run. The social media flake factor was a big part of the reason the business failed after several successful years.

    My client contacts were mostly women. As the years wore on, the flake factor became higher and higher. They sought to corral every interaction into email or texting. Even phone calls were seen as too personal or time-consuming, even though their only job at the time was to manage the big expensive project I was doing for them. Insane that companies are allowing their people to be so hands off with their vendors and then wondering why the project went wrong.

    With such a move toward depersonalizing the entire business interaction, led by women of course, the result was that loyalty, honor, and commitment to deadlines became a thing of the past. Repeat customers became a thing of the past. Choice addiction spoiled my client base so that these days they use a new vendor every time they do a project, always chasing that better deal. Social media killed my digital, socially driven business!

    The same exact thing has happened on the dating scene.

    My solution is to boycott texting and playing phone games. As soon as my contract is up I’m ditching my smart phone and getting a prepaid nokia. I may get a few less notches because of it, but I prefer high quality these days over quantity.


    • Girls *do* notice the type of phone. Even with the ones who don’t make a snide remark, you still see their eyes shoot down to the phone and fixate for a couple seconds.

      It’s become the status equivalent of a car or watch, unfortunately.


      • One of the reasons my phone isn’t with me when I’m at the clubs. When I had to get a new battery, the guy in the store (who was, strangely, older than me), said that they don’t carry that model anymore, but if I’d like to get a REAL phone, he could sell me one. I told him that if by ‘real phone’ he meant one with a receiver, squiggly cord and rotary dial, I’ll take it……


      • This can also serve as a neg on the rare occasions that anything above a 5 has a cheap, broken, or non-Apple phone: simply let your eyes linger on the model as though it is offending your taste. Instant vulnerability.

        One trick I use is remembering that everything on their bodies was made in China or Honduras. If I were with a woman wearing shit made in Italy, I would remember that it was all stitched up by women from China. Women are Christmas trees for cheap Chinese products.


      • nah, pretty much anyone can afford a top of the line smartphone. not everyone can afford a top of the line lamborghini or patek philippe.

        feeling like the type of phone you have defines your status, or responding to a girl’s snide remark (i.e. shit test) about your phone in such a manner, is a fail.

        i carry my cheap prepaid phone when i go out. some girls ask sincerely about it, i just tell them it gets the job done. a very small number of girls have given me shit about not having a smartphone, i tell them i do, but that it’s reserved for important contacts. stated in a matter-of-fact, non-butthurt way with a barely perceptible emphasis on the word ‘important’, it shuts most of them up right there.

        in the end, it’s not what you own, it’s how you own it.

        think girls will find george clooney any less desireable with a razr than an iphone? but george costanza, on the other hand….


      • My wristwatch that costs the equivalent of ten smartphones should solve that problem without making me look like a teenaged girl.


  25. plus, as an alpha male with huge hands, there is no fucking way I can text more than a few words at a time without wanting to throw the phone against the wall. they are made for the fingers of tiny japanese men. I am laconic by necessity. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.


  26. OT, I can’t help wondering when someone here will write about ‘hurricane game’, when East Coast storm weather creates unusual conditions, and how one best goes about exploiting it for erotic adventure… perhaps telling about a personal experience of it… could be good entertainment during a week of heavy rain here…


  27. on October 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm Latent Sadist

    Very pleased with myself, that your thoughts match mine completely on this subject. Its been poked at here and there by commenters and other blogs, but this was like a big fat helping of what i love to hear.

    Ive been writing about this literally, since the beggining of texting and myspace. Shrieking about it. watching it grow steadily worse, as peoples social skills decline, and we move deeper and deeper into this weird reality where we project fake images of ourselves, and live with jungle-like navigation of socializing through texts and wall posts.

    Its fucking ravaging our culture and…women are the beneficiaries. Absolutely. It is like beating a dead horse when you play into the texting girls/chasing/building rapport strategy. You gotta bait them to chase you, its the only way.

    The upside is that girls are very vulnerable to having the script flipped, as youve mentioned before. Its so uncommon, and they have zero experience dealing with it, so when they chase they chase HARD and with zero tact.

    NEVER question whether a girl is playing hard-to-get, or just not interested. When they want your cock they’ll revert to idiotic, blatantly-obvious children. absolutely no different than those annoying girls who pestered you when you were 10. You will know.

    I feel a sick revulsion when i see women staring down at their fucking phones, oblivious to everything. Literally feel violent. Hate it.

    Great post.


    • spot on.

      I wonder about the PUA wisdom of endlessly trying to convince a girl to sleep with you via clever word play or situational strategizing. When a girl really wants to fuck you, she becomes the equivalent of a beta male, failing every shit test, totally oblivious. It’s these girls that you should focus on, because they will give you the best sex. Reluctant girls can fuck off with their orbiters.


      • on October 29, 2012 at 4:41 pm Latent Sadist

        Agreed. I just flat out dont comply with weak or maybe girls who dont make time, or try to get you to chill with them and their “friends”. A ultra selfish high 7 …low 8 i banged (wouldnt mind a repeat) tried that shit yesterday when i hit her up. No dice from me, fuck that. Im at a point where i am incapable of entertaining girls if theyre not down to get penetrated.


      • What you both wrote is the mentality for staying in the 6-8 range of women. Which is totally fine if you just want frequent/consistent pussy and don’t care about getting hotter girls. No sarcasm there, I have a few buddies who just don’t care about pushing their skills, a lay is a lay to them and they’re happy as a clam and don’t give a fuck if anyone talks shit about the girls they get.

        The other downside to that mentality is that you don’t really have “choice”. You’re stuck with whichever girls make it easy for you to fuck them. Which again is totally fine (no sarcasm again) if you just like sex.

        Sadly these days a lot of 7s will act like 10s and flake and try to get you to Orbit them etc. because they’re fed so much validation from all angles by social media, so a lot of guys think “wtf are you serious?? You’re flaking on ME?? You should be happy I even bothered txting you wtf.” lol

        Anyway, ya, the whole “I tell the bitch to suck my cock or she can fuck off” thing doesn’t work on the hottest girls. They just don’t give a shit, there are 50 other guys validating them 24/7. And if you haven’t fucked her yet and can’t get her to meet up and say “fuck it” and ditch her, you can play it up like you’re a badass but the reality is: you’re not NEXT’ing her, that’s her NEXT’ing you.

