Anti-Flake Tactic

Le Chateau and its guests have offered many battle plans for combating flakiness in young women. (I stress “young”, because older women with fewer options don’t knee-jerk resort to flaking as often as women in their attractiveness primes do.) Non sequitur game is a great method for dissuading women from flaking by switching their pursuit dynamic from chased to chaser. Trial texting game is effective at screening out girls who are more likely to flake on you. The archives abound with other techniques for dealing with, and dismantling the female impulse toward, flakiness.

Now a reader has offered another anti-flake tactic, and it is a good one.

Her: 24 year old half Finn, half French, internationally raised (diplo-brat?), a 7-8? (we’ve never met)
Me: 33

Met on okcupid (judge away, it’s great where I live), arranged a Friday evening first date, I get a text 30 mins before we’re to meet:

Her: Salut, i just got to my friends bday, u have to get up early, so maybe another time? Sunday perhaps?
Me: (next day at noon) Can’t! I’m busy tomorrow.
Me: (8 hours later) Sorry I was working. We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…
(I assumed I’d look bitter and never hear from her again. I didn’t care.)
Her: (on OKC the next morning) Hey, sorry about Friday, it was not very polite to cancel last minute, sorry.
I have a friend staying with me next week until the 21st, so I’m not sure when I’ll be available to meet up.
Have a nice Sunday,
Me: (by text a few hours later) Hey, got your note. I’m not too busy to swing a drink today. Can you?
Her: (5 mins later) Am at [museum] now but free after that
Me: (45 mins later) Ok how’s this evening?
Her: (15 mins later) Great, tell me where and when and I’ll be there

A solid turnaround, I’d say.

Tight, my good sir, tight. You could call this “next day service” game, where you don’t respond to a foot-dragging, flaky woman until the next day. (Forget about the planned date; a woman who has flaked on you 30 minutes before a date does not anyway deserve your company should you manage to change her mind about meeting you at the originally scheduled time.)

A woman will not be able to resist her hamstery compulsion to perceive your status higher than she first judged if you make her sweat a little, or a lot, with a non-response when she is expecting a response, and with a non-spiteful or non-needy response when you do eventually respond to her.

There are only two acceptable and effective attitudes to cop with flaky chicks:

1. She is a lost cause, so any forward progress is merely icing on the cake that is your life, or

2. you assume the sale and handle her as if she really wants you and is just playing the brat for make benefit of her glorious ego.

The reader quoted above had an attitude that encompassed a bit of both. He was sufficiently unimpressed by her that he could afford to wait a day to respond to her flake, and when he did respond he did so with the confident, non-pussyfooting-around air of a man who assumed the flake just needed a little prodding.

Most flakes won’t go anywhere, and, assuming you maintain a full love life otherwise, that’s a good thing. A flaky woman has tipped you off that she is a specimen of poor character, and will, truer than not, eventually resolve herself into a pain in the ass. You’re better off screening out flakes quickly than dealing with them in perpetuity.

But anti-flake game will give you a shot to turn it around with a nontrivial number of flaky chicks. For such a low cost investment in your time and energy, it’s worth the attempt.





Comments


  1. “We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…”

    Some early twenties girls want to be consider fully-functional adults especially when dating someone over 30. With this in mind, calling them so brashly can actually work. Look for the 20-somethings who have at least a modicum of their shit together and that’s an indication of wanting to be considered more mature.

    The hardened slut party girl usually doesn’t have her shit together and will flake out of stubborn habit. A girl like that has the attention span of a housefly.

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  2. “We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…”

    Too many notes. She’s already proven herself to be the bitch she obviously is.–

    Just say:

    “Let’s reschedule because you’ve got a great ass.”

    And leave it at that. Sexual frame as soon as possible. That’s what works.

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    • Yup.

      This girl should be treated as a cum dumpster. She canceled 30 minutes before to go do something else. Payback’s a bitch…with jizz in her eye.

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      • That’s why meetups should be very close to your place. You can also tell them to swing by your place & pick you up.

        Alternatively, you can plan the meetup at a venue you were going to anyway.

        With online chicks, there’s also the possibility they were double booking, planning two dates on 1 night, which you should be doing as well.

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      • Agreed. I either invite her over (preferred) or to a bar within walking distance of my place. Drinks never dinner.

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    • i agree about the pitfall of logically reasoning w a chick. but yours is worse because at least with his, he demands she put her back into a possible future encounter.

      contrast with yours, where you fall into her frame by explicitly accepting bad behavior because of her looks. that’s why girls like this run amok like that; guys like you put up w it because you see beauty as a sufficient condition rather than as merely a necessary one.

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      • Rescheduling is rescheduling… in other words her hindbrain already knows this dude thinks she’s hot enough to tolerate the Friday night flaking. Pumping and dumping is the best way to keep girls like this from running amok..chastising doesn’t work.

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      • to be clear:
        “We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort.”

        this is good.

        “Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…”

        whereas w this i agree w you both. unnecessary. but re the first, “putting forth effort” means shes gotta work to win back his favor. that was how he managed to save this. hell also save the first $~20 on the 1st round of drinks.

        [heartiste: right. it would have been tighter game if he had stopped after “put forth the effort”. the remainder of his reply was extraneous and not likely to help his value.]

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      • yes, good rules of thumb are: less is more, and resist the urge to explain yourself.

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    • Nah, I like his line that you quoted. It’s what turned her around. The next thing she did was qualify herself by admitting rudeness.

