Supply Your Own Caption

From this story:

I’ll start.

“King Kong swats at a cheap tipper.”





Comments


  1. on December 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm TremendousHeh

    Shallow Hal 2: Electric Boogaloo

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  2. I’m too sexy for this shirt, so sexy it hurts…..

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  3. “American municipal building codes among most demanding in the world, new studies show.”

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  4. A harpooned whale.

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  5. Putting the load in “load bearing column.”

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  6. “Black guy dies, goes directly to heaven”

    [Heartiste: So racisss, but so lol.]

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  7. inb4 the rooshmens arrival and their subsequent onslaught of the typical american woman

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  8. “First round of men brought to New York’s first Sexuality Sensitivity Reeducaton Center experience the rapturous enlightenment of socially progressive female objectification. Enthusiastic dancers were overjoyed as the locally procured men were respectful and quiet, a notable change from other nights at the tavern. The owner was also delighted with the spectacle, and noted that alcohol sales were triple what he would take in on a regular night.

    Activist security, armed only with sarcastic commentary and social scorn, are busy collecting another round of registrants for this Friday’s show. Moves are afoot to make attendance mandatory for all males over the age of 21.”

    Like


  9. coming soon to a slutwalk near you

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  10. “I _am_ America!”

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  11. Fatty issues.

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  12. “Halloween at the fire department”

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  13. Fear: No longer the only thing you need to fear.

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  14. Harrr, matey!

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  15. “Once thought to be a fictional metal, adamantium alloy creates stripper pole that can support even the heaviest aspiring entertainers”

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  16. It was only after Stay Puft switched to HFCS, that Ms. Stay-Puft started working at the Chubby Bunny Ranch

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  17. BMI: A Dummies’ Guide to Determining Whether or Not it’s Exploitation

    [Heartiste: Good one. “Exploitation” is really just feminist code for “anything that gives straight men pleasure”.]

    Like


  18. on December 7, 2011 at 3:22 pm Fourmyle of Ceres

    “In this picture, the subject demonstrates her unusual grip-strength.”

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  19. “9 Die in Building Collapse After Pole Proved to be Load-Bearing Structure”

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  20. Objectify This!

    Please?

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  21. Headline: Recession forces Michelin man into career change

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  22. This picture really eats the cake

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  23. Lulu demonstrates a real life oxymoron.

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  24. on December 7, 2011 at 3:28 pm someguyontheinternet

    Sad,deluded woman tries desperately to imagine that she’s capable of eliciting sexual desire. Fails, dies in crushing loneliness.

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  25. The blogesses of feministing break down and try and land some boyfriends.

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  26. CERN scientists have also discovered small fluctuations in the gravitational constant – mainly affecting vast swaths of North America.

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  27. My dances are so good, they register on the Richter scale.

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  28. 18+ WARNING: bizarre medical condition content

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  29. Redressing Black Rage: A Radical Proposal for Slavery Reparations

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  30. “Prole” dancer.

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  31. on December 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm 1st time caller

    Gross…

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  32. The last pair of shoes that Al Bundy sold before his suicide.

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  33. The Chafe Heard ‘Round The World

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  34. “A Pole bears the full weight of Germany’s newest weapon of mass destruction.”

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  35. Recession forces Michelin man into career change

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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  36. “Cachalots: is there anything they can’t do?”

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  37. “This is just a demo for my strip aerobics”
    “I’m just doing this to pay for my twinkies”
    keep your shirt on… pls

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  38. “With patriarchy being crushed into defeat, Amanda Marcotte is free to be herself.”

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  39. The 5’4″ Hanover, Maryland local is perhaps one of the most active in her pole dancing community,

    That is funny, Hanover is a microdot in Maryland, about the size of the megamall it houses, a pimple next to BWI. Makes me wonder if there’s a strip club near the airport that delights in tormenting the bewildered businessmen that surely arrive seeking some erotic delights after a long flight, only to be slowly tortured to death while being forced to watch lulu, and then being consumed by vampires, like Maryland’s own sad version of From Dusk to Dawn. My advice: Go to Duclaws instead, the beer is good and they won’t kill you, and the secretarial pool is strong.

    It’s especially merciful of the host to have spared us the image of her on her back with her fupa blopping down into her face. And damn, Gorby is tearing it up.

    Like


  40. Whale trail.

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  41. Finally putting conspiracy theories to rest, photographic evidence reveals truth about what brought down 7 world trade center.

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  42. “Fat girl fat girl, whatcha gonna do…whatcha gonna do when we run from you…”

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  43. No muff too tough. We harpoon at noon.