        Once you make a massive dent in her insane reality/frame via extreme emotional drama (easiest way), displaying phenomenal amounts of value (more value than the guy with the ferrari, mansion, 6’4″ jacked up muscles who owns the bar, etc., so good luck with running that rat-race lol and even then she’ll usually put you in the Provider category), actually putting your P in her V and fucking her, etc, you can play that game because then she’s invested.

        But until you’re at that point, her response to your “shit or get off the pot” attitude will be “lol wutevs bye <3"

        For how to play off the emotional drama, check out Julien's "such a slut" example in the video I linked up above…watch more of Julien's videos for some seriously sociopathic sounding tactics he uses lol…again only for the turbo hot girls, not the 7s. He took the common "create some drama" PUA tactic and ran with it to some pretty fucked up extremes that the PUA community has never really explored. There's a lot ot learn in his videos, for handling 10s and flaky girls.


      • But why would you chase after such bruised fruit? There’s more to life than getting your dick wet, son. And there is more to women than looks. A drama free 8 brings me much more happiness than a drama filled 10 ever could.


      • I like your name, but that post is making my beta-alarm go off. Unless it was all sarcasm.


      • “There’s more to life than getting your dick wet, son.”

        Thanks, pops!

        ” A drama free 8 brings me much more happiness than a drama filled 10 ever could.”

        Then keep doing your thing man. You’re a “Pleasure of Sex” man and some of us are “Thrill of the Hunt” men. Do whatever makes you happy:


      • I agree with this. I think it’s the difference between an older player and a younger upstart. When you are young, for example, going to concerts is the coolest thing in the world. You want to go out every weekend and see every band you can, so you can brag to your friends about all the cool shows you go to. But as you age, and you see how many bands sound alike, and how many times the act doesn’t live up to the hype, you get more selective. You no longer want to go to every concert that comes to town – and you see doing so as immature and lame.

        With women, after you’ve bedded 100+, there is no longer any special conquest or thrill in saying you fucked a 9 or 10. Sure it’s still nice, but you begin to see how a hot, kinky 8 who is totally turned on by you and willing to bend over backward to please you, can be much more fun than a boring, vapid, self-absorbed 9 or 10 who just lays there.

        The difference is in how insecure you are – how much you need to impress your friends with that 9 or 10 in order to fill a void.

        I’ve already fucked enough 9s and 10s to prove I can do it. From now on, it’s about making them conform to my game and jump through my hoops, rather than the other way around. If a 9 or 10 will jump through my hoops, she’s in. I will go as low as an 8, which I think is the sweet spot. If she wants me to act like a metrosexual little bitch playing text games to feed her ego night and day, I’ve got better things to do.

        Some of you boys are like puppets on a bitch’s string. And you brag about it, while trying to mock the guys who have it figured out.

        Age and advanced playerdom might cure you of that. Call me old if you want but I’m still banging girls the same age as the ones you are, and just as hot.


      • ‘you begin to see how a hot, kinky 8 who is totally turned on by you and willing to bend over backward to please you, can be much more fun than a boring, vapid, self-absorbed 9 or 10 who just lays there.’

        Oh look, the thing where we pretend there aren’t 9s and 10s who are kinky, totally turned on by you, and willing to bend over backwards to please you. The same argument ugly girls put up when they get catty about girls who are hotter than them…”she must be ugly on the inside. I bet she has a bad personality. She’s probably dumb and ditzy, I’m smart and accomplished.”

        If you want to settle for less, that’s cool, but you don’t have to rationalize it by tearing down girls. You can just say “I don’t want to put in the effort or the wait to find a 9 or 10 who has all the non-physical attributes I want that this 6-8 in front of me right now has.”

        Long as you’re happy, it’s all good.


      • But the thing is an 8 is still pretty good-looking. She still has a banging body. It’s not like settling for trash.

        There is a stereotype about 9s and 10s being vapid and bad in bed largely because it is true. They have guys tripping all over themselves merely for showing up and getting naked. They never had to try to be good in bed. Yes there are exceptions.

        But as a guy who claims to understand game, surely you understand that no one man, short of a celebrity, can fully capture the infatuation/love/passion of a 9 or 10 for very long. She has so many orbiters, so many alpha suitors, that you can only take a small slice of her time and attention at best. She is constantly spinning plates and evaluating new offers, just like an alpha male. How can you provide greater tingles than the guy who took her to the bahamas on his yacht, with your tiny little dick and your laughable “text game”? You can’t. She is just playing you, making you think you’re playing her. Extracting ego gratification for very low cost.

        So you can jump through hoops for the privilege of basking in a 9’s beauty for a few nights if you want to. I’m just saying it gets old after you’ve mastered it.

        The other thing is that I find it very undignified for a man to accept sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths and fifths. Very unmanly in my view. With these urban 9 and 10 club skanks that you sound so obsessed with, you are always going to be entering right after some other guy did just yesterday, or earlier that morning. Fucking gross. With an 8 at least you have a chance at making her loyal for a while, if you run tight alpha game.


      • By the way, Ya Really, your idol Tyler Durden aka Owen Cook (still not convinced you aren’t his sock puppet) allegedly mastered the game, but then married a girl who is decidedly average – perhaps a 6 or a 7.

        So one of two things must be true: he eventually decided that I am right, and went with a girl who had more to offer than just stunning looks, or the ability that you and he claim to get 9s and 10s on a consistent basis with things like text game is phony keyboard jockery. Which is it?


      • Bogart: my favorite new commenter. More. The conversation needs your counterbalance. The poseurs, wannabes, taletellers, rally girls, fanboys, and bitch brigades outnumber the thoughtful, wizened vets 10:1.


      • ya really – what..? The only difference between dating a 7 and a 10 is what other people think.. which is socialist fem culture seep into your core – being an expert swimmer in a pool of shit .. still makes your world shit ..sorry


      • haters gonna hate.


      • on October 30, 2012 at 7:30 pm immoralgables

        Nah homie. 9s and 10s are synonymous based on your tastes.

        What the man says it true. These girls don’t flinch when you next them because they literally have at least 20 lined up stroking their egos and inviting them to cool and fancy shit.

        Ie, skydiving, trips to the Bahamas, regattas on THEIR boats, private flights to big cities, etc.