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    • Why give her the status whore attention of telling her she has a “great ass”. Lame.

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      • Who cares what you give her as long as you give her dick.–

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      • Well because psychologically texting a girl that she has a great ass can often have nearly the same effect as pinching her on it.

        Now you answer me this.

        Why give her the status whore attention of asking her out?
        Why give her the status whore attention of talking to her?
        Why give her the status whore attention of looking her way?

        [Heartiste: This point sometimes gets lost in the details. Eventually, as a man, you’ve gotta bust a move or you aren’t going to get anywhere with women. That means letting women know of your intentions.]

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      • Instead of “eventually” I’d say: sooner rather than later.

        There’s your all-purpose txt:

        “sooner rather than later”

        Fortune favors the hard.–

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      • I believe the correct expression is “fortune favors the bold.” Don’t dis my Romans!

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  3. I have done something similar in the past. Girl I met while out sends me a flake text an hour before we were suppose to meet. I sent back a simple “ok ” a half hour after we were suppose to meet.

    The next she sends me a text asking where I was at. I tell her where and that there was a cover

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    • Didn’t let me finish.

      She came and paid the cover. We danced made out and I followed her back to where she came from. When they said the cover was $20 she said oh no he is not paying it.

      I then followed her back to her place and smashed.

      So that delayed text game seems to be very effective

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  4. Hah. Got one of these right now. Hooked up with this little JAP a few months ago, she didn’t fuck or blow (lately in bed I go about half as far as I think she’ll let me, then say I’m not going to do any more because I like it better when the girl is ripping *my* clothes off. I don’t know if it ‘works,’ but it’s fun!) and I never called her.

    Stumbled on her number on monday, went for the booty call:

    Me: Hi Kendall, hows the love life

    Her: haha about the same how about you

    Me: I know why you’re having boy problems

    Her: problems?

    Me: I put a curse on you for one night standing me

    Her: hahahaha and how do i get rid of this curse?

    Me: sacrifice a goat. Someone’s rusty on their old testament…

    Her: haha well I’m not going to injure animals or people. Can’t we do something else?

    Me: Well if you’re downtown right now you could buy me a drink and tell me you’re sorry

    Her: i’m not downtown right now. why don’t you meet me on friday night? I’m sure i’ll be downtown with my friend again.

    Me: nope I’m too impatient curse stands

    (From here, the undertone is she wants to be a friday night girl and I want a bootycall. She did not respond, so one hour later..)

    Me: also I look great right now and i want to show off

    Her: hahaha cant replicate that friday night?

    Me: no. all the girls i meet now wear panties. boring. (Slut compliance test. She wasn’t wearing panties the night we met..)

    Her: thats terrible. (No response after that)

    Me: i’ll hang out on friday but i need your id by thursday and your friend’s not invited

    (I relent. For three days she doesn’t respond, I don’t call text or anything. I wrote her off, when this morning..)

    Her: Haha ok but I’m not sure how I would get you my ID today. Do you want to meet up after it?

    Me: Too late slowpoke! Hah. You’re bad at phones. I do want to see you though..

    Her: Damn! I think you cursed me with being bad at phones. Let’s get drinks Saturday then

    So there it is. From celibacy to guaranteed backup pussy to close out my weekend in just a few texts. Thanks steve jobs.

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  5. What can you do if the girl flakes on you like 1 day or even 2-3 days before the date?

    One issue I’m having is that a girl will flake, but won’t even send you a text telling you she is going to flake? Is there any way to recover from that?

    [Heartiste: 3 days before is not really a flake. She might have a genuine scheduling conflict, and is letting you know well in advance. If she offers an alternate date, then you’ll know she’s not flaking.
    If she stands you up, then you’ll just have to suck it up and move on. No point contacting her again, not even to chew her out. It will solve nothing, and the revenge won’t taste very sweet since you’ll be attacking from a weak position. Even letting her know that you showed up for the date she stood you up on is telegraphing your weakness.]

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    • One more question: What do you do when you get a gut feeling that she is going to flake. Like for example she doesn’t reply or waits awhile inbetween the scheduling the date and the meetup? Im assuming your flake before she flake tactics works here. At what point does it have maximum effectiveness? 1 day before? Morning of? Few hours? a minutes before?

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      • on December 15, 2011 at 11:50 pm Murray F. Rottencrotch

        Here let me unfuck you.

        One of the lessons of social psychology is that if one person is sensing something, others likely are as well.

        So one of the major diffusing, nerve-relaxing observations is that when you’ve got that raging boner some bitch in the room is in heat. If you’re horny so is someone else so don’t get nervous about it. Game is just the style and technique of recognizing the dynamics of whom that bitch in heat happens to be and how to improve her quality.

        So what you have to do is this: learn to habitually and intuitively recognize that when your concern about flaking rather reflects an overall concern about flaking rather than merely your own personal neuroses.

        Your last contact is always potentially her last opportunity to get with you. It’s up to her to chase that. Keep that strongly in mind and little or nothing else.

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      • “Like for example she doesn’t reply or waits awhile inbetween the scheduling the date and the meetup”

        by not replying to your text she’s already subcommunicated a flake. if at that point you try to save face by sending a flake text it’s really obvious to her that you’re just afraid of getting flaked yourself.

        it’s only a valid strategy if there’s no reason for her to assume that you’ve got wind of her upcoming flake.

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    • What about texting a penis?

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  6. Happened to me a few months back…a 38 year old…but hot flight attendant I met at a party and gamed sent me her number. We agreed to meet up for drinks at a cool place.