    Like


  44. “Buffalo escapes from zoo”.

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  45. “Al Qaeda combines terror camps and fat camps to develop new mechanism for inducing building collapse”

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  46. “She fell off the pole once in March 2011. Japan has never been the same.”

    “A vanguard of the feminist movement, this brave woman is constantly breaking glass ceilings… and floors, and furniture…”

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  47. Prohibitionists report that recent data suggests stripping is no longer acting as a soft entry to prostitution for new showgirls.

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  48. “Searching for materials strong enough to use in a space elevator, NASA stress-tests a promising new find.”

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  49. #OCCUPY STRIPPER POLE

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  50. “This is a club that will live in infamy.”

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  51. Fire Marshall suggests weight limit for strip clubs after 4 alarm fire.

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  52. “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill her with a terrible resolve.”

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  53. Scientists discover: Pole dancing not a good weight loss workout.

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  54. “We’ll need to reinforce that pole soon”.

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  55. Look out below!!!

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  56. “Got leg ribbons?”

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  57. The Incredible Bulk

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  58. Local Slutwalk Demonstration commandeered Baby Dolls today in a protest called: Take back the Pole.

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  59. …take the load off annie,,.. take the load for free,… take the load off annie….Annd, aaaand aaaaaaaaaand.. you put the load right on me~

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  60. See a Pole dance.

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  61. Theory of Gravity Disproven

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  62. I believe I can fly…

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  63. at first glance, I thought she was wearing sweat pants….

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  64. Free Willy Pole Dance Edition

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  65. Crouching Cellulite, Hidden Wires

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  66. “Neutrino speed anomaly resolved – failure to correct for curvature of spacetime caused by organic gravity well.”

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  67. on December 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm Todd the Midget

    Body Type: Average

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  68. on December 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm Schroedinger's Zomby Kittie

    The pole is glad it’s inanimate.

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  69. I got nothing. That image drains all desire and leaves me speechless and unmotivated to create.

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  70. “My name is Whale. Tokyo Sex-Whale.”

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  71. “Bua ha haaa. Little to they know I’m the owner of the Pussy Ranch! Bua ha ha ha haaaa”

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  72. Stripper who works for food and rarely leaves pole says “Toss it here!”

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  73. on December 7, 2011 at 6:06 pm John Norman Howard

    Call me Maelish.

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  74. Public service message: “And this is your brain on drugs”

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  75. on December 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm John Norman Howard

    The only thing missing is… CONFETTI!!!

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  76. This is what a feminist looks like.

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  77. Scientists discover species of stripper thought extinct. Breeding program fails.

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  78. “I know it’s not sexual attention. But it’s attention!”

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  79. “Osmium alloys such as osmiridium are very hard and, along with other platinum group metals, are used in the tips of fountain pens, instrument pivots, electrical contacts, and in this case, high yield stripper poles.”

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  80. Rapist operant conditioning chamber number 1.

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  81. “I just want someone to love me for who I am”

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  82. The only pole she ever gets

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  83. At the sword swallower’s convention: advanced gag reflex training.

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  84. Damn! look at that. How in the hell did she get that job?

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  85. on December 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm John Norman Howard

    “This is for all the jerks who said they’d never touch me with a ten foot pole!”

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  86. At the strippers reunion, it was easy to tell who got married.

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  87. “Miss Bubble Butt” contestant speaks English as a second language. Confuses “bubble” for “balloon”.

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  88. Slutwalk 2: This Time It’s Poledancing

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  89. on December 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm Matt the Bastard

    The all-consuming fear of every young little firepole, the night before the quality control exam…

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  90. You can’t buy entertainment like that.

    For the love of GOD… Please tell me you can’t buy entertainment like that…

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  91. “Shove over, it’s my turn. I’m tired being behind the blowjob curtain!”

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  92. “Reality is a social construct. Accept my reality!” says girl living in her own reality.

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  93. “You’re gonna need a bigger pole.”

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  94. “It’s not the years, honey, it’s the tonnage.”

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  95. Well, how about THAT: You CAN teach an old manatee new tricks!

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  96. “No! Stay away from me! I don’t want to visit the cat food factory!”

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  97. Feminist attempts to disprove laws of attraction and gravity.

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  98. “You can’t handle a strong independent woman”

    “Nope…”

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  99. “Get her some brown rice, vegetables, and a bottle of Evian.”

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  100. New event added to the Special Olympics

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  101. Niche marketing attempt fails

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  102. Meanwhile, in Bizzaro-world, Heartiste prepares to unleash his neg, refrains from observing redbush dance to DHV.