        You gotta hit them with that hard hitting psychological tactic that makes their antennae go up. Sure, it’s manufactured. But it’s no different than manufacturing on the spot Charisma by using mystery method style shit to get a group of people who didn’t know you at the bar 20min prior to come up and laugh at and high five you for something funny you conjured up on the spot.


      • on October 30, 2012 at 9:28 pm Holden Caulfield

        Unless you’ve actually fucked a few 9’s and 10’s, you truly don’t know the difference. Its like saying eating bologna is the same as filet mignon. Anyone who has had both knows that’s bullshit. Sure, they’ll both fill your stomach but it definitely is not the same. Fucking hot girls spoils, which is both good and bad. Good because it forces you to raise your game to continue to get the good stuff; bad because the lesser girls just don’t turn you on as much, no matter how drama free they are. Plus, gaming the super hot ones when you finally get good at it really becomes fun.


      • “Good because it forces you to raise your game to continue to get the good stuff; bad because the lesser girls just don’t turn you on as much, no matter how drama free they are.”

        lol ran into that last year. Had a string of epic chicks (both in looks and sexual chemistry) and I’m still dealing with the mental fallout of “fuck, why should I bother talking to this uggo, I’m way too awesome for her.” I started focusing on hitting more high-end places where the girls were higher quality and focused heavily on tightening my screening skills up. That’s why most of my conversations go sexual right away these days, I want to find out if the chick is going to be fun in bed for me or not ASAP.

        I don’t get laid as often as I did like way back when I first started and I was happy to fuck anything (and that was a fun time in general, don’t get me wrong lol most of my funniest stories/adventures come from back then), but the girls I get now are both better quality and I’m more inclined to keep them around for a while as a harem instead of pump ‘n dumping them because the sex is more satisfying.

        One of my regular wingmen is a Natural who loves sex and doesn’t care whether it’s with a 4 or a 9 (he gets both lol), as long as it’s a warm hole for the night he’s happy. So we actually have problems where he’ll be into a girl but she’ll have a blah friend and I can’t even fake being interested enough to jump on the grenade for him lol And he likes to hit the meat market bars because the environment is more sexual and he gets laid there easier than the high-end bars where you have to be able to play the social clique games. These days I would literally rather game some 8-10s but lose them at the end of the night and go home alone and grab some food and get a good night’s sleep, than chase a <7 around all night and get an unsatisfying lay.


      • Holden -> thats complete self reporting bullshit.. fucking 9 – 10’s is better than 7’s – 8’s – only in your head ..based on a socialist feminine skewed value system programed into your operating system – that is 100% fact ..and not hater hating .. I’ve had 1000+


      • and texting game is essential .. I guess .. in a fashion show vapid culture … but I’ll never work on my texting game .. I’ve got real work real things to do


      • on November 1, 2012 at 11:59 am Obstinance Works

        And more to the drama angle. How do you handle when girls curse? I’m getting this more than ever. Such as I’ll make a cold read or open and she’ll go “What the FUCK do you mean?”. Game as usual or is there something more special to it?



      • YaReally is spot-on.
        Being good at text is *not* about “endless…clever word play…trying to convince the girl to sleep with you.”
        Being good at text *is* continuing to simmer the attraction you built in-person (you did, didn’t you??).
        If you become yet another boring dude on text (“Hi, it’s Jim from last Friday. Do you want to get drinks next Saturday?”), you will not keep her interest.

        It is so f’ing important to send short, succinct text messages that hint at your value, your fun plans, your spontaneity, your sense of humor, and your preselection, that she will feel compelled to answer the text and continue the interaction.

        Like I mentioned up-above in comments, read Love Systems – Ultimate Guide to Text Game, Bobby Rio – Magnetic Messaging, and Decibel – Text Guide (local gamer), and soak up the psychology of how to keep the interest high.


      • “If you become yet another boring dude on text (“Hi, it’s Jim from last Friday. Do you want to get drinks next Saturday?”), you will not keep her interest.”

        Ya, a lot of my buddies who end up friend zoned and flaked on txt boring shit like that. “How was your night? :)” It’s awful.

        Every txt should push things toward a sexual vibe or at LEAST put her through some kind of emotions, good, bad, doesn’t matter, just SOMETHING. Like my first txt to a girl will be “just cause you got my number doesn’t mean I’m sending you pics of my dick. perv.” even if our conversation had nothing to do with that at all. Their txt is usually along the lines of “lol oh no i was hoping” and now we have a sexual vibe to our flirting.

        “whatre you up to?”
        “spanking it to your facebook pics. but it’s taking forever because they aren’t slutty enough. why are you such a prude?”

        “what are we gonna do on our date?”
        “well I figured we’d get hammered till we’re drunk and obnoxious and the bouncers throw us out for having sex on the pool table. But coffee and getting to know eachother works too.”

        “add me to facebook”
        “can’t. if I do I’ll be too busy creeping your page with my pants down to actually hang out with you.”
        “lol ur crazy”
        “technically it’s a compliment.”

        “hmm i dont know if I should give you my #”
        “you probably shouldn’t. I’ll just end up leaving you drunk 3am voicemails crying “WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME???!”. That will be after I convince you to send me naked pics with my amazing charm and wit, of course.”

        “a party?”
        “ya, big Halloween party. You should come out. you’ll need a slutty costume.”
        “lol i don’t do slutty, i’m classy”
        “you won’t be when I’m done with you. Party starts at 9.”
        “lol ur terrible. i can’t, I already have a party”
        “yours will be gay and you’ll just end up txting me asking what I’m doing anyway, ditch it and come be drunk and obnoxious with me.”
        “haha maybe”
        “but no getting me drunk and taking advantage of me. I’m a virgin.”
        “lol ya rite maybe i’ll bring roofies!”
        “Troublemaker. I hate you”
        “lol no way u love me”
        “only if you show up tomorrow.”

        Even if she doesn’t show up, the tone of our relationship is set.

        Boring guys and guys who suck at txting make a girl feel a flatline of emotion ——– The trick is to get that shit spiking up and down /////

        And push it towards getting naked pics ASAP.


      • theres only two pieces of pussy that count; your last and your next.


  28. The next step is not a decline in flaking due to video chat. The next step is throwing out faux apologia for breaking your word. Gotta wonder how long a double standard will perpetuate in the male world- men are subject to increasingly intolerable laws and burden of proof, women get off with a slap on the wrist for making law “he said she said.”