    3 hours before the date she texts:

    Her: Hey, great seeing you last night. Sorry not feeling well, can’t make it tonight, hope you understand.

    Me: (10 minutes after we’re supposed to have met up) Oh. Just got this. If we meet up again, you’re buying.

    Her: (hour later) Haha, sure I’ll start plugging my piggy bank.

    Nothing from her for a month. Then I ran into her at a party while I was with another girl. I smiled at her, and gave a speech (DHV).

    Then I left with the girl and blanked the flake. Next morning I get this text:

    Her: You left without saying goodbye last night. I thought it was rude. Have a great week.

    Me: nothing… never saw her again.

    But the fact she took the time to tell me I was “rude” for not saying goodbye…means game works…

    [Heartiste: Sure does. A commenter once had a great text reply to a flake who cancels on a date hours beforehand: “gay”. So simple, yet so devastating.]

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    • my responses to the rude text would be: “I’m so sorry for being rude to you. I’m not used to flaking on a date. Next I won’t flake on you. Promise!”

      Reverse role play. It works best when the girl calls you a jerk despite her being in the wrong. Sarcasm can work in this situation.

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      • on December 16, 2011 at 4:41 am Dr Van Nostrand

        I dont recollect if it was Mystery or David DeAngelo who said that the best way of dealing with being stood up was to text(dont call if possible) her and apologize for standing HER up!
        Classic

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      • works only if it’s congruent with your earlier game.

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      • then again, if your game is tight they wont be flaking on you.

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      • you’d show that you’re still butthurt over a 1 month old flake? tight.

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      • @marc…exactly. Best to say nothing as I did in this case.

        But the tendency is to want to respond with something clever…which would only make it seem like you cared.

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    • Handled it perfectly walawala, What a snatch she was, being all hurt after she ignored her? You’re spot on not even replying.

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  7. You’re not quite there yet if… http://flyfreshandyoung.wordpress.com/
    Posted on December 14, 2011

    … You’re still getting butthurt about dudes who are getting girls in ways that don’t fit your cherished conceptions of “Alpha”.

    Over the course of my time in this corner of the interwebz, it has become pretty easy to differentiate between those who really get it and those that do not. Dudes that read and comment enthusiastically on Game sites are not immune from this.

    Those that get it accept that there are many different ranges of behaviors and styles that can make one a boss with the ladies. They understand that among the various men who are successful with women- whether they are gelled up guidos, starving artists, suave Don Drapers, or skinny ass potheads- exhibit through their various methods and lifestyles the overarching principles of dominance, status, outcome independence, mystery, and so on, but often in different mixtures.

    Those that do not get it have instead crafted ideals of alpha that best suit their worldviews of how an Alpha should act. Maybe they hate on Mike from Jersey Shore because he dresses in Affliction and Ed Hardy and acts like a complete caveman. Maybe they hate on the dude who chills all day and sells dope for a living while banging chicks he deals to (and her friends). Maybe they hate on that beanpole of a kid who couldn’t bench 135 who pulls mad chicks on the basis of his wits alone, like this kid Mikey I knew in college. Whoever their problem is with, I can guarantee you it is because these kind of men do not fit what the keyboard jockey has decided alpha is.

    Cognitive dissonance ensues. They’re convinced something must be up, so holes must be found, excuses made, or the goalposts of alpha must be shifted. Badger elaborated on this awhile back with his post “Stop Denying the Alpha-Beta Paradigm“.

    Alpha traits are associated with visceral masculinity, i.e. strength, dominance, mastery and a healthy self-concept. But society tells us that masculinity is something different, like ponying up cash or not judging a woman’s sexual past, so it’s hard to swallow that yes, women are attracted to physical strength, social dominance sometimes to the point of arrogant rudeness, guys with pipe dreams in interesting but usually-doomed careers (like musicians and writers) and even narcissism and indifference.

    A typical refrain from said victims of butthurtedness is usually something “Well, that’s not really alpha, a real alpha would do _____/is _____.” Guess what? Women could give a fuck less what you think alpha is.

    If I had a litmus test for who really gets it and who doesn’t, I would have someone read Heartiste’s “StarCraft Nerd Has Cute Girlfriend” and gauge their reaction. The amount of glorious keyboard jockey butthurtedness skyrocketed off the charts into uncharted lands. Men of various stripes and internet sheltered egos showed their true colors as they absolutely refused to believe someone who is a champion video gamer can get hot women. “But that’s not riiiiight!!!! It’s not possible!! He cayaaannn’t!!! He plays nerdy video games waaaaaaa!!!!” Hater circle jerking ensued, with lube required for their tender penises.

    Dudes who get it, instead of whining and objecting and hating with every ounce of their deep seated insecurities and jealousies, study other men who are getting snatch. Instead of asking why and crying into their appletinis, they look to see if there is anything that dude is doing they can learn from and possibly emulate, and bring their game up to another level. Real recognizes real.

    I think I’m Big Meech, Larry Hoover!
    Posted in Random Thoughts | 3 Comments
    I’ll pass on the weed brownies next time
    Posted on December 12, 2011

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    • Don’t sense the butthurt as much as disbelief that certain behaviors could pull mad chicks..routinely. Even beta orbiters get charity fucks..but it ain’t a winning strategy. Just saying.

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    • on December 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm flyfreshandyoung

      Ha what’s with this guy copy-pasting my post?