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  103. 2020: Worlds thinnest stripper

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  104. Newly enacted anti-discrimination law has widespread effects

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  105. Because men are attracted to confidence!

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  106. They said I could be anything….So I became a flag

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  107. Will Dance For Food

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  108. In Soviet Russia, stripper tip you.

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  109. Vlad the Impaler would not have missed.

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  110. My brother’s view of his empowered wife expressing herself, as he prepares himself for his upcoming interracial cuckolding.

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  111. Clean your eyes with this.

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  112. on December 7, 2011 at 8:58 pm Matt the Bastard

    News 11 Exclusive: Jessica Simpson gives it “one last shot”

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  113. Russian stripper at age 35.

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  114. Caption:- “Disappointed, Showanda found that she could not eat the pole”

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  115. Nancy Pelosi’s Dirt on Newt Gingrich Revealed!

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  116. She-beast eats entire fire station.
    Forced to do their rounds.

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  117. I feel really sorry for that pole ‘she’ is straddling…

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  118. DELUSION
    Just because you feel sexy does not mean you are

    or

    POLE DANCING
    It isn’t meant for fat hoes

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  119. “The camera really does add a few pounds.”

    Alternatively,

    “Artist’s projection of the thinnest woman in America, circa 2030.”

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  120. This is what happens when you let your fiancee plan your bachelor party.

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  121. “I touch myself with a ten-foot pole (because no one else will…)”

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  122. Ahoy captain, thar be poon on the harpoon

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  123. Does this pole make my ass look fat?

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  124. Where’s her boyfriend – that nerdy little guy Kermit?

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  125. TMZ was beaten to the Lindsay Lohan Playboy cover, so it revenged itself with Rosie O’Donnell’s bachelorette party.

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  126. Red t-shirts: separating me from *complete* blindness since 2 seconds ago.

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  127. “Come on guys, I’m only getting paid $2.13 an hour.”

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  128. Hey Egon, where’s Venkman, he’s back.

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  129. At least you can save money and tip her with twinkies.

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  130. Ridley Scott reviels new monster in Alien prequel

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  131. At Vorteck Industries, our quality-control specialists test our firepoles under the harshest conditions imaginable.

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  132. Obama’s Monica Lewinsky.

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  133. The last pair of shoes that Al Bundy sold before his suicide.

    Al Bundy.

    He stood up for all of us!

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  134. 1 harpoon short of a lifetime supply of clean-burning lamp oil.

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  135. “Pete’s Stripper Poles – No One Makes Them Tougher!”

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  136. “Feminista falls while trying to fuck pole, Earth tilts (photo tilted 90-degrees anti-clockwise to redress balance)”

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  137. on December 8, 2011 at 2:00 am How much can a Koala Bear

    Does my bum look big in these stretch shorts?

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  138. That’s the ugliest looking fireman I’ve ever seen!

    or

    Finally found Lardass Hogan a girlfriend!

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  139. Walpurga found out the hard way that “more surface to bury tips” does not necessarily equate “more tips”.

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  140. There is a market for everything. Literally.

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  141. Please tell me that the guy in the background is only watching this to get into the pants of the chick to his right.

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  142. on December 8, 2011 at 4:34 am Large Hardon Collider

    First feminist fire station opens in Chicago, aims to show women firefighters equally capable.

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  143. on December 8, 2011 at 6:30 am Bohème Chinois

    “I’m big and in charge! Now give me your money, boys!”

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  144. Crash Test Dummy

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  145. There’s cake on the ceiling

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  146. “Paging Captain Ahab!”

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  147. Get me down from here!!!!!!!!

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  148. Help! My beef curtains got stuck to the pole!

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  149. “This pole dance is NOT an invitation to RAPE ME!”

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  150. …and that’s when we realized Rearden Metal could handle any caboose.

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  151. I’m not heavy, I’m big-boned.

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  152. But… will it bend?!

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  153. Who you gonna call?

    Ghostbusters!

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  154. We warned her those magnets weren’t candy, but she wouldn’t listen.

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  155. Through various different challanges of testing the latest materials our annual steel industry meeting has come to the final stage.

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  156. on December 8, 2011 at 2:10 pm Too Smart To Fail

    The picture say’s it all! (A picture is worth a 1000 words)

    That pole is an engineering marvel.

    Even the audience is in admiration of this feat of engineering excellence.

    Structural engineer responsible for such design, name please..

    Female delusion and self-entitlement at it’s finest.

    Should I thank Facebook, or her beta-orbiter’s?