  29. As was mentioned here, the key is to have a lot of options. Technology can work for you. Women aren’t going to change, so we have to ‘manage’ them. Always have more options.

    Worst case, if you did decide to meet and she does a no-show, make sure it’s someplace that you know will be fun regardless. That way, it doesn’t matter. Set up a second date…do a no-show (have several options).

    So long as you’re not wanting, you remain in control.


  30. Good post Heartiste. This is why I advocated flipping the script, turning the tables and men running Flake On Girls (FOG)

    Has some great personal results and great results from readers.


  31. I think the theme here is that young American women aren’t worth much. Duh.


  32. In my Silicon Valley days many years ago I had to drive down to LA to spend a long weekend with friends in from the midwest. I connected with a Stanford girl to through a ride board. We were also supposed to return and set a time for me to retrieve her for the trip.

    The trip down was pleasant enough. She was an extremely bright engineering student who had little use for feminism and noted that (even then) all of them want the world handed to them (+10 points), and, like me, a member of The Tribe (+25 points for not being a JAP).

    Since this was in the jurassic period before smart phones, I came to get her at the designated time for the return trip, at which time she told me she had intended to fly back to the Bay Area, but felt bound to honor her commitment since she couldn’t get in touch with me. And so she did.

    She was at best, an HB6, but even then flaking was so commonplace that if I had a date planned, I expected only a 50% probability of it taking place. I thought back then that our age difference was a little much at ten years, but now I think I was a fool not to have made a move on someone who wasn’t a self-centered bitch and who had a conscience.

    Jennifer, I hope life has been good to you.


  33. I just came here to say this. There is a certain line that I’ve used for when a girl flakes on me but this is not in the situations where I’m waiting at the bar and she stands me up. Nor is it for it’s 2-3 hours before or the same day of the meet-up and she cancels. In those situations I don’t respond or go with Walawala’s patented “Oh.”

    Ok so here. Again, before I go further, I haven’t used this on the 9-10 turbo hotties but I do like to aim for 6-8s until I get some more balls and aim higher.

    And another disclaimer, this text I use is not my own. I got it from somewhere else and it’s not a magic wand. Because usually if you have to use it then the situation is already lost but it has worked in salvaging a disinterested girl or two.

    So, if I get a girl’s number on a Thurs,Fri,Sat night. I’ll say that we should go out for drinks this coming Wednesday. Yada ya, I’ll say that I’ll hit them up tuesday to firm up a place and time. Again, you get the basic idea. And again, this works for a certain range of girls I admit I haven’t gotten to a point where I’m having success with the legit hotties.

    When I text on Tues and I don’t get a response for 2+ hours I know that I either didn’t built up enough comfort/rapport or the girl isn’t that attracted. Wednesday night meetups are good since in NYC, all girls have SO SO SO many “awesome” plans on a Friday or Sat night. So why compete. But anyway.

    So if no reply to my “Hey xx, what are your plans tom night around 8pm. Let’s meet for drinks at yy.” type text, I’ll send this follow-up around 4 hours later or so. And again, at this point it’s like a hail mary and I dont get butt-hurt about her no response.

    “Hey zz, never heard back from you so I went ahead and made other plans. I’ll make it up next time I’m free”.

    I have gotten responses from girls who were “Sorry! Been so busy at work today!” or “Hey! Just got your text, sorry I was in the library all afternoon” within 15minutes after sending that text. The first time I got it I believed the girl. Every other time was a look of amused mastery I guess because you expect that kind of response.

    Usually their response says that we will try another time. I may or not respond to them and will shoot a follow-up text sometime later in the week or the next.

    No doubt if I worked on building more comfort or came across as higher-value then it wouldn’t have gotten to the hail mary text. I think if you’re using Ripp-style texting then it will reduce the flakes.


    • Dude, you should not be going for logistics (the day, time, and place of meeting up again), until you build at least a little text rapport back-and-forth and make sure she’s locked into the convo.

      Again, see the sources mentioned elsewhere (Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone, Magnetic Messaging, decibel, etc).

      You should:

      1. re-initiate the text conversation with a funny non-sequitur opener text — (“it turns out that I’m 29% to 31% more incredible today 🙂 How’s your day?” ; “am I the only one who finds perverse pleasure when assholes from high school get fat? (Thank you facebook!)”)

      2. once she responds, push a funny joke/connector that will be based on the content of her response. Could be cutesy, could be romantic, could be funny-cocky

      3. once she responds to that, push a particular date/time/place (“Ha my kind of girl. Q’s later for some pool and LA weirdo-watching”) or bait her into offering a time (“If we don’t meet up again soon, I’m filing the divorce papers!”)

      Mix and match anything fun you two spoke about during initial meetup (You did lay the conversational groundwork for callback/texting humor then, didn’t you??)


      • I agree with you 100%. The thing that fucked with my head is that my “less is more” texting style worked with a few girls so I stuck with that.

        I now see the value of branching out and honing my texting skills when it comes to this. I’ve fucked it up a few times already but thats part of the game.

        I’m saving your comment I get what you’re saying here and I think this is a major component of where I need to improve.

        Many thanks Anon and I’ll check the texting resources you mentioned.


      • Good advice here. Check that Julien RSD vid i linked above too. basically when she met you she was in a certain state. Then days later you txt with plans and its like who knows what state she’s in. Lazy, angry, hungover, busy with work, etc. So you want to stoke the fire up first and get her back in state THEN push for the meetup.

        The same thing works in a live sarge too:

        “Lets bail and go get food”
        “No I can’t! My friends are waiting”
        “Joke joke tease tease”
        “giggle giggle omg”
        “come on let’s go”
        “Okay!!! 🙂 :)”

        It’s basically “pumping her state” or “spiking her buying temperature”, you can probably find more writing on it if you need it but the concept is simple.

        The brief txts can work, but usually it’s because either 1) you built such epic rapport and value during the sarge that you’re like Brad Pitt to her or 2) by sheer fluke she happens to be in a good state and that’s just rolling the dice.

        I like your recovery txt a lot. It’s not as butthurt sounding as I expected from your warnings lol the part that ties it is the “I’ll make it up to you” like you just assume she’s disappointed that she missed out because you’re higher value and she would be retarded NOT to be bummed about it.