      Anyways, as to flaking prevention, while I don’t go on dates and get chicks to bring her and her friends out to bars with me and my friends, one thing that works very well to get them to pull through is to toss out preventative qualifiers. Stuff like implying she isn’t cool or fun if she doesn’t show up. It’s not 100%, but I’ve found it to work better than not using it.

      One from Friday:

      Me: Hey what are you up to tonight

      Her: Me and Katie are going downtown, wbu?

      Me: Yeah same. Were going to [bar], ill see you there if youre cool enough

      Her: Haha we’ll see, we were thinking [other bar]

      Didn’t text her back. She’ll either show up or she won’t, and trying to persuade her just makes you look desperate.

      They showed up. We got a little sloppy later on and my friends started throwing ice at us, but that’s neither here nor there.

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      • I don’t think the ”if you’re cool enough” thing had anything to do with it. I’d say that it’s more the attitude of either she’s going to show up or not. Just on GP, no self respecting man should let whether he has a good time out be determined by whether some chick he barely knows shows up to a bar.

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  8. This guy did a couple things right but I have a more cynical take:

    Using the internet to meet chicks: strike one
    Reserving a Friday night for a first date: strike two
    If it was a dinner date: strike three
    Texting the second time on Sat. when he hadn’t heard back: strike four
    Using the word “sorry” in that text: strike five
    Chastising her verbally instead of demonstrating same: strike six
    Giving her a second chance on Sunday after she had probably ridden the carousel with other guys all weekend: strike seven

    This AFC is waaaaaay outta there!

    Sure he may have eventually got a hookup out of it (that is not made clear) but with a flaky, entitled bitch who probably fucked 2 other guys the previous day. I would rather just leave her hanging completely and call up another ho. Golden move would be setting up that date Sunday and then going Swayze never to be heard from again.

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  9. The best response to a last-minute cancel is silence. I had a 24 year old pull the “I know we have plans in an hour but I’m really tired, is it okay if we cancel?” text which I ignored. Over the next four hours, she kept texting, “Just wanted to make sure you get this, why aren’t you responding.”

    The next day, after a dozen similar texts from her I finally sent one back saying “I didn’t see the need for a reponse.” and left it at that.

    She’s tried a few gambits to try and make me reply – suggesting I was rude or a jerk but I’ve just let her keep thrashing and a week later, she came over to apologize in person.

    Before I learned game, I would have been the one apologizing for having an issue with her bailing on a date.

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    • The best response to a last-minute cancel is silence.

      Yeah, that’s often true.

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    • 100%.

      [SILENCE] is a powerful Alpha response.

      Gets the hamster spinning hard: “why doesn’t he respond to me”

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      • on December 16, 2011 at 5:05 pm Alpha Centauri

        I’ve come across this advice before, but wouldn’t silence be interpreted as butthurtness? Agreed that the hamster would kick in.

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      • Could go either way. A weak girl will respond. A stronger one will think, “Fag”, and be done with it. Point is it doesn’t matter to you.

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    • The best thing about silence is that it keeps you from shooting yourself in the foot, which is one of the biggest problems for guys in the still-learning-game stage.

      “A closed mouth gathers no foot.”

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  10. If he didn’t get laid it’s probably because she sniffed out the incongruence.

    Contrast these two statements: “Sorry I was working. We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…”

    and

    “Hey, got your note. I’m not too busy to swing a drink today. Can you?”

    Even though she left him dangling and didn’t appear to want to set up a time to meet, he negated his claim of being a self-respecting man by doing all the work for her.

    Result: A slightly more inflated ego on some broad out there and a few free drinks down her gullet, as she smirks in satisfaction on the way to her real booty call afterward.

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    • “If he didn’t get laid it’s probably because she sniffed out the incongruence.”

      Disagree. We don’t know the outcome, and it’s not the point of the post.

      Most of the time women don’t react logically, especially on the onset of receiving a txt from a potential suitor. And further disagree that her thought process “sniffed out the congruence” and in return she decided at that moment not to fuck him.

      Confusion is good. When in doubt, be illogical, be irrational, be emotional. This is how women communicate.

      So your analysis is that she went on the date anyways with the pure intent of getting her ego stroked and free drinks, all with the preconceived notion to not fuck him based on the incongruency of his TXT from earlier.

      Mental Masturbator.

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      • @Ripp “Confusion is good. When in doubt, be illogical, be irrational, be emotional. This is how women communicate. ”

        THIS IS FUCKING GOLD and it works. I’m all over the map with one, just like this and it’s looking like it’s worked.

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  11. what an unimaginable pain in the ass. glad its not just me who deals with this shit.

    getting laid really does require sinking to their level of dishonesty and manipulation. merry christmas

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  12. I’ve got a post that deals with flaky text girls. It may help with focusing on reality.

    http://www.absoluteability.com/attraction/girl-isnt-texting-back/

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  13. Oh…. the techniques of Flake-be-gone. My rule is to never fully invest your time/schedule/resources into a date. Have a contingency plan. If she cancels the last minute and you already went out, then you have a place to go to even though she flaked on you.

    DOOn’t ever assume a girl will automatically be there just because she says so. A woman’s word doesn’t mean as much to her as it does to a man.

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  14. Any tips for getting with girls who you’ve known for a long time, but are not very close?

    Obviously there’s no need for a pick up line or unrealistic DHV, but do y’all have any particular possible hamster exciters for this situation?

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  15. DiamondEyes,

    He didn’t fail any congruence tests. He played it calm and cool.

