A reader emails to express his wonderment that his nerdy friend has a smoking hot girlfriend:
Generally this blog is the truth but this defies nature:
my friend is a nerd who clocks in plenty of hours of world of Warcraft and other shit. When I heard he had a girlfriend I was happy for him expecting him to show up with some goth girl who was chubby but endearing or something. Instead he shows up with probably the hottest girl ever to set foot in this house. She’s one of the party girl/ model types and we were all speechless. How is it possible? There’s about a five to six point discrepancy at least. although we enjoy each others company he grunts more than he speaks and is about 5′ 3″ and has sticks for limbs. Please solve this mystery, if it means anything she had the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy, only laughed when he said shit or fuck or something. I’m not bullshitting she really was that hot. I want to stay anonymous though.
I want to be glib and dismiss this reader’s concern with the usual “exceptions do not prove the rule” truism, but I noticed something in his email that offers a possible explanation for why a WoW playing nerd has a hot model girlfriend. It’s in these two lines:
“although we enjoy each others company he grunts more than he speaks”
“only laughed when he said shit or fuck or something.”
My take is that this guy is no typical nerd. Grunting is an aloof alpha form of communication, and one that nerds generally don’t engage in. Hot party girls love non-needy assholes, and a guy who grunts all the time is signaling a very strong aloof and indifferent frame. Most hot girls under twenty-eight are attracted to that type of man.
Nerds don’t curse much, either. Any so-called nerd who says shit and fuck a lot is likely not representative of the archetypical nerd despised by women.
Verdict: Despite his short stature, stick limbs and WoW playing, our reader’s nerd friend is actually the jerk that women love. It’s always best to recall in these seemingly anomalous scenarios that women discern a man’s alphaness by much more than the size of his arms or his dorky hobbies. While women’s alphaness is easily recognized — looks, looks, looks — men’s alphaness is shapeless and contingent. You’ll have a much harder time picking out the stone cold alphas from a line-up of twenty men than you would from a line-up of twenty women.