        But try what Annonymous was saying and you’ll probably find you don’t need to hail-mary as often.

        It’s still good to build rapport because if you just rely on this state pumping and don’t have solid high value to her, 6pm on Wednesday will come around and who knows what state she’ll be in…since her attraction is state-based without rapport, again you’re rolling the dice with whether she’ll show or not unless you can get her in state throughout the day of the meetup which is something I use when I know her attraction is shakey.

        One way I like to build rapport is to txt her right before noon with the random fun shit. She probably has a lunch break and will check her phone and txt you back. You can usually get a solid hour of txting back and forth in and just build familiarity in her mind.

        If she continues to txt past 1pm, odds are her job is boring and lax and she can txt all day long which means now you can get like 4 more hours of txting in till she goes home from work AND you know that you can txt her at work in the future and run the same play. Do that for a few days during the week and you’re in solid for rapport.

        This is part of why not having a job was convenient for me with pickup lol I’d have one or two of these loooooong in-depth convos going on at once with girls so id be txting all day long, all week long. I’ll get them horny at work and make them play with themselves in the bathroom and send pics of that and stuff, if her job is slack enough. So when I push for the meetup I can get away with saying “come over, dress sexy” and she knows she’s coming over to fuck and we’ve already discussed fetishes and what outfits I expect girls to wear and what her fantasies are (should I grab her and pin her against the wall by the neck violently at hello because she likes the fear of rape-play, or should I slowly seduce her with sensual touches and kisses and tease her with a back massage etc*) so I don’t get LMR or have to waste the night watching DVDs together or spending $ on dinner etc.

        Harder to do when you work a legit 9-5 where you have to actually produce results, like the rich go-getter CEO who has a Ferrari and a 6-pack but no time to do stuff like this during his workday. That shit doesn’t do him any good if she doesn’t show up for the date 😛

        I haven’t actually consciously thought about this much but this is definitely a big part of why I haven’t had to go on an actual “date” in ages. I literally can’t even remember the last time I got LMR from a girl who shows up at my door lol

        *ya ya “oh that’s supplicating just fuck her how you want who cares what she wants”. How she wants to be fucked is how I want to fuck her. I like helping chicks live out their secret fantasy shit that other guys don’t do with her. It’s fun for me to blow her mind and it keeps her coming back and from fucking other guys because I’m the only one she can get her personal idea of mind-blowing sex from since other guys either don’t care what she wants or don’t know how to make her comfortable enough to open up. Like how many husbands were shocked at the sales of 50 Shades and went “wait what? She’s into THAT??”

        Also sometimes her fantasy is just normal romantic sex with candles and soft music and shit. It’s not always about the fucked up shit lol


      • Wowwww golden stuff dude. Reading the comments today on this the lightbulb finally went off. Thank you for the examples.

        All the other times the girls showed up was because I rolled the dice and got lucky or I said so little that they might have been intrigued by the “Who is this guy” vibe.

        No more.

        I’m going the route you, Ripp and Anonymous have alluded to. This is fucking great.

        In regards to fucking her how she wants. I agree on that. Which guy is she going to remember? The guy that did legs up missionary and went to poundtown so he could high-five his bros? Or the guy that tied her hands above her head, choked her, pulled her hair, and then did some cuddling after all said and done. You got to keep them coming back…


      • Also, check out this comment left by Ripp last year:

        It def plays into what you’re saying and you may find value in it. Reading that made me realize my serious deficiency in text game.


  34. I never use texting or tweetering or any media at all. There are times and places where I am known to be. To the first one who shows up, I say something like, “You’re late” and we then leave in her car.


  35. In Melbourne, Australia some of the better (popular) restaurants have started taking credit card details with bookings so that they can charge a fee for booking flakes.
    Apparently the well heeled have been making multiple group bookings at different restaurants on the same night so that they can pick and and choose on a whim which place they prefer to dine at.

    The age of hamster spinning over-entitlement is well and trully here folks.


  36. Unbelievable…

    Mother-of-four who abandoned family to join Occupy camp in New York divorces banker husband… and pockets $85k while giving him custody of children


    • Hey, that’s relative peanuts. Not like I work on wall st. but if I got divorced, my (theoretical) ex would get more than that. Yes she’s milking the system she wants to break down, what else is new? All kinds of leftists do the same thing.

      But the real crime is, did you notice the words child support do not appear anywhere in that article? Telling. She probably wasn’t assigned any. He has to pay to raise the children all alone, because he is a man. I don’t think I’ve ever once known a woman to pay child support. Even the pittance the courts never assign, doesn’t get paid.


  37. I have a Facebook, and friend girls with it, but otherwise don’t really use it much. For example, I rarely go visit girls’ pages.

    There’s a reason for this.

    I have found out that, if you don’t do much of anything on FB, or at the very least spend far less times FB-stalking than the average college girl does, you can figure out pretty quickly which girls dig you and which don’t.

    1) You know that little box of six photos of friends in the middle of your main bar (if you have Timeline)? Those are a selection from your top 25 stalkers. (FB reboots often, so it may switch on you. But overall, it holds true. Also, you can’t have put any people in “Close Friends” or “Acquaintances”, because the six-friend area will give preference to Close Friends and not show Acquaintances.)

    2) In the Find Friends app (accessible from the search bar), where it says “Mutual Friend” and shows three names with checkboxes? Those names are a selection from your top 10 stalkers.

    Note that if you stalk a girl, she’ll start showing up also, so it’s essential that you HANG BACK.

    If she shows up in the six-friends thing on your Timeline bar, and definitely in the Find Friends app, you’ve got incoming. If she never does show up, she ain’t that into you.


    • on October 29, 2012 at 7:56 pm Latent Sadist

      Dude, this is gold. No shit! Took me a minute to find what you were talking about (mutual friends bar) and it definitely confirms what i would have already thought…as far as whos lookin at my page. Interesting too, as i reload it, it will load from a pool of people i suspected check my page…, but always a combo of three from that pool of people. Just randomizes it. I think youre onto something. Kudos this is great knowledge.


    • I always had a feeling that FB did that. Thanks for confirming Corvinus.

      Glad I’m not on FB now though.


    • wow, great info, thanks.

      I have more good-looking female groupies than I realized!