    He didn’t seem to have a lot invested in the encounter.

    Looking from the outside, it’s easy to analyse and spot mistakes, and to make suggestions. But this guy had to act on his feet, and he did a decent job

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  16. Hy all, i’m new to game and in general have had miserable success with women due to anxiety/awkwardness/shyness/ect. Anyways, here is an opener i’m thinking of using at the buss stop that I would like some feedback on: with a wry smile – “waiting for something?” (or something to that effect)

    Is this good or shit?

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    • Buy Roosh’s “Bang” right now and read it. I’m not kidding. Do this now.

      Like


    • Women are rightfully on-guard at rape-o-matic places like bus stops. Unless I had received what they call an “indicator of interest” I wouldn’t think of cold-approaching at such an unappealing locale. If it happens to be a nice area, and the sun is shining through the trees just right, and she’s glanced over at you, and you’re genuinely feeling great about yourself, then, I suppose, why not?

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      • There’s a couple women I get serious IOI’s from at the bus platform and on the bus, it’s a difficult venue to be sure, even with the eye contact.

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    • Creepy.
      Get back to the fundamentals. And openers are useless if your conversational skills are weak.

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    • it’s quite shitty even if your delivery was golden which it won’t be based on the description you gave about yourself.

      never fake a smile, it won’t feel natural. on the other hand, when it’s natural it’s going to be very powerful when you drop a short smile in the beginning of an approach.

      get this book, well worth the money: http://www.rooshv.com/day-bang

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    • “Waiting for something?” 8D
      “Yeah, the bus you idiot” :/

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  17. on December 15, 2011 at 11:35 pm Murray F. Rottencrotch

    Weakest post or group of posts? Haha that’s a test and you’re too fly to answer that.

    What do you do when you meet a girl whom you know will be the first one to bear your children?

    Listen up toolbags–we’re trying to cultivate real citizenship here so help us mend the social fabric or GTFO. Watch how the beta party hack Republicans are colluding to throw up obstacles for Ron Paul. I’m anti-fag as hell and even I know this is bullshit. http://www.ontopmag.com/article.aspx?id=10364&MediaType=1&Category=26

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  18. Earlier in the semester there’s this 7.5 hipster chick on campus I’ve been running into a lot. i text her:

    me: come see drive with me

    her: what (she’s trying to sweat me; I don’t reply)

    her (after 20 min): sorry, I mean what time?

    me: (after 45 min) 7:00. 5555 titsahoy road, google maps is yr friend

    no response after this, affirmative or negative. I’m near the location anyway, so I show up late, wouldnt you know it, there she is.

    so afterwards i got free drinks and got in her pants. had I flipped shit and sent a volley of needy texts, wouldn’t have happened.

    tl;dr: girl acts like she’s gonna flake over text, I call her bluff by ignoring her, get some.

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  19. Meh, I wasn’t impressed with the whole convo. I think the guy got lucky. I’ve never had any success with calling out a chick on her flakiness.

    I generally do not respond at all and they get back to me of their own accord (sometimes). Don’t even respond to the flake notice. Just nothing. I don’t negotiate with flakes, they get silence unless they spontaneously come up with something worth the effort it takes me to respond.

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  20. All negative responses give at least a one day turn around! ;P

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  21. Haha. A great one is the preemptive flake. If you get the feeling that it’s coming (you’re getting a call from her anywhere from 1-4 hours before the date), turning it around and cancelling on her before she has a chance to get it out feels wonderful. So is pulling off a revenge flake sometime down the road.

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  22. on December 16, 2011 at 4:31 am Days of Broken Arrows

    I have a post suggestion topic related to this: the retroactive cockblock. This is when you meet a woman and everything goes fine, then inexplicably she starts to flake. Often, her friend is working behind the scenes to screw things up.

    I’m reading a book by a DC writer called “Beach Week” and this exact scenario occurs. Girl meets guy at party, thinks he’s cool, then best friend starts calling him names on their ride home, saying he’s too old, too foreign, etc.

    Now that I think about it, this exact thing happened to me several times in college. At least one time I was able to undo it by bumping into the girl again and having her “realize I wasn’t a jerk” like her friend *who didn’t know me* apparently said (WTF?).

    Wonder how to undo the damage done by the retroactive cockblock if you can’t get face time. Maybe by confronting it directly?

    Like


  23. “A flaky woman has tipped you off that she is a specimen of poor character,”

    But every woman flakes…

    Like


  24. Good post and great topic to discuss with men who are ‘actually’ out there gaming.

    And of course there is much Mental Masturbating going on in the replies, as usual. C’mon guys if you disagree or dissent with the tactic, post your own suggestions/methods. Not doing so only underscores you’re a BETA chump.

    In the context of a ‘last minute flake’ for a ‘first date’ whether it be from an internet #close or cold approach #close, my following suggestions:

    Preemptive Strategy
    1) Always be building comfort with TXT game with your target: Flirt. Tease.
    Examples:

    [Ripp]: stop causing trouble at work

    [Her]: It’s hard not too 🙂

    end thread.

    [Ripp]: what does miss [name] want from santa

    [Her]: Everything 🙂

    [Ripp]: u have been too naughty for that

    [Her]: Ahaaaaa! My letter read: Dear Santa, I want it all, [name]

    [Ripp]: *rolls eyes* you can’t be monopolizing santa’s time

    [Her]: Wanna bet? Hahaha

    [Ripp]: All u deserve is a spankin young lady *spank*

    [Her]: Perv, Ahaaaaa!

    end thread.