    Even King Kong’s balls would shrivel into oblivion like that of slug under a salt storm!

    Like


  157. Made possible by Titanium. The worlds strongest metal.

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  158. “Don’t throw nasty bucks at me. I want a sammich, motherfucker!”

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  159. on December 8, 2011 at 2:56 pm Obstinance Works

    Latest American Trend: Bernakefied Thighs Up In The Polls At Beta Frequented Strip Clubs

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  160. Haha, this reminds me one incident I saw – in Tempe, AZ there is a bar called Whip, they have a stripper pole secured only by a heavy base. A fat girl started dancing on the pole (quite a sight, in a bad way) and, of course, she knocks over the pole and falls. Everybody laughs, Next time I visit they put a small sign “No fat chicks please” in front of it. Hope it’s still there, although it would surprise me. Anyways, I think that bar deserves a CH award for community service.

    Like


  161. ‘You asked me once,’ said O’Brien, ‘what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.’

    http://www.george-orwell.org/1984/21.html

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  162. “Ohhhhh, the humanatee!!!!”

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  163. Will work for Twonkies

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  164. Twinkies**

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  165. “Shame”, RIP.

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  166. At “Brothers Strip Club” we also have a wide selection of fried chicken, malt liquor, grape drink and macaroni and cheese.

    Watchu waitin fo’

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  167. This is what feminist victory looks like.

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  168. Well, I WAS thin – that is, before we unionized.

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  169. Rock Bottom
    If you are paying for this, you’re there.

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  170. or

    DESPERATION
    You know you’re there when you’re paying for this.

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  171. This is what equality looks like.

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  172. Self Esteem: When you lover yourself just the way you are.

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  173. Headline: “Turbo Swine splits from spit after haywire truss breaks”.

    Oh, the humanatee.

    Like


  174. on December 9, 2011 at 1:45 am How much can a Koala Bear

    The only club that uses a forklift to deliver lap dances…

    Like


  175. on December 9, 2011 at 1:46 am How much can a Koala Bear

    Forget tipping dollars throw donuts…

    Like


  176. “Come back when pigs can climb poles… Oh, w8…”

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  177. Being overweight is a major risk factor for cancer in women:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16031149

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  178. Making it thunder in the Champagne Room at Wal-Mart

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  179. The new album cover for Panic! at the Strip Club

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  180. Swingers 4: Lap Dance Apocalypse

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  181. The inaugural test of the little-known precursor to the Large Hadron Collider located behind the Shoney’s in Marmet, WV, circa 2006

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  182. “PATRONS: Tips are appreciated. If arm becomes lodged between dancer and g-string, wave other hand and assistance will be provided. Motorboating is strictly at the patron’s own risk and neither management nor employees will be responsible for customer extraction. Thank you for patronizing The Feedhouse” — Mgmt

    Like


  183. Putting the Size in Strippersize

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  184. Cirque du Soleil en Enfer

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  185. Stage music: Eat The Pain Away by Peaches Melba

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  186. Scientists at Large Holidron Colldier discover particle with infinite mass.

    Black man dies, reincarnated as stripper pole.

    Wackowski brothers reveal central character in new laws-of-physics bending thriller, The Femimatrix.

    Like


  187. New toy! Just in time for Christmas…The amazing Inflato-Feminist. From ‘hot’ to ‘not’ in just seconds. Batteries not included.

    Like


  188. Scientist discover how to inflate strippers with helium so it´s easier for them to reach the top of the pole

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  189. Amerrrrica… FUCK YEAH!

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  190. “I’m working my way through chef school. Honest.”

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  191. H.R. Geiger’s wife Martha makes her first social appearance.

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  192. She’s static, it’s the club what is spinning.

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  193. Everyone agreed- there was just something missing in the new American flag, especially when it fluttered in the breeze.

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  194. on December 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm Corporal Hicks

    “Those two women behind me are SOOOOO jealous!!!”

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  195. Club collapses killing all due to mysterious failure of load bearing columns.

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  196. “We test our Cr-Mo alloy steel tubes to the most rigorous standards.”

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  197. Earth’s magnetic field suddenly reverses polarity

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  198. This is what is sounds like…when a pole cries.

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  199. first casualty of the jihad on fat girls.

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  200. “Welcome to America.”

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  201. “…the day pigs could fly.”

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  202. Many African tribes believe that if you eat a rhinoceros’ penis, you will become strong and virile like rhinoceros. The same applies to lots of animals. Fatso has successfully applied this theory. She ate a stripper.

    Like


  203. There is something wrong with her eyes, that is not the ocean.

    Like