      • Good job. If a man stops stalking people cold-turkey, after a month or so, his top 25 and top 10 should have 1) his relatives, 2) female groupies, 3) a few male friends, but only a few, since men don’t use FB as much as women.


    • When u say its essential to hang back or shell start showing up, are you saying that by looking at her page it will have the same effect……like shell show up on the mutual friends box if i look at her page often?


    • on October 30, 2012 at 1:37 am Pray for Plagues

      I’m confused about #2, I don’t know where you see the checkboxes. If I click find friends it just lists the users with a lot of mutual friends.


      • on October 30, 2012 at 1:57 am Pray for Plagues

        I feel stupid now. You mean the section where you narrow down where you find your friends? Though I probably stalk too much, cause the 2 girls I want most show up. And they’re the only ones in the top 25 rotation. *sigh*


      • took me a minute to find it too. In the search bar, type in find friends app. Youll find it, then once youre on the page scroll down a bit and youll see the check boxes on the left.


      • on October 30, 2012 at 2:39 pm Pray for Plagues

        Found it, thanks.


    • Well shit man, how long does your own stalking falsely elevate the stats? I haven’t been on facebook in six months, but this chick I used to fb stalk pretty bad keeps coming up in both. Now I’m wondering…


      • After I stopped stalking other people cold-turkey, what FB considered by top friends turned completely upside-down about four to five months afterwards, upon which my relatives (whom I never look at, but many of which stalk me hardcore) washed up out of the netherworld and into my Top 25 in a big mass, so it should take about that long for most people you were peeking at to disappear. I also had a short-term relationship this spring, and again, it took about four to five months for her to drop out of my top 25 after it ended.

        So, I’d say, normally, four to five months.

        But if you were stalking somebody hard-core, it may take considerably longer for them to drop out. In my own case, my #1 former stalkee still usually shows up in my top 25, and even in the top 10 once in a while, and it has been ten months.

        If that is the case, you should pay attention to the new people in your top 10 and 25 rather than the old one-itises.


    • How did you figure this out it’s totally true! Nice one.


    • I always assumed the friends boxes and the “people you may know” thing were based on who you interact with, or who you’ve become friends with recently. I just refreshed my FB profile, and all the friends showing up in the 6 boxes at the top of my page were all people I’ve interacted with recently, be it through IM’s, comments, likes, etc.

      And the “people you may know” section is usually full of mutual friends of the last few people I friended. Lately they’ve been mutual friends of some guy who is a completely stranger that I’ve yet to interact with in any way, shape, or form.


      • For the “People you may know”, that is true. I was talking about the three “Mutual Friend” checkboxes to the left of that in the Find Friends utility. Possible exceptions (i.e., are stalking you) are those who routinely show up at the top of your “people you may know”, especially if you did NOT recently friend a friend of that person.

        And yes, that is normally true for the 6 boxes at the top of the page. My stalker-busting plan doesn’t work well if you are highly active with others on FB. For example, engaging in an IM convo with a girl, or going to her page and looking at her pics, are both highly likely to make her start showing up in the 6 boxes, at least for me.

        But strangely enough, in my own case, most of the people whose stuff I comment on or “like” never show up, because I never go to their page and do it in the newsfeed. Meanwhile, I never check out my relatives’ pages, but they show up in my 6 boxes nevertheless, and I know for a fact they stalk my page routinely.




      • Simple logic. If you never visit other peoples’ pages, which friends will FB show as your closest ones? Why, those that visit YOUR page, of course! It couldn’t reasonably do anything else.


      • Why are you so sure it isn’t random, dude?


      • FB’s documentation says basically, “for every query there is a querier. If it is unclear what the querier cares about [i.e., he never stalks anybody], FB’s search results are based on social context, i.e., what the querier’s friends care about.” It makes an algorithm for the person’s “friends”, determining who they are by how often they “interact” with that person.

        If it was random, I wouldn’t have my relatives and girls who like me routinely showing up in the six boxes; rather, I’d have — well, random people.


      • on October 31, 2012 at 7:42 pm Latent Sadist

        it makes me wonder if you could possibly tell whether a girl you were stalking was also stalking you. Since if she were also stalking you, she just wouldnt drop out at all and continue showing up.


  38. Does anyone know where to find good tips for shorter guys and game?


    • Yeah, stop giving a fuck about being shorter.


      • Oh, I’ll file that in the ‘just be awesome’ school of advice. I’m looking for something more substantive.


    • Consider suicide.


    • Just google “short guy game” and you’ll find tons of resources, random message board postings, people positioning themselves as experts on it, etc.


      • That’s true, but it’s the internet. I want some sort of quality control beyond my rookie eyes. Hence, posing the question to you all, hoping to find someone with experience being short and in the game.


      • Most of the advice for short guys is going to mirror the usual advice on gaming women.

        That is, are you being alpha enough? Are you building attraction through your stories (including talking about physical adventures like skydiving, rafting, etc.) to show you’re not weak? Are you getting into some sort of comfort to keep her hooked into the real you?

        Are you confident and unhesitating in your approaches? (If not, consider studying improv/acting/comedy/ToastMasters to get better at speaking.)

        From what I can see, the stuff specific to being a short guy is mostly like: stay positive, keep focused, physically stand tall and project outward with your body, wear shoes with a hidden platform, dress well. Have a forceful personality that establishes you in any venue (work, fun, daily errands). Also, be sure to lift weights (especially squats, deadlifts, bench press, pull ups, curls) to make use of the height you have.

        If you’re 5’5″ to 5’9″, you’ve gotta use any angle you can get, including your position in your industry, community group involvement, seated day game at coffee shops, restaurants, etc.

        Just be disciplined about following through on the existing materials you’ve read. Hit up the sources Heartiste has already suggested a couple years ago:


      • Thanks a lot!


      • on October 30, 2012 at 7:37 pm immoralgables

        Ill refer you to some of YRs anecdotes on his really short friend who is a bartender that slays good looking women taller.

        Let me know if you’re interested and I can load you up with the comments.


      • Ronnie James Dio was kinda short, but he more than compensated with pipes and tude…

        GOOD bands hafta take a singer that can sing; height is no problem, just don’t be overweight.


  39. While technology has made flaking easier and almost epidemic, it didn’t start with Facebook or smartphones. Americans have been flaky for as long as I’ve been around them, so that would be the mid-80’s. When a European (well, a northern European, anyway) says they wil meet you at restaurant X at 13.00 hours, they will be there at 13.00 hours. 12.45 if they’re German or Swiss. Even females.