    Notice how I always make her send the last TXT. It’s a ‘pull’ strategy. Also notice how I use *gestures*. This works like a fucking charm.

    2) Set the meet. Then reopen later at a random time with a NEW TOPIC before the meet to continue comfort building and mitigate flake probability:
    Example:

    [Ripp 6:25PM]: listen I have some time tomorrow evening meet me 8ish lets go cause trouble

    [Her 9:23PM]: Haha sounds great- ur funny lol. I have had the toughest night at work tonight! Sorry I couldn’t get to my phone any sooner

    [Ripp 11:11PM]: things settle down for you at work

    [Her 11:15PM]: Yeah I just got home

    [Ripp 11:20PM]: home in cambodia

    [Her 11:22PM]: haha yeah it is for the next 10 days until my new place is ready 🙂

    end thread.

    NEXT DAY

    [Ripp 9:43AM]: look at my xmas tree I decorated it myself {attached: image of outdoor mall xmas tree that is 100ft tall}

    [Her 9:54AM]: lol wow!! Great job, it’s beautiful

    end thread.

    [Ripp 4:50PM]: hey goof

    [Her 5:56PM]:heyyy! u working still? I’m rushing to get home!! Lol my mom had to go to court so i went with her 🙂

    [Ripp 5:58PM]: would 9pm be better for u

    [Her 5:58PM]: i thought that was the time we were meeting anyway???

    [Ripp 5:59PM]: goof ball *rolls eyes* i guess it is now

    [Ripp 6:00PM]: k see u at 9PM at [coffee shop] 1234 North St. in [location] drive safe

    [Her 6:02PM]: is that inside the mall???

    [Ripp 6:03PM]: Yes

    [Ripp 6:04PM]: at malls they have this thing called a directory its like a map that tells you where stuff is

    [Her 6:05PM]: haha ur making me go to a human zoo!

    [Ripp 6:10PM]: you will feel at home since ur an animal rarrrr

    [Her 6:11PM]: haha

    end thread.

    Notice how I am BUILDING up to the initial first date. I’m breaking up the place and time into different TXTs sent at different times and weaving in other random topics, teasing her etc. Basically its a SMOOTH transition from TXTing to first meet. Builds comfort. And you can COMPLIANCE TEST to see if she is going to flake or not. If she is going to flake, she won’t be responsive the day of the meet.

    Post 1st Date Flake Strategy

    Within hours, minutes or the same day of a previously confirmed meet:

    [Her]: hey something came up with work and I can’t make it tonight maybe another time?

    [NO RESPONSE & NO REPLIES if she re-opens]

    NEXT DAY:

    [SILENCE, NO REPLIES]

    2ND DAY:
    -Open with a funny statement
    -A playful tease
    -Do not mention the flake AT ALL. If she mentions it, ignore it and disregard.

    [Ripp]: been doing crunches at the gym….548, 549, 5…5…..0……ugh

    [Her]: haha heyy!! ur silly. sorry couldnt get together the other night how are you?

    [Ripp]: please don’t interrupt exercise 551,552,5..5…3

    [Her]: haha 😉

    end thread.

    random time reopen.

    [Ripp]: hey dork I have some time wednesday at lunch, meet me ~1230ish

    …rebuild INTEREST & COMPLIANCE, then CLOSE for meet

    If she’s high SMV she is most likely going to flake to shit test you. Also she is going to have MANY men txting her all the time. You can rise to the top by always making her laugh and being “cool”. Notice how I am ASSERTIVE and TELL her to “meet me”. The strategy here is to rebuild compliance and try for another meet. Never be reactive. Be aloof. Random.

    Because 1st date flakes are so common and I have an ABUNDANCE of women in MY TXT ORBIT I don’t care. If she flakes for a second time, I either never contact her again or send a similar TXT to the author of the post.

    SHE FLAKES A SECOND TIME:

    -1 day of silence
    -2nd day:

    [Ripp]: listen I’m a straight up guy- at this point I can’t take you seriously. I’ll think about maybe giving you another chance…

    [Her]: Sorry. You’re right. I haven’t been attentive, and that’s not right of me to do.

    I always have received an apologetic response from this. It’s seems kind of beta, and it is. But it has worked. And further, I have been able to successfully meet and continue the game process. I only do this with beautiful women…why? Because I want to fuck them! If she’s AVG or below…next…….until next month. heh….

    I have what I call a “FOCUS GROUP” of women I TXT to try out new material on. And also I will stick them in “COLD ROTATION” which I let them sit in silence for a month or so, then reopen.

    Women are emotional beings. Depending on what is going on in their life at any moment, they may need a man to fuck their brains out. TXT GAME is easy, cheap etc.

    Good luck guys.

    Like


    • Well I think we’ll have to agree that there are different types of PUAs here, with different preferences and tactics.

      Personally, I didn’t supply a big tactical breakdown because I wouldn’t need a tactic in the case described in this post. I would simply ignore the bitch indefinitely and turn my attention to other girls in the rotation. Ironically, this non-tactic works better than 90% of the ‘tactics’ out there.

      Since you called others out on being beta chumps, let me offer a brief critique of the tactics you outlined.

      I don’t know how old you are, but to me that just looks like a whole lot of texting, ego-stroking, game-playing, girly shit, high school shit, friend zone shit. Why on earth would you get all caught up in text games like that? And for such long periods? It paints the image of a loser in his bedroom hanging on her every utterance. You think it increases the respect and admiration she has for you?