    • I agree. This is definitely a culture thing, and I feel sorry for guys who are stuck in it and can’t get out to where people have some class.


    • i disagree. euro-girls are flaky as hell these days. they’re probably as bad as the americans.


      • Which part of Europe? Italy and East-Central Europe are still GREAT. I mean, steer clear of Russia, but otherwise, anywhere east of Berlin or south of Milan, and you’re good.


      • mostly scandinavia and uk. i don’t have much experience with ee-girls in their natural habitat.


      • East Scandinavia is fine. Avoid the UK at all costs. France is wildly overrated, too.


      • “east scandinavia”



      • C, can’t reply direct for some reason, but….

        FINLAND. Otherwise known as “Man Paradise.”


      • Methinks UK girls try VERY hard to be as ‘American’ as possible. So they do whatever they see US bitches do in movies. Scandinavia is a totally separate kettle of fish. The average is so extremely high there – a Swedish 6 would be an 8 or 9 just about anywhere else – and EVERY DUDE IN THE WORLD wants Nordic girls, they do kinda rule the world in that respect. And they pretty much know it. But if you can’t get laid on a Spanish or Italian beach during tourist season – or in a Swiss ski resort in the Winter – there’s got to be something very seriously wrong with you.


  40. “day of the rope… a day of the rope”

    Yes please.


  41. “When you can’t see the disappointment or anger on the face of the person you’re shafting, you don’t feel bad about it.”

    Men and women tend to differ there.

    Men are generally much more likely to feel beholden to abstract ideas and plans. Stand up a hunter or warrior pursuing a bear or enemy, and he’ll either die, or survive to kill you.

    While women are hardwired to act in response to facial expressions of children, and to a lesser degree other adults.

    Players, who in general tend to be chicks with dicks, are obviously different.


  42. Give the hamster too much choice and flaky behaviour is inevitable.


  43. on October 30, 2012 at 1:53 am Robert in Arabia

    Portraits of Strangers


  44. When I go out with a chick and I’m into her just enough to consider going out again and I get some B.S. response like “call me next week” or “sure, just text me”… I so enjoy not calling them again. I savor it. Because for years I would give up control and make that call.

    I just know now that any time a girl is not really interested, all she will do is waste my time and money.


    • Depending on the girl, every once in a while I’ll flip that on them and say “I’ll call you next week with the details” or whatever and then just not contact them. If they freak out, cool, they’re hooked and I just get them laughing and smooth it over and make actual plans.

      If they don’t contact me at all, I’ll keep txting them the usual flirting stuff but I’ll literally pretend nothing happened unless she brings it up and if she does I just brush it off (depending on the activity I’ll let her get the hint that another girl took her place). Like I won’t bitch her out or remind her she was rude or anything. I like it because it’s unreactive and lets her wonder why I didn’t bring it up. Don’t I like her? Wasn’t it an important life-altering even I was looking forward to? Did I find someone else to take her place? Did I forget myself and don’t even realize she flaked on me? etc etc

      I generally use this on the really hot social butterfly girls. Like where I know she’s going to have 10 invites to shit on a Friday night and there’s no WAY she’s gonna make it out to wherever I invite her to (I don’t really do dates anymore, I either invite them over to my place or to the bar I’ll be drinking at).

      Invite her to dinner when you know she’ll flake on you, then when you hook her again and make plans you can tell her she’s buying because she flaked on you and bam, you just saved $ AND scored a free dinner. Lol


  45. You forget all the men who lied about they are working all night but they are f**king the mistress or secretary? You like to go there again. Don’t cha? You like your kind of manhood than? And the women? They just paying you manhood treatment back, from thousand of years of “manhood treatment”. No cooked dinner for you tonight. Make it yourself if you are so man(hood)-up to that! 😉


  46. on October 30, 2012 at 9:30 am gunnarlucchesi

    Not sure if this really has much to do with social media, texting has been there for ages.


  47. lives with her parents. Upper East Side Manhattan. Guess Sandy’s kicking her arse right about now, eh?



    “I am her equal”

    Yes, and you shall be her cuckold.


  49. From the comments of

    “Liberal culture makes a sort of demand on Liberal men (particularly native western men) to surrender their masculinity and presence which liberals have linked with the western mans status.
    Resisting this liberal “social contract” is as simple as being a traditional male.”


  50. Jesus, she’s a fucking pig! She looks like a man for fuck sake. Put a moustache and a sombrero on her and she could be an extra in a spaghetti western ffs.


  51. easy come easy go. Bang same night… text message break up, no prob.


  52. I pre-flake on girls.

    “Come out tonight.”


    “Sorry, busy at work, jk.”


  53. Another pointless celebrity ad. Julianne Moore has really hit the wall.


    • so damn disapointed q-tip is in a feminist video


    • ” Julianne Moore has really hit the wall.”

      Wow no kidding, that actually made me wince. I recently watched Children of Men (2007) and in it she wasn’t that far gone at all. Amazing what 5 years


  54. Have any of you guys seen this ?

    Some broad kills her infant kids and gets away with it because she was ‘depressed’ and the guy who’s kids she killed is standing buy her like the worlds biggest chump.

    How fucking bad are things going to get ! I have almost lost all respect for women.


    • I actually lost respect for men.

      Women are just bitches, they go wild when there’s no pack leader in sight.
      I can’t blame a dog for being a dog.


    • I can’t believe that.

      “Waaah, I was feeling so depressed I murdered both our young kids WAAAAHHHH!”

      “That’s okay, sweetie, that’s okay!”


  55. writers/readers of Chateau;
    best way to get a girl to send nudes?
    It seems difficult to do it without being cheesy/sounding desperate


    • It’s pretty specific to the girl because you have to feel out what exactly her specific Anti-Slut Defenses are. Some girls love showing off naked pics, some are super shy, some have to be horny to be convinced, some will only show pics of certain body parts, some will or won’t include their face, etc.