      This doesn’t fit for everyone, but my style is the suave casanova player. When in doubt, I ask myself What Would James Bond Do? Would 007 be texting bitches shit like “goof ball *rolls eyes*”? Of course he fucking wouldn’t. He wouldn’t text women at all, unless it was 3 words or less – per week. He would ice the bitch and on to the next until she comes begging back on his doorstep.

      Like


      • Well look what we have here. A case in point top notch MENTAL MASTURBATOR.

        DiamondEyes, diamonds are for bitches. Take advantage of the good prices on heels and skirts for your drag queen party this xmas.

        “I would simply ignore the bitch indefinitely and turn my attention to other girls in the rotation. Ironically, this non-tactic works better than 90% of the
        ‘tactics’ out there.”
        Ignore the bitch. Then what? Oh that’s right she txts you back 5 days later and wants to fuck right away. Um ya, probably not cool guy.

        “I don’t know how old you are”
        Irrelevant.

        “just looks like a whole lot of texting, ego-stroking, game-playing, girly shit, high school shit, friend zone shit”
        Not much txting at all, really. Ego-stroking, game-playing, girly shit: yes, you are correct. High school shit: only if she is 18yrs and still in high school. Friend zone shit: nope.

        “And for such long periods?”
        Inadvertently you have exposed your lack of knowledge in this area. You do understand that txting can be done anywhere, at anytime. With talk-to-txt apps, slide out keyboards, swipe txting, short hand, etc. it really takes no effort. Sorry grandpa it’s almost 2012.

        “It paints the image of a loser in his bedroom hanging on her every utterance.”
        Projecting your issues?

        “You think it increases the respect and admiration she has for you?”
        I don’t think that it does. It does.

        “When in doubt, I ask myself What Would James Bond Do? Would 007 be texting bitches shit like “goof ball *rolls eyes*”?”
        I hope you understand that 007 is a fictional character from the movies. At this point it isn’t difficult to expose any more of your weakness and lack of knowledge in TXT game. Han Solo seems pretty Alpha also, what would he do?

        “Of course he fucking wouldn’t. He wouldn’t text women at all, unless it was 3 words or less – per week”
        Let’s break down the 007 TXT game strategy logically: 3 words or less, once per week. Hmm. This means that every 7 days you only TXT 3 words to your target. If your objective is to never hear from her again, you’re game is exceptional.

        It’s easy to spot Mental Masturbators on here. The typical MO is they get frustrated and ‘fear’ when different/new tactics are presented. They only criticize, offer no suggestions and their way is the only way. Any solid artist is always learning and always trying new material.

        DiamondHeels, You portray as if you have an ABUNDANCE of targets in your TXT rotation. I challenge you: try some of the above tactics on targets that have flaked. See what happens…or just use your 007 x-ray vision spy glasses and jerk off to the neighbor’s daughter.

        Lastly, young women, (18-25yrs), ya know the ones that are the MOST ATTRACTIVE, are TXTing whores and are very playful and respond VERY WELL to my above suggestions. Unless logistics serves you for a same night lay, TXT game is REQUIRED in reality to setup a day2. But then again if you are actively gaming hot young women…you already knew that.

        Like


      • You pretty well missed my entire point so I won’t bother breaking down your nonsense. The bottom line is that most women are flaky, and the way to combat this is to keep several plates spinning at all times. If you are confident in your game, you can go out to any bar, any night of the week, and get a SNL with a 6 or a future playdate with an 8. In that context, getting oneitis, playing text and facebook games, etc just comes across as immature and needy. You don’t need to stoop to girly levels of communication in order to bang them. Let them text with their orbiters and girlfriends. Being laconic is better. You said several things in your sample texts that would turn a lot of girls ice cold, where you would have looked better saying nothing. Why risk it?

        Like


      • on December 17, 2011 at 11:55 am John Norman Howard

        Spot on.

        Captain Ripp of the Butthurt Brigade ripped his own self a new one.

        Like


      • Ripp did you bang that chick?

        All that shit you’re doing over text is unnecessary. If you built up enough attraction and comfort during your INITIAL INTERACTION she’ll be down.

        There’s no such thing as TXT game. If you’re gonna set up a first date man up and CALL her. The text her on the day of to confirm. That’s it.

        Like


      • “Why on earth would you get all caught up in text games like that? And for such long periods? It paints the image of a loser in his bedroom hanging on her every utterance.”

        “Would 007 be texting bitches shit like “goof ball *rolls eyes*”? Of course he fucking wouldn’t. He wouldn’t text women at all, unless it was 3 words or less – per week.”

        lol When you have high value, you can do anything you want. If Brad Pitt txted that chick “hey goofball” and txted her all day long, do you think she’d go “Hey Brad Pitt, get lost, you’re clearly a loser in your bedroom hanging on my every utterance!”? No, of course not. Why? Because he has high value to the girl.

        Same thing happens when you reverse the genders. If Angelina Jolie called you at 3am on a Tuesday you wouldn’t go “ugh, I’m done with YOU Angelina Jolie!” and hang up on her. Because she has high value. Or fuck it, say the president calls you, same shit. High value trumps all.

        How do you raise your value?

        – Get better game so the 8+s see you as high value

        – Hit on ugly shitty low quality chicks so that your low value seems higher by default

        Most “James Bond” wannabes do the latter, not the former. The hot girls don’t give a shit if you “ice the bitch” and sure as fuck won’t “come begging back on your doorstep” lol The shitty desperate ones might though, since to them you’re Brad Pitt. 🙂

        Like


    • Solid text game man.