      It’s mostly a combination of:

      1) non-judgement (ie – don’t make her feel like a slut for it, act like it’s the most natural thing in the world for her to be sending sexy pics to you, a guy she’s attracted to)

      2) calibration (test the waters with some sexual talk, figure out how comfortable she is with her sexuality, figure out what mood she’s in, where she’s at, does she have them on her phone already or does she have to take them, does she get off on satisfying a specific request on what to wear/show/pose, does she want to be teased or called a dirty little slut who’s making you jack off when she sends them or does she want to be told she’s beautiful and distracting you at work with how hot she is, do you have to start at sexy clothed pics or can you jump right to her fucking herself with toys, etc.)

      3) sexual escalation (get her horny and attracted first. “show me your tits!” out of the blue at 10am when she’s at the office is probably going to get denied. But if it’s 10pm and she’s laying in bed txting you and you’ve steered the convo toward talking about tits in general, about fakes and push-up bras and weird pancake nipples etc for a bit so the topic feels normal and you’re clearly non-judgemental about sexual topics, she’ll be more receptive to “show me your tits!” From there you can keep escalating either in that convo if you feel the vibe (calibrate) and get her to get herself off to your txts, or you can escalate more in the next convos…

      But remember that you’re starting over from 0 each time, until you guys have fucked or you’ve seriously established a dominant/submissive frame where she does what you tell her to and gets off on that (a lot of girls love the thought that their pics are turning a guy on). Since most of the time you’re starting over from 0, you have to pump her state first and get sexual and get her in the mood…just cause she sent you a pic of her fingering herself the night before doesn’t mean you can just request it mid-day at work out of the blue and get it…but spend the morning txting her back and forth some sexy flirty shit and by noon you can drop in a “you know what’d be fucking hot? if you went into the bathroom, went into a stall, pulled out those sexy tits of yours, and sent me a pic”, then you’ll probably get it)

      Wasn’t expecting that to be so long lol Whatever you do don’t beg for pics and if she refuses, don’t push it, pump her state and try again later. It’s like disarming Last Minute Resistance in the bedroom during sex: two steps forward, one step back, rinse, repeat.


  56. A more important question is where is Greg Eliot?

    Someone should check to see that he’s ok. It’s not like him to not to have 100 posts on CH.


    • He is obviously recuperating from his affair with that bitch mistress Sandy. What else would keep him away?

      Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays that commenter from the swift completion of his appointed rounds. But a hurricane…?

      He did manage to get a hand-delivered message to me, excerpted below. Rest easy, he is doing fine.

      Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
      You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
      Till you have drench’d our steeples, drown’d the cocks!
      You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
      Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
      Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
      Smite flat the thick rotundity o’ the world!
      Crack nature’s molds, all germens spill at once,
      That make ingrateful man!


    • Ah, it’s nice to be fondly remembered by the denizens of this demimonde.

      Total phone/internet/power outage for the past four days… the homestead was wired and the generator performed yeoman service, but try as I might, I couldn’t lift all the trees from the wires.


  57. Our modern understanding began in the 1930s with the isolation and identification of T. Reminiscent of the Curies’ heroic extraction of minute amounts of radium from a ton of pitchblende, Koch and his coworkers mashed tons of bull testicles to fractionate ounces of material sufficiently pure to make the combs of capons grow bright red (de Kruif 1945). (Butenandt distilled 25,000 liters of policemen’s urine to obtain 15 mg of another androgen, androsterone. Kochakian 1993). Identification and synthesis followed quickly, enabling experimenters to replace or enhance T in animal subjects and human patients. An example is the classic study of hen peck-orders by Allee et al. (1939) who injected T propionate into low-ranking hens. These injected females became aggressive, and each rose in her status hierarchy, some to the top position. Furthermore, their comb size increased (a male characteristic), egg laying was suppressed, some began crowing (rare in hens), and a few began courting other hens.


  58. @happycrow

    finland is not scandinavia.


    • Which would be news to all Scandinavians.


      • stop talking out your ass bro. i’m actually scandinavian, and scandinavia is denmark, norway and sweden. any finnish person or actual scandinavian would tell you that.


      • Yet every Finn (Swede, Dane,Norwegian, Icelander) I’ve ever met disagrees with you.
        Mycket roligt, eller hur?


      • det er sjovt fordi det er løgn, svans.

        finns are not scandi, except for the ones that are ethnic swedes. ethnic finns actually have a strong dislike for anything swedish and will never claim to be scandies. the relationship between finns and swedes is similar to the one between irish and english – not a love connection.

        i know it’s common for non-nordics to lump all nordics together as scandinavian, but that doesn’t make it correct.

        finns are related to estonians and the other east baltics ethnically and linguistically, and to sweden from being their bitch for 700 years.


      • Finns, swedes, whatever…you are all white ( and so am I ) thus you are all bad!

        Common get with the program!

        The white race is the bad race and I know this because the left has informed us that race is a social construct that the white race created to oppress other races.

        For those who are not following,

        the left says that something that does not exist was created by a people that does not exist to oppress a people that does not exist and that is why the former people that do not exist must be despised and punished while the latter people that do not exist requires our help to obtain any success.


      • Finns, Swedes, does it matter? you are all white ( and so am I ) and whites are bad bad bad and that is all that matters.

        Get with the program!

        whites are bad bad bad!!!

        I know this because the left has informed us that the white race , to better oppress other races, has created the idea of races, thus it is a social construct.

        For those who are not following, let me try again,

        According to the left, there is no such thing as race because race is a social construct that the white race has created to oppress other races.

        That is why we must punish the white race, and help other races, because there are no races…


      • I guess we found the Norwegian, erm, underground….. Ethnic Finns are still Scandinavians, it’s a region, not an ethnicity. And, like I said, all the ones I’ve known – which includes several girlfriends, a Swedish fiancee and thousands of fellow travelers – have described themselves as ‘Scandinavian’. Even the ethnic Finnish ones who speak only Finnish and English, but no Swedish.


  59. Oh comments, if only you were approved by a moderator. Hang in there comments, someone will love and approve of you one day, when the discussion is over and no one is reading the article anymore.


    • Dont’ worry about the wait time…I come back to check your comments every so often to make sure I didn’t miss any!


  60. Happens to all of us. Ive had things show up 3 days later


  61. […] have turned us into a nation of flakes. Also: how to get your girl to send you […]


  62. Pics of Owen Cooks wife plz.


  63. […] Heartiste – The Age Of Flakes, Relationship Game, The Necessity Of Relationship Game, Catalonia Singing Separate Ways, How To Get […]