      James Bond does not get laid by the hottest girls in the club. That doesn’t mean he’s not getting laid, but he’s not taking down the impossible girls. I’d bet my ass that the chick Ripp is txting is way hotter than anything the naysayers are tapping. Smokin’ hot popular social girls don’t sit there going “omg that guy I haven’t fucked didn’t text me back!!! He’s soooo cool tho with his James Bond casanova personality, omg I’m going to txt him and beg him to fuck me!!!” She doesn’t give a shit about you because she has a dozen other guys chasing her that she has more of a connection with.

      **You can’t next a girl you haven’t fucked. That’s her nexting you.**

      Game used to be about figuring out how to work the impossible sets and how to overcome and turn around situations that would make other guys give up. The whole “I’m gonna give her one chance and if she doesn’t jump on my cock, fuck it I’ll go get more girls” thing is just an ego-protecting way of saying “I don’t know how to turn this around, so I’m going to find an easier (and probably less attractive) girl”

      Which leads to shit like “you can go out to any bar, any night of the week, and get a SNL with a 6 or a future playdate with an 8.”

      Wow. Fucking 6s and theoretical playdates with 8s (but only the ones who jump on your cock instantly, because if they put up any fuss, James Bond moves on to the next easy 6 being such a huge pimp and all). lol

      I’m starting to wonder if anyone in the comment section here fucks anything besides easy ugly chicks, foreign chicks who want a green card, or their own girlfriends/wives.

      Like


    • Ripp, that’s excellent stuff man.

      Like


  25. Im surprised no one has mentioned the old ignore her then “accidentally” send her a 5 am text meant for another girl”:

    “chill, your jackets on the chair right were you left it, you can get it tomorrow; but the red panties are now part of my collection.”

    Like


  26. Waiting a day or so to respond really drives home the indifferent vibe that a good player should have.

    Even if the flake ends up never going anywhere, I’d keep the number because you never know when you can throw a good Piranha Frenzy.

    Like


  27. Great post but my gut reaction was, nooo! Flakiness like self-deprecating comments is another shield of mine and many other women who are not flakes but wildly indecisive and afraid of the whole scene.

    Please don’t expose this anymore.

    Like


    • what a flake exposes is not so much indecision, as dishonesty and poor character. it says that you don’t honor your word, and that you are too dishonest with yourself to be honest with others. it says that you are not assertive and confident enough to be straight up with someone.

      you should have just declined the invitation in the first place, or called the day before with an honest explanation like “I’m not sure about this so we better postpone for now”. chicks cause almost all of their own problems because they can’t be honest. and they love to keep those orbiters in the loop through the deception that they have a chance.

      Like


      • on December 17, 2011 at 11:57 am John Norman Howard

        … chicks cause almost all of their own problems because they can’t be honest… and they love to keep those orbiters in the loop…

        Ne’er a truer word was spoken.

        Like


  28. You know, flaking only works on certain guys because it’s so reductive.

    Like


  29. A woman will flake because she doesn’t feel enough attraction towards you. Now, this could be your fault if you didn’t build enough attraction. But it could also be that the woman’s standards are too high.

    Like


    • Possibly.

      More appropiately I’d say she flaked because you didn’t build enough COMFORT with her. Attraction is what will get you her #. Comfort (with continued attraction spikes) is what will lead to a high probability of her complying to a day2 meet.

      Standards too high? Maybe. There could also be a thousand other reasons she didn’t comply. All of which have nothing to do with you.

      Like


    • on December 17, 2011 at 12:05 pm John Norman Howard

      Or it could just be the fundamental character flaw of all-too-many women… especially prior to the Age Of Desperation, after their hotness fades.

      Like


  30. I think I’m very good at waiting a day to reply to texts, etc., even if things are going nicely with a girl. The source of my non-neediness is that, as our generous host has suggested, I genuinely make my mission and not my girl my priority in life. If I say to a girl, “I was busy working on stuff last night,” it’s generally true. Though sometimes I was on a date with someone else.

    Like


  31. on December 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm Holden Caulfield

    Slut offers advice. Guess what it is:

    be more alpha.

    http://www.doingthedistrict.com/2011/12/samantha-says-man-up.html

    Like


    • on December 17, 2011 at 12:02 pm John Norman Howard

      Beware the know-it-all sluts who post a Jessica Rabbitesque pictogram rather than their actual picture.

      Like


  32. We need to define the terms, set up a taxonomy of flakes. This is a flake on a meet n’ greet off of a date site. This is a different scenario than the flake from digits gleaned off a bitch at L2. Here, the guy scored a date presumably after some back and forth on OKC. Who knows the foundation but there was bad form on the friday night meet n’ greet, but her flake is especially rude and on short notice. I don’t know, “We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games,” may have been great mature-framing to a 24 year old but it sounds kind of off. Maybe cut the message in half, and chose one. And don’t apologize for being at work.

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  33. Roosh and the mystery method between them, and this site, are all any aspiring PUA needs.

    And a ton of practice

    Like


  34. Never met a woman yet that was worth fretting over!

    Like


  35. What about advice on flaking yourself (guys)?

    Say I want to reschedule a date (the day itself) because of reasons of convenience for myself.
    – Good idea, to what extent?
    – How should I interact?

    xx

